CHAPTER 64

OLIVIA'S POV.
I dragged Vanessa's body out of the cabin into the woods, grunting all the way. The tears wouldn't stop flowing from my eyes either at the loss of the woman who had been nothing but a friend and a protector to me. When I finally managed to drag her to the backyard, in the deep of the woods, I was already panting for breath and wishing that some sort of help would arrive for me.
When I looked at Vanessa's dead body which was beginning to smell a little, the tears fell even more. They ran down my cheeks in streaks like they were racing for the finishing line that would signify their survival. Perhaps, I should be honest withh myself at the junction where I was now.
Vanessa's death had a huge toll on me than I was letting on. It affected me deeper in my spirit than I care to admit to anyone. I have myself a cynical cruel short laughter. Who was I kidding? There was no one to let out my emotions or what I was going through. It was just me, the dead body, the trees, the animals, the cabin, and the earth itself who were together.
Even if I wanted to complain and cry foul at the multiple injustices life kept dishing at me, I would have to do it to the non-living, non-breathing things that were my companions. The tears came even harder than before.
All my life, there had never been a single person that I could call a friend of mine except Clara. The type of friendship we shared was just because we had been treated in a very bad way together, so we understood what each other was going through and we knew how well and good it was to comfort each other. We also act as protectors to each other when one was in trouble, not that it did anything to help them.
The other person I could have called my friend was my mate, Julian, but he was nowhere at the moment to offer me the comfort that I wanted. True, I pushed him away from me but he should have still stayed a little bit longer to see if I would change my mind and run into his waiting arms.
All my life, I had always wanted that. While I could have tried it with Julian after we became mates, I found out very quickly how very perfect the man was and it made me show nothing but my perfection to him. I was his Luna after all and playing weakness wasn't a part of a Luna's duty as far as I knew.
I knew it was my insecurity that made me resort to showing my mate nothing but my perfect demeanor. If I had revealed my weakness to him just once, I knew that he would have worshiped the ground that I walked on and he would have done anything and everything to make me feel better about myself.
The reason why I said that? It was the night when we had first made love and mated. When I had first shown him the horrible mapped scars my family and my pack had made on my back, the gentle and passionate way he had acted towards me had made me realize just how much he cares about me. If I had revealed more, I was sure he would have razed down the Black Shrout pack because of me.
I sniffed my nose to stop the fresh bout of tears that were peeking behind my iris and I smelled the scent of the rain in the air. I looked up and I saw that the sky had darkened to the shades of gray and ashes and I winced. I got up and went back into the house immediately to get the shovel to dig up the land where I would lay Vanessa to rest in peace.
When I got back out, I began to shovel the land, panting all the while I carried out the action. Even though my wolf gave me the extra strength I needed to carry out the task, I still breathed heavily since I was only a girl. When I was done with the digging, I dragged Vanessa's body until it was at the top of the grave, then I gave her a little push and she fell in with a loud thud.
I grabbed the shovel in my two hands again and began to cover the body. When I got tired of using the shovel, I dropped it on the floor and I used my hands in its stead. By the time I was done, my shoulder and my arms cried foul to the rest of my body and I sat down on the floor without care about me getting dirty or the rain threatening to fall on me.
As if the rain had waited for the cue to fall from my thoughts, it began with a small drizzle. I raised my face so that it would beat me a lot harder than it already does. The action gave me a sense of belonging.
Weird, I know but I felt like mother nature and I was already one. Perhaps, it was because I had just buried a person I had also considered a friend underneath the dirt of the earth.
I looked at the fresh grave that had lines drawn over it from the little drizzles and I sobbed again. I would forever miss Vanessa and the show of friendship she had ever shown towards me. The shower of rain thundered more on my head and I rested my head between my knees.
I remembered one time when I had gone out on a date with Julian and Vanessa had waited for me by the door like a faithful bridegroom waiting for his bride to arrive. I hadn't understood back then why the woman had shown me such attention and love but now I did perfectly well.
I could understand Vanessa's feelings and the reason why I had done what she had done for me. It was because she had love in her heart for me and much as I try to ignore it, I knew that it was a true love that she had toward me. If it wasn't, she wouldn't have looked for me despite the danger I posed during those times. When everyone had turned away from me, she had been the only one who looked for me.
I cared about her as much as she cared about me also. The only reason why I had chosen her as a friend and my personal maid was that I saw myself in her at those times when I saw how the other maids had treated her as lowly as a dog. That was why I had chosen her as my maid to relieve her of the stress of the inconsiderate people.
Each time I saw her, I pitied her because I knew what pain was engrossed in the slavery among the maids. I had been a recipient of the ill-treatment for more than eighteen years after all. Having a brother to beat me at every little thing. My mother's whip landing on my back simultaneously without a single break for even a second. My father had even disgraced me and termed me an illegitimate child.
He had left me to be raped by men. If the beta and the omega were callous men, then I could have been dead by now. The man had left me to die in the hands of a stranger in the person of Alpha Leo. The maids looked down on me because even my family didn't care if I was alive or not.
The worse of it all was how they had always locked me in a dark room along with the insects and the rats and the ants. Until I was used to the dark and I couldn't stay in a place full of light. The light would always make me feel like I was getting blind and I might if I didn't leave at that moment.
I sighed and tried to let my thought go. That was when I realized that the rain was no longer a drizzle but it was now a downpour and I was completely soaked from my head to my toes. I sighed and I got up from where I sat. I looked at the grave of Vanessa and sighed loudly again.
"I'm sorry, Vanessa but this is where we part ways," I told her.
I left the dead and the rain outside and went back inside the room. I began to pack my meager things into a polytechnic bag in readiness to leave the cabin. When I was done, I looked around the room one more time. When I was done, I walked to the door and out of the cabin into the rain and the woods.
I had decided in my heart that it was time for me to start my life afresh. And to do that, I needed to look for my mate and talk things out with him. To do that, I had to go back to my mate and I couldn't do it if I remained behind in the cabin. This was why I had left with my things and left even in the rain.
When I sneezed, I regretted my decision to leave in the rain. Perhaps, I should have waited until it stopped. Even my body felt cold. I thought as I sneezed again. My wolf began to pant about in my head like she was warning me and I stopped walking. I turned around, looking for any sign of life either that of a human or an animal that made my wolf relentless.
When I didn't see anyone or anything, I relaxed and began my journey again. But the more I walked, the more my wolf panted more and more. When I couldn't take it anymore, I stopped completely and activated my wolf senses to scan the area for threats and to listen for anything out of the ordinary.
"Nothing is going on around here," I told my wolf to calm her down.
Danger. My wolf panted in my head.
"Where?" I asked her.
Around. Turn around!. My wolf shouted at me.
I nearly snickered at my wolf but I stopped myself just in time. Why was she making an appearance now of all times when I was trying to begin my life afresh? But what if it was just Alex's voice in my head that was just returning? Or should I just listen to my wolf and turn around? Or should I just listen to myself and continue on my journey?
I chose to ignore the wolf and I continued on the journey instead. I bent down to pick up a branch on the ground and that was when I spotted two pairs of legs standing behind a tree and I panicked. Perhaps, I should have listened to my wolf when she had warned me.
I took two quick steps backward in pretense like I didn't even know the men or women were there. I turned around and took to my race. As I ran, I heard footsteps running behind me. From how loud the steps sounded, I could tell that there were about ten to twelve people running behind me.
After running for a while, I channeled my wolf energy and it gave me more speed than I could ever imagine. Slowly, the voice that had been sounding loudly behind me stopped and I knew that I had listened to them for the time being. I stopped to catch my breath and I sighed in relief. Only moments later, the footsteps sounded again A. This time, it was even more games and polished than earlier. I caught my breath once more and I began my next round of sprinting.