CHAPTER 57

OLIVIA'S POV.
My head hurts a lot from all the voices and memories that I had encountered, but far more than how much my head hurts, my heart does a lot more. No, scratch that. My heart didn't hurt, my heart bled and it is still bleeding as I stood by the lake. How could a single person have gone through all those pains that came as memories to me? How could a clan be so wicked to treat one of their own in such a callous way?
"Aaahhh!" I screamed at the intensity of the pain I felt from merely thinking about it.
Worse, each time the memories hit, it always felt like it had happened to me and not to someone else. After that, I would calm down for a while and I would realize that it hadn't happened to me but to the person whose voice is in my head. Between those times when the memories hit me like they were mine and the time I realized that they weren't mine, I went on a full-scale killing agenda. I take out the life of anyone and anything I come across.
While a part of me would always rejoice at how feral I had been while exercising judgment on the people who were responsible for my predicament, the other part of me would always be disappointed in me and would always reprimand me when I am back to being sane. Like I am right now, deliberating between the good and the bad.
It was surely a tough battle to choose which of the sides I thought should win. But, needless to say, I knew it would be a battle of survival for the fittest. Whichever I let prevail over me would be what I would remain forever without any hope for recovery after the change took over my being.
I shooed away the discriminating thoughts from my head and I bent down and began to watch my face and body clean of the blood of the people that I had killed. I watched as the once clear running water turned into a crimson red one, flowing away before the water became clear again.
I sat down on the bare floor and I began to stare at my reflection in the water. My eyes were very puffy and my hair looked very wild and unkempt. The clothes I had on were so soaked with blood that I couldn't tell what the true color had once been. Who was worried about clothes? I thought. Me?
I gave myself a cynical smile. The clothes were the least of the things I should be worried about. I couldn't even remember who I am or where I originated from anymore. All I could hear and remember was who the voice in my head was. Then, I got the memories of what he had been through and then it all felt like it had happened to me and not him.
I looked back into the lake, placed my fingers on my ears and I smiled a little at how funny it was. That was when another memory hit me and I couldn't control it too.
"Shit!" I whimpered as the scene began to unfold.
I gasped and was about to sit up when I felt something softly push me back into the bed and I did not hesitate because of the soothing presence it brought me.
A hand snaked around my neck before moving me towards him. I smiled as I was greeted with a mischievous grin plastered on the person's face.
"Hello to you too."
I shrugged at the memory after it was gone. I was sure that the memory is another of Alex's and the only reason I saw myself in it might be because I wanted to have a sane, normal life, so I made myself a part of Alex's memories just like Alex and I merged into one.
When another bolt of memory hit me, I groaned loudly.
I turned, so my back was facing him.
When my Alpha had seen the scar on my back, he screamed and I was expecting the same reaction from Julian.
However, with the warm embrace on my back with protective arms wrapped around my waist, what I was expecting from Julian didn't occur.
Instead, he was embracing me, embracing my scars and this brought tears to my eyes.
"Thank you for holding out until I found you."
His hold on my body was firm and it made me safe and protected.
"From now on, I'll protect you." He whispered against my ear, "I'll never let anyone hurt you."
The tears came this time and I didn't stop it, couldn't stop it, didn't want to stop it. Of all the memories that had sneakers into my subconscious and I had always waved away that they weren't mine, I knew that this was different. This memory belonged to me and not anyone else.
Whoever the man in the memory had been, he had been filled with so many emotions and passion for me that I didn't know quite well what else to do as I remained seated. He had held me so tenderly in his arms and he had kissed the pain and sorry I felt away in that memory.
This meant that I must mean something to him. It had to mean that I meant a lot to him and not just something. For someone to display that much emotion, it had to mean that he hadn't wanted to see me hurt in any way. But who was he?
Even though I couldn't remember who he was, I knew that he had to mean something to me too. Otherwise, I would never have shown him my horrid scars. If I could undress in front of him like that, it had to mean that I had strong emotions toward him.
So, who was the man? What were the scars that had dominated my back that I had expected him to freak out on me? I knew that there was only one way to find out about the scars, so I began to undress. When I was done, I pulled the dress down and I turned my back to the lake while I tilted my head back to see through the water.
What I saw made me gasp loudly and out of shame, I quickly put on my clothes to cover my back and my scars. How could someone not have been disgusted with such scars? How had he been able to embrace the scars and still kissed them one after the other? Who exactly was the man?
I stood up, walked away from the lake, and I went back to the rest. I sat down on the bare ground and rested my head on one of the trees decorating the forest and giving it its looks of lushness. I looked around to be sure I was still alone, then I rested one of my arms on my knee caps before I rested my head on the arm.
"Who are you?" I asked softly.
That's what you are worried about? Who the idiotic man was? The voice in my head asked.
"What else do you want me to be worried about?!" I screamed at the voice.
What about the scars on your back? Didn't you think that they were horrid? The voice asked me.
"So?" I asked back.
Shouldn't you think about who had left them there and why? The voice said to me in a manipulative voice.
I got hooked on it as I saw the truth in what the voice had said and I began to ponder on who could have done such an inhuman thing to me? Or what kind of a person I was before I lost my memories. Was I a rebel that got punished? Or was I a thief?
Even if you were a thief or a rebel, you didn't deserve that from them. The voice said, cutting me off my thoughts.
I saw the reasoning in what the voice said and I agreed.
Do you want to know those that did that to you? The inner voice I had come to relate with said to me.
Yes. I said, boiling with anger.
Your people did it. Our people did that to you. The werewolves' clans that should have been our protectors turned into our predators. They made you and me what we are today. Tell me, do they not deserve our wrath? The voice said to me.
"They do," I screamed. "Those bastards deserved every anger we've invoked upon their heads!" I shouted and lifted my head.
That was when I saw a blonde-haired woman walking toward me in a hurry. My head was still very hot from the revelation I had about the people who had treated me more lowly than even animals should have been. Seeing a werewolf approaching where I was only made me madder than I was before she came. I stood up in a swift motion and I wanted to rush over to kill her.
I stopped when I saw her rushing toward me. When she got to where I was, she did not say a single word to me and she simply held me in her arms. She held me so tight that I began to feel very uncomfortable but I also felt warmth radiating in me and I felt happy to know that someone wasn't afraid of the monster I had turned into.
Kill her. She's one of them. The voice in my head commanded.
Despite that, I felt happy to see someone who wasn't repulsed by me, the anger I felt at being abused surpassed that. I didn't try to think about what I wanted to do or why I shouldn't, I just simply dug my claws into her shoulder. The blonde woman yelled out of the sudden pain and she flew out of my reach.
"Olivia!" She screamed.
I made the mistake of looking at her in her baby blue eyes and I lost the fight in my instantly as I saw the strong emotions in them. She looked extremely worried about me or whoever Olivia was but somehow, I knew that it was still me.
"Olivia? Is..is that...my name?" I asked her in hesitancy.
VANESSA'S POV.
"Olivia? Is...is that...my name?"
I knew that I shouldn't be astonished by what I had just heard from her but I still was. It was true that they had told me about her memory loss but I still hadn't believed that she had forgotten about who she was completely.
That would only work to my advantage though, I thought. I ignored the burning pain in my shoulder and I held her hand with one of mine. When she didn't try to free herself or tried to hurt me, I knew that she was desperate for the answer that only I could give her.
"Yes, Olivia. That is your name," I told her. "Do you not remember who you are at all? Do you not remember who I am?" I asked her.
I knew that she didn't remember any of those things but that was the advantage the moon goddess had given me a second chance to win her over. All the while when I had been searching for her all over the werewolves realm, I had the only one thought which was to find her. But now that I was with her, I knew that I wanted more.
I wanted to have her to myself and I didn't want to give her up anymore. When she shook her head, I knew that I had worn half of the battle. She was going to belong to me from now on and not to that incompetent Alpha that hasn't been able to save her from her troubles.
"I'm Vanessa. Your mate," I blurted out to her.
"Mate?" She asked me in a dubious voice.
OLIVIA'S POV.
"Mates?" I asked the woman with the baby blue eyes.
"Yes, mates. Don't you remember?" She asked me and she squeezed my hand.
I shook my head in the negative vehemently. I didn't remember anything about myself and from her little memories of my own that always crawled in at intervals, I had thought that my mate was a man. With the way my memories are foggy and erratic though, I wasn't sure if I saw the right things.
"Come with me. We have a cabin up in the woods. Let's return there, just you and I. I promise you that we will be happy together." The woman before me said.
I could smell the truth in her words and something in the way she looked at me made me want to desperately trust her. Besides, I was tired of not knowing who I was and just killing everyone.
"I am only calm now. When the voice in my head begins again, it won't stop until I've killed someone," I explained to her.
"I know." She told me, looking at the man I had killed earlier on. "Believe me, I can handle it." She said and she looked into my eyes.
"Let's go then," I told her, ignoring the voice trying to stop me.
She grinned at me and she pulled me sling with her.