CHAPTER 58

OLIVIA'S POV.
After we left the forest, my mate took me over to the cabin as she had promised. It was a small cabin that had only the basic necessity of life. No frivolous things, neither are there flashy things like in the stories of the fairy tales. It however has the comfortability that anyone would sell for such would find with it.
It helped me adjust to the new life that had been bestowed upon me. My mate also did her utmost best to make sure that I was comfortable and nothing triggered the voice that had made itself at home in my head. But that still didn't stop the demon from getting activated.
For the past two weeks that I had been here with her, she had done nothing but take care of me. She would get the water from the stream, hunt for our food, and still make the meal. The only thing she allowed me to do around the home was just read and relax. I found out that reading helped me to soothe the voice in my head like Alex was someone that had also enjoyed reading or he had started enjoying it from the first time I read a book.
Little by little, he would calm down every time I read a book. By the time I would get to the ending part, the voice would have been completely calm and anticipating the end of the book we were going through. After I found out the trick, most often, I always make sure to have a book in hand to help with the torment.
But I still forget once in a while and all hell would break loose. My mate, Vanessa, was always at the receiving end of my brutality. Once, I was so lost that I had clawed her in the stomach. Her scream had filled my brain so much that even Alex's voice had cowarded away for the time being.
"I'm sorry, Vanessa. I'm so sorry," I wept as I watched her face contorted in pain.
"It's...okay. I told you I could take...it." She had said in response to me and she had cupped my cheek to console me.
Of course, I had rushed to the bathroom and I had returned to her side with the first aid kit in my hands and I had rapidly tended to her and her wounds. Even though she had assured me that she was fine, I still felt terrible about my deed, especially after the wound had healed very slowly because she was a werewolf of the lowest order.
She hadn't been able to hunt for food for us or do any of the things that I was accustomed to her doing again. She just slept and slept for the three days it took for her to heal and I didn't bother her for anything except to eat.
For those three days, I would go out to hunt for us and I would end up killing at least one man after the voice in my head would compel me to do so. After I was done killing them, the seal on my eyes would clear away and I would rush back home into Vanessa's arms to weep.
She had never vilified me for once nor had she ever made me feel like I was a monster. Instead, she became the shoulder I could cry on when I needed one. A shoulder I can completely rest upon when I was weary.
Something a true mate would do.
But in it all, I still felt troubled a lot. I still felt like I was missing an important detail that k was missing in all my thinking. What it was, I had never been able to tell or find out or even catch a glimpse of but I knew that I was missing something important.
Maybe it was who I was or who I was supposed to be but I knew that it stretched beyond that. It was like somebody had been trying to peep into my thoughts despite all the turbulence I had been getting. Despite swimming in the ocean of memories and thoughts that weren't mine, the feeling still crept up on me at intervals.
Sometimes, the memories came too. The memories of the one man that I had always felt reassured of his love for me. Each time it came, I would ask Vanessa about it and she would reply that it was our memories that were trying to show me who I was.
"But why am I always seeing you in a male form? Why is your hair color always different and your eyes also?" I would ask her.
"Because your memories are messed up." She would explain to me.
"True...," I would concede only a few moments later.
"Ignore the memories, Livia." She would tell me afterward.
"Why?" I would ask everyone single time she said that.
"Because that is an old memory and you don't need them anymore. All we need to do now is create new ones that will always make you smile each time you remember." She would always reply to me.
And just like that, the memories would be buried as a thing of the past. While I honestly wanted to listen to my mate and forget about those memories, my mind would always drift back to the eyes that had always feasted upon my soul each time I was in the past.
I would find myself lost in thought about what the man in the memories was truly like. Conceivably, my curiosity was because each time I had the memories, his face was always blurry and only his eyes color and hair color were the visible parts of him. In those eyes, there was always love, care, and tenderness for me.
It made me always imagine why Vanessa would not want me to remember those wonderful memories we had together in the past. Thinking about those always aroused my suspicions but since Vanessa had been nothing but caring to me, I was always quick to brush the suspicions away.
I shrugged and brushed the thought away as I climbed into bed to get some rest. If I didn't know, the voice in my head might get extremely violent and I won't be able to get any rest again.
"Going to bed?"
I heard a voice ask and I smiled as I turned back.
"Yes, Vanessa," I replied to her.
She got closer to me and she kissed the top of my head gently.
"Good night, my baby love." She whispered to me.
"Good night," I answered her and closed my eyes.
VANESSA'S POV.
