Chapter hundred and eleven

Dallas

The words burn my tongue like hot coal and I suddenly wished I could take them back. I curled my fist together to stop myself from screaming… I didn't want this. I would never break him like this. But this was the only way. Besides it's just temporarily.

I forced myself to look everywhere but his face. I wouldn't be able to hold myself together if I did.

“It's only for a few days.” I kept repeating to myself, but it did nothing to stop the sorrow building up in me.

“What?” Was all he said after he recovered from his shock.

I made the mistake of looking at his face for a quick second. The colors had been drained from his face and he appear stiff. I had never seen Oliver looked so shocked and devastated in all the time I've known him.

It looked so out of character from his usual cold, indifferent behavior that I would have found it hilarious if I didn't feel the same way. I was just doing a better job at concealing my emotions.

He staggered forward and made to touch me but I dragged my feet back. I couldn't stomach the hurt that flashed across his eyes. It made my heart clench in a very painful way. I felt the sudden urge to throw up and forced myself to continue speaking. I have to.

“You heard me. We should stop seeing–”

“No!” He snapped so quickly that I flinched.

He dipped his hand into his pocket, his expression slowly morphing into the cold behavior I've known him with when I first met him.

“What's ‘no’?” I found myself asking.

It was a stupid question but I had no idea what to say, especially when I don't get what he was saying ‘no’ to.

“I'm saying no. We are not going to stop seeing each other.”

My mouth fell open. He's truly unbelievable.

“I'm asking for a break up, Oliver. You can't say no to that. It's unheard of.”

“Well, now it's not.” He said so casually that I found myself questioning if he was the same Oliver that had looked so startled earlier.

“No, we are not going to break up. No, we're not going to stop seeing each other. And no, to whatever way you phrase the sentence. It's not happening.” He said with finality in his tone as if he was just finalizing a business deal and not our relationship.

Despite his complete caveman behavior, he hadn't made an attempt to close the distance between us. He was respecting my space. I didn't know whether to be grateful or annoyed by that.

“This is … I could file a restraining order against you.”

Jesus, what nonsense was I spewing? I was way too anxious to think properly of my words. This was a mistake. Maybe I shouldn't have done it here. I should have waited till we got home or when the right mood. Or maybe when I had a proper speech prepared in my head.

I knew it was going to be difficult. Even though, I wasn't mentally prepared, I still went for it. But I had never thought it would go this way. But he was Oliver Kang. Nothing was ever the way I thought it would be with him.

“Go ahead. File it. Just know that piece of paper won't keep me away from you. I'm never leaving you, Dallas.”

It shouldn't be possible but I felt butterflies in my stomach at that moment. I should have been terrified because my plan was already going shit before it could properly start. If he keeps acting stubborn like this, then–

I quickly stopped my thoughts from wandering that far. Everything is going to be fine. I'm not going to put him and all our friends in danger. I just have to distance myself from him for a while until I find him.

Everything is going to be fine. I won't accept any other possibility. But what if it isn't? What if I fail?

Panic slowly squeezed my chest, making it hard to breathe.

“You don't understand. We shouldn't be together.” Not at this very moment. It's very risky.

“Is someone threatening you?”

Oliver's face immediately switched to intense anger. It's quite amazing how he's capable of switching his emotions within seconds.

“Is it Ron?” He asked. If he was mad before, he was furious now. I'm not exaggerating but I could literally feel smoke coming out of the pores in his body. He was that mad.

“No!” I yelled immediately.

Manipulating me? Maybe. Probably deceiving me and toying with my feelings? Also very probable. But he wasn't threatening me. At least not directly. If this was dead end, I don't know what I would do.

“Tell me who it is. Right fucking now, Dallas.” he thundered.

I sighed, slowly realizing I had accidentally confirmed his suspicions.

“No one is threatening me.” I said, lowering my voice.

Not yet. I refrained from adding those two words. No one was threatening me yet. But there was someone who poses a threat to us. To all of us. And I wasn't going to let them get hurt.

“Then why should we break up?” His voice softened as he spoke.

My heart split into a million other pieces at the sound of his devastated voice. In that moment, I almost gave up. I almost ran over to him and throw my arms around him. I almost bawled my eyes out then tell him everything. But like I've been doing since this conversation started, I refrained.

I tried to search for a good reason and ended up with the most reasonable one. He wouldn't question it much.

“Because you're engaged. I realize I want my own man. I don't want to share you. I don't want to be the other woman in your life while another woman gets your name and the title of your wife. I can't live through that.”

It was partly true. I couldn't entirely stomach the thought of him belonging to another woman, especially if said woman was manipulating everything. But I wasn't going to leave him because of it.

“Then I'll break off the engagement.” He said without a second thought.

What? I've always knew he would do anything for me, but not that. He's had every chance to break the engagement off, but he hadn't. I never thought he would, and certainly not because of me. I knew how much it meant to him.

“You can't do that.” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

“I can and I will.” He said with finality in his tone.

I couldn't even bring myself to say anything as my mouth hung open.

“If that is going to stop whatever this is. I can't lose you, Dallas. I just can't.”

I could see how much he was forcing himself to remain within arm's length. I was having the same battle with myself and losing terribly.

“It doesn't matter. We're still breaking up.”

Now, I just sounded really cruel and I hated it. I hated myself for it. But it was all going to be worth it. It has to be.

I turned around and start to walk away before I do something like kiss him.

“What if I told you that I love you?”

My feet halted. I couldn't move. Couldn't breathe. I must have been dreaming, because there's no way Oliver just said–

“I love you, Dallas Valencia.”

I turned around swiftly to see him stalking towards me. He stopped an arm's length away, his eyes filled with so many emotions. My breath hitched as I continued to stare at him, unable to look away.

“I love you. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner because I was too stupid trying to convince myself that I didn't, but I've always loved you. Nothing matters to me except you. I don't care about the engagement or what it represents, I only want you. I love you so fucking much.”

Tears streamed down my eyes as I listened to his confession. I've always known about his feelings for me but this is the first time he said it out loud.

I didn't know what to do in that moment except stare. This was supposed to be easy. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He wasn't supposed to confess to me like this. Not when there is an immense danger coming our way.

“Tell me you don't feel the same way about me and I'll let you walk away. I won't chase after you. I won't call you. I won't ask you to stay with me. I'll let you go. I'll give you what you asked for.”

I couldn't bring myself to say it. I would be lying to myself and him. I love him more than anything in the world, and it's because of that love I have to do this. I have to let go. He has to let me go.

Without a word, I turned around and walked away. I fought back the tears that threatened to fall from my eyes. This would all be worth it. It has to be.
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“You did the right thing, Dallas. You're a good person.” Ron Jang said as I approached him. He was leaning against his car, a cigarette stick between his lips.

“Yay me!” I said sarcastically. That was the only thing I could do to stop myself from breaking down.

The walk from the parking lot to the alley where Ron asked me to meet up with him was surprisingly longer. I fought every nerve in me that screams at me to turn back and run to the man Iove. The man who just said he loves me too. I had won the battle.

“We should go. My men spotted him some place downtown.”

I nodded and got into his car. A decision that landed me in this predicament few hours ago. Ron entered the driver's side.

I don't even know why I decided to trust this man. He could be lying to me so I could break up with Oliver.

“Why are you helping me?”

A smile touched his lips and he turned to me, the moonlight reflected on his green eyes.

“I thought you knew the answer to that question already.”

I turned my face away and swallowed passed the lump in my throat. I suspected it since the first time I saw him. That's why he had looked so familiar. And he just gave me the confirmation I needed.

Just because I know doesn't mean I'll accept it. Or him. He was four years late.