Felt awkward

Zakuski POV
When she said that to me, I had to take a deep breath to calm my nerves, I have never felt so frustrated in my life, I wanted to ask her several questions, but I couldn't voice out a single word, I was looking at her, as she uttered those words, but my heart clenched when I heard her said all that.
I recalled when she had taken care of me, I thought that she cared, I never knew she did all that out of empathy, I felt so frustrated, my heart was beating faster than normal and I needed something to calm my nerves, I felt the need to voice out something, anything, but nothing was brave enough to escape my lips.
I almost shed a tear when I noticed that she was running, trying to chase my rival, which is no other than Adrian.
I know was right, because Adrian was the one who did help her survive when I was not there, but still that won't warranty anything. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't. I felt my heart beating so fast and it made me feel like things won't just be the same for me again.
I then let out a sigh as I disappeared then appeared in my room, before I succumbed to the bed, I then recalled how her lips felt so soft against mine, her lips made me feel that unknown connection towards her, I craved more of her touch, wanting to feel more of her and wanting to be with her for a longer period. I gulped hard while trying to calm my nerves, I felt my body felt weak and then I heard the sounds of footsteps.
I let out a sigh, hoping to calm my nerves for a moment and trying to forget about everything, but then I recalled how I wanted more from her, how I felt the need to tell her how I feel at the moment, but nothing was brave enough to escape my lips.
" What's wrong?" Mariana asked, the Lady who has always been there for me, I know she feels something for me, but I don't feel the same way, I only craved for one person in my life, and is no one else but Garcia.
But then I noticed her eyes opened wide in shock, more like she heard what I just said deep within me.
"What's wrong?" I asked feeling so insecure.
"Nothing I uhm...I rather thought, you are home early" she said, but her gaze was unstable, she was looking at random objects, she was not brave enough to look at me in the eyes.
" Is anything bothering you Mariana?" I asked. She just faked a smile and shook her head vigorously before she attempted to leave.
" Please stop?" I urged her. Then she did, I took the opportunity to stand up as I started walking towards her. She stood there coyly.
I have an unearthly feeling about her and I just don't know what it is. Her face was kept low, so I managed to walk closer towards her before I managed to make her look into my eyes, by uplifting her face with the help of firm palms. She stared at me for a moment, I was feeling so uncomfortable and tears managed to burn my eyes, my heart was beating faster than normal.
I needed something to calm my nerves and help me relax for a moment, but I can't, I felt the need to look away, but her radiant grey eyes were enchanting to look at, and her beautiful brown skin, made me smile, and she's one of the beautiful ladies in this realm, but I just don't know why I want her as much as I wanted Garcia.
Every time I close my eyes, all I think about is her and it's affecting me, making me feel less of myself, I wanted to say something, anything, but nothing was brave enough to escape my lips.
I stared at her feeling restless, then I brought her closer as I dipped my fingers into her brown hair, her lips were so succulent, making me feel a bit too restless to utter even a single word.
I found myself bringing her closer to me, and making her feel even more one with me, I can't help but wonder why I just can't feel the same way. But despite everything, I still managed to bring her closer, I attempted to kiss her, but she stopped me from doing that, I felt so infuriated, I wanted more, I wished for more, but she was denying me of all that and it Infuriated me, it got me even more pissed.
Tears burned my eyes and I wanted to utter a word, but then she hurriedly sealed her lips with mine, which managed to take me by surprise. I felt her soft lips against mine, bringing me closer to her, making me want her even more and craving for her every touch, but then I wished that it was no one else but Garcia, I wished she was the one I was holding, the one I was kissing.
I could smell her dripping juices, and that was when I realized I had to stop before things get out of hand.
" Please we need to stop, I know you want me as much as I want you, but..." I sighed. " We just have to stop," I told her. I noticed the burning tears in her eyes. I noticed the way she clenched her fist so tightly. It hurts me to see her this way, I just wish she was Garcia, but I know my wishes can never be true. I recalled the look on Garcia's face whenever she looked at Adrian and it made me pissed, it makes me mad with rage.
" Please just go" I pleaded with her, then she let out a deep sigh before she managed to look at me in the eyes, I know for a fact that you wanted to make things right, but...I don't..."
" Shhh...I understand, I know for a fact you don't want me, I know you craved someone else's touch, I'm sorry to have come here in the first place" she said, her voice sounding hurt, I felt so guilty.
" Please stop " I urged, but she kept walking, she was not stopping, I felt the need to say something or do something but nothing was brave enough to escape my lips, I refused to allow a single tear escape.
I was feeling so restless and I needed to calm my nerves.
I felt my heart beating so fast and my jaw clenched, at this moment, I hated myself, more than ever. But then I heard a knock on the door, I turned to see who it was, only to notice that it was my father. He seemed a little enraged, even from his expression, but he managed to conceal it.
Then he managed to wall toward me, he was looking at me without batting an eyelid for more than four seconds.
" What is wrong with you my son" he half-yelled.
" Nothing father," I replied.
" Then why are you not giving this lady a chance, the woman that would be best for our kingdom" he yelled. I let out a deep sigh, I can't possibly tell him that I am madly in love with a wolf. God is a wolf of all creatures on this planet earth.
" Nothing Father."
"Don't just tell me nothing, what is happening, because you are not making any move towards a lady, you are not going out to have fun in the brothel as you use to, is more like you are keeping yourself for another woman" he yelled.
" Yes Father" I found myself replying arrogantly. Which was also a surprise to me.
He looked shocked at my reply, I know he's the king, I shouldn't have replied to him that way, but at this moment, I am so frustrated, I don't know what to do, I felt the need to say something or do something at least, but I know it'll yield to nothing, I drew in a deep breath, while trying to calm my nerves.
Then my father slam his hand so hard against the table, he was looking pissed.
" Tell me which tribe is she?" He demanding.
I gulped, I can't tell my father about it, I know he's already more pissed than he already is right now, and I can't help but wonder why things were happening the way they were.
I drew in a deep breath while trying to calm my nerves, my heart was beating so fast and my fist was tightly clenched, at this moment, I rated to admit it, but I don't have a choice, because I have denied Garcia for so long.
Right from the beginning I was not brave enough to stand by her when she needed me the most, now I'm regretting my every action and it's frustrating me.
" I said tell me which clan she belongs to?" My father demanded.
" The landmark pack" I replied.