CHAPTER SIXTY FOUR

Agni :

I got shocked at first with her words. I didn't mention anywhere that she should take my permission nor did I say that I am possessive. If I didn't trust her or am possessive, I would react in a very aggressive manner as soon as I saw a guy in my wife's flat. If I am possessive or arrogant, I will scold her severely for allowing a man to stay here and would blame her character. But, I trust my wife. I do not doubt her. But I am scared to leave my wife with a person about whom I knew nothing and that too in another country. I can't visit her whenever I want because getting a visa takes time.

"Ok Jwala, it's your independent decision without my advice or interference. I never knew that being independent means trusting a person blindly."

"I know him."

"What? Do you know him well?"

"No, but he is good. I can say that by seeing his nature within these 2-3 months."

I smiled at her words.

"Why are you smiling?"

"You didn't understand your parents or Aadarsh whom you knew from years. But now you are saying you read Aneesh within just 2-3 months. Isn't it funny?"

"I knew you too just for a year and married you. Now I am trusting you after one more year. As per your opinion, I didn't know anything about you and shouldn't trust you too" Jwala said which shocked me.

"Jwala" I shouted at her.

I held her wrist pulling her close to me making her look into my eyes.

"Do you mean I am equal to a stranger? Are you comparing trust on me with trust on Aneesh? Is this what you think about me? Am I just a stranger to you?" I asked her.

"I want to be independent Agni. Your restrictions are making me feel insecure and a coward. I want freedom" she said ignoring my questions.

It's hurting to know that I have no unique role in her life, though I am her husband. I know I was wrong in the beginning and showed her hell. But, after that, I stopped hurting her completely. Even today, I regret my words and torture which I gave to her. I am repenting every second. But still, I failed to find a special place in her heart for me. Maybe I can never make her love me.

I left her hand and sat on the bed.

"I am sorry Jwala. I mean to say that what if Aneesh is not a good person. After a few days, I will leave for India. Every second my heart beats fast with tension whenever I think my wife is away from me in another country. I am so scared about your safety.

Even if anything happens to you, I can't come at once as I should apply for a visa and all. You are misunderstanding me. I don't have any objection if Aneesh stays with you, but I want to know his background to ensure your safety. How can I leave my wife with a stranger without knowing anything about him? I love you, and I can't bear if anything happens to you."

"Agni, I am sorry."

"Last time when you married Aadarsh leaving me, I thought it's ok if your happiness is with Adarsh. I didn't even file a case on you for marrying him with divorcing me. I want your happiness. That's why I thought to leave India too.

But knowing that human trafficking gang abducted you, my heart almost stopped beating. Three days, I saw hell as I didn't find you. Until I gave half of our property to that idiot, he didn't leave you" I said and cursed myself.

Shut, I didn't tell her this till now.

"What? Did you give away half of your property, your hard work just for me?" She asked looking at me with eyes.

"Yes!"

"But why Agni? I always fight with you, I never trust you, and hurt you many times. I didn't deserve you or your love."

"No one deserves me more than you. You are the light of my life. Jwala, in this whole world, only you and baby are important to me than anything else."

She came to me and sat on her knees before me. She kept her head in my lap.

"I am sorry Agni. I thought you are possessive towards me. But I didn't understand your love and care for me. I am sorry, please."

"It's ok, no problem. Get up Jwala; your place is in my heart not there" I said and made her sit on the bed and hugged her.

She is making me learn how to deal with patience and love. Maybe it's true that we can't hurt the one whom we love. As I love her, I am unable to hurt her though she is wrong a few times.

"Sweetheart, being independent doesn't mean falling into problems. I want you to be independent and free, but at the same time, you are responsible to your family. If I tell that you should take permission before making any decision, that's asking you to depend on me and restricting your freedom. But, what I want is informing me about your every decision as your safety is my priority. I too share my every decision about business with you. Because we are a couple and we must know about each other. Having secrets bring cracks in the relationship. So we should share everything with each other"

"Ok, I will share everything with you. Aren't you angry with me?" She asked pouting.

"Now I am not angry, but I got angry with your words before a few minutes."

I am hurt Jwala. Even now you didn't understand me. I am not mad at you for refusing to my words but disturbed for comparing me to a stranger.

"I will ask Aneesh to leave."

"No, it's your decision. I didn't want to oppose. I will talk to Aneesh again about his background. If he didn't reveal, then I will ask him to leave" I said.

"Jwala, I am leaving tomorrow evening to India," I said.

I didn't know why but I didn't want to stay here for some more time. Jwala's words affected me. I want to leave before I hurt her.

"But you told me that you would stay for two weeks."

"Yes, but something important came up," I said.