Chapter 39

I don't know how many weeks have passed and how many weeks have I been avoiding Zarius, in fact he is not really at fault. Me, I'm the only one who assumes that there is an intermediary between the two. When I was at school I diverted my path just so we wouldn't meet, I transferred to another section on a subject with him. I no longer go to the back of the caf, or go out at midnight. Every time he tries to approach me when I'm out of the house, I go in immediately.
Every time Soobin checks up, it's not me who goes but Ivan. I knew he was going to see me.
I only study all day, come home early from school and when I'm vacant, I hang out at a coffee shop outside the school.
And yes I admit that I miss him, a week passed without him teasing or following me. I guess he's tired chasing me. We're not meant for each other.
And for a few weeks, I was with Eian. It's funny because he's jolly and he makes me laugh somehow.
I looked at him because I could feel his piercing looks at me.
He was depressed, put his hand on his chin and looked at me intently.
"Stop staring!" I sighed. When their non -game ended, they lost. And Zarius' team won again. I didn't watch it, because I didn't go in then without anything. Maybe I wasn"t in the mood then.
"You're really nice even if you're serious, next time I'll do it." I threw a tissue at him on the table, and the victim laughed with laughter.
"You're corny!" Then I rolled my eyes at him. He lifted his milktea then sipped on it.
"I have a question." I didn't look up at him, in the few weeks I've been with him, his brain is full of corn.
"Laraya, c'mon!"
"Stop disturbing me, Eian!"
"Tell me what first." He made a naughty promise, it won't really stop.
"What ?!" He smiled foolishly at my answer.
"Why is the red horse intoxicated?" My jaw almost dropped. What the hell?
"Why?"
"Because the strength of the right ..." I blinked when he followed again with another.
"I'm with you ..." I looked at him, but he was serious and there seemed to be no bullet to withdraw.
I smiled and slowly stood up to reach his chin. He seemed pleased with what I did but I went to his ear which I pinched.
"Son of sweet potato! Laraya --- ah! Stop hurting!" Daing nya
"You're so korny! You deserve it!" When I saw that it was red, I let go and sat down.
He rubbed his ear. I feel sorry for you.
"I'm sorry ..." He was still the one who apologized. I just shook my head and continued what I was doing on the laptop.
After we went to Ivan's coffee shop, he took me to my next class. A to is really famous, many are looking at us again.
All the time in that class I did nothing but listen and take down notes on what prof. Next week is the finals exam. The speed of the sun, it's like when the intrams were just midterms but now it's the finals. So I studied more and more.
I wonder if Zarius is still getting into the subject that we are together. Is he okay?
What is he doing?
Can he miss me too?
I changed my sim card so I don't know if he texted or even called.
When class ended, my phone vibrated and Eian texted.
Eian:
Hey, I still have classes so I can't be with you when you're vacant. :(
I typed my reply.
Me:
Its okay, take your time.
When I sent it, I arranged my things and left. I still have 2 hours vacant after just one subject and go home.
When I was walking down the hallway, I would have avoided when I met Zarius' friends, but I didn't go on when I saw that he wasn't there.
Where is he?
"Oyyy barbie!" Zyke smiled when he saw me.
"Hi!" I'm embarrassed to greet you. One of them was carrying a guitar again.
I looked around as if someone was looking.
"No Zarius, Ysla. Absent." Promise of Arkuss.
I blushed.
"I-I didn't ask him ..."
"Looks like you're looking." Even Zyle.
"No."
"But we're also looking for him well and we met you. Were you with him? He's only been to Moon Ground once in the last few weeks." Zyke replied.
I couldn"t help but worry.
Where are you going, Zarius?
"I-I'm not hurting him anymore, Zyke." Then I bowed.
"Its okay, Ysla."
"Ahm I'll be the first." I just said and walked away. I couldn't wait for what they would say.
Did they know that Zarius and I weren't okay? But why are they looking for me?
I went out of school and went for a walk, I just saw a park.
There were also a lot of people, especially those with benches facing the fountain.
I smiled when I saw the kids running. One even stumbled and I helped.
"Hey, careful." I said and even rubbed the girl's knee
"Thank you!" I smiled and then he started running again.
I looked around, then I saw a familiar back sitting on a bench.
What is he doing here?
I came closer to confirm if he was. Then I was right, its Nahla.
She wipes her cheek, is she crying?
Should I take care of him? But feeling close then.
Hays will take care of that.
"Ah, there are two of them, just the one in the cone." I bought ice cream first. Manong smiled and prepared my ice cream.
Then I approached Nahla. I handed one of my ice creams to him. He looked up at the ice cream on my face.
"Here." I said, he took it slowly. There is a trace on her face from crying, but even so, she is still very beautiful.
"Do you mind if I sit here with you?" I pointed next to him.
"Ah no! It's okay, come sit down ..." I smiled and nodded then stood beside him. We were just quiet while eating ice cream.
I want to ask her what her problem is and why she is crying.
Why isn't he with Rene.
"It's okay if I tell you a story right?" I was surprised by what he said.
"They said it's better for you to tell the story to someone you know, for no judgment." If he continues.
"I just watched a movie, we just met but I'm relieved of you. So is it okay, Laraya?" Then she looked at me. I smiled then nodded my head.
"Thank you." I saw that tears were dripping from her sparrows again. We ate the ice cream before he spoke.
"I don't know, Laraya." He started, I was just listening.
"We love each other, but we can't. I don't want to ruin everything just because of our love. Many will be hurt, many will be disappointed. How many times