Good night, she had answered me but I couldn't detect the usual enthusiasm in her voice and I wondered why it was so. The more I thought about her odd behavior, the more I became worried about what could happen to her.
Could it be that she had another spam of memories of that stupid Alpha? Why couldn't the man let me enjoy my woman even now that he was no longer with us? Why did he create such memories with her that in turn created such a rift between her and me? Why had he kept emerging between us when he couldn't even look for her?
I was worried about what would happen if her memories mistakenly happened to be awakened. That meant that she would know that I had been lying about everything I had ever opened my mouth to say to her. If that happened, she wouldn't trust me anymore. She wouldn't trust the words I would ever utter to her again nor would she believe that I genuinely cared about her from the beginning of time.
No, I couldn't afford to lose her. In the past few weeks that we had been together, I had found out that I loved her even much more than I ever loved anyone or even myself. Each time she rushed into my embrace to seek comfort after she killed someone, I felt happy knowing that she had come to accept me as an important entity in her life.
If I lost all of that, I would never be able to hold on. No, no, no, I had to do something about it and very quickly too. Something that even if she found out about my deceit later, she would have already gotten so attached to me that she wouldn't mind my little lie. What could I do then? I asked myself.
Make love to her.
I smiled at the option I came up with. Making love to her and making her moan my name in pleasure was the surest way to secure my place in her heart. I would give her such a good time today that she would be repulsed by Julian when next she ever sees him. With that decision firmly in my mind, I got into bed with her.
OLIVIA'S POV.
I woke up to the touch of someone roaming around my body. As the person kept touching me, I felt and smelled my arousal mounting. When I couldn't take it anymore, I opened my eyes to see who it was. When I saw that it was Vanessa, I relaxed a little. She smiled at me when she saw that I was awake before she cupped one of my breasts.
"What do you want?" I asked her.
"What everyone wants from their mates, Livia. I want you." She told me in between kisses on my face.
"Hmm..." I responded when I felt a slight pinch on my breast.
"You like that, right? I promise I'll make you feel really good if you give in to me." She said with puppy eyes.
"Okay?" I answered her hesitantly.
She smiled at me in appreciation. Before I could voice my doubts about the whole thing to her, she locked my lips with hers in a passionate kiss. My thoughts flew away from my mind as I felt my body giving in to burning desires that took hold of me. I stopped thinking and I wrapped my hands around her neck, returning her kiss with every fiber of me.
When Vanessa finally raised her head to look at me, I saw how swollen her lips were and I could only imagine that mine were that way too. She stared into my eyes without blinking, she raised one of her fingers to my lips and she began to massage my lips with it.
From my lips, her finger trailed down to my chest down to my belly, all the while her lips kept following after the finger. I felt my body on fire and I began to blow some air out with my mouth to control myself. When her tongue swirled around my belly button, however, I forgot about control and I let out a loud moan.
I held the bedspread tightly and began to turn every which way due to the pleasure. Vanessa stopped what she was doing to me a minute later and I moaned at the loss of her mouth. She got up and began to undress until she was naked while I watched her glorious body in fascination. I looked down at my body and I saw that I was already naked except for my pants which she was already getting rid of.
"You'll love what I do to you." She said in a promise.
She came back to the bed with me but instead of continuing from where she stopped, she lay down on me, her center core directly in my mouth and my pussy directly in her mouth. I blushed when I realized what she wanted us to do together. The shyness I felt didn't stay for a long time as Vanessa's wet mouth landed on my pussy.
"Mmmm..." I moaned into Vanessa's pussy.
I was sure she felt the heat from my mouth fanning her because she moaned in pleasure too. She continued tonguing and sucking every part that made up my vagina while I didn't do a thing. When I felt two fingers in me, I let out a loud cursing sound.
"Fuck!" I shouted.
She began to pump into me while I kept moaning into her pussy. I closed my eyes when another memory of a man doing the same thing sneaked in. I tried to fight it off but it stayed and I lost my enthusiasm in the sex session Vanessa and I were having.
Rather, I focused on the emotions the strange man has evoked in me while we kept at our lovemaking. The memory and the feeling I got were so strong that I cummed without knowing.
"Told you I'll make you enjoy it."
I heard Vanessa say with a happy laugh only a few seconds later and she got up from me but my mind wasn't on her. My thoughts were lost on who the man was that he kept appearing even at such a crucial time.
"Good night," Vanessa said to me.
"Good night," I answered her absentmindedly.
"Who are you? Why do I feel like I cheated on you just now?" I asked into the dark after Vanessa had left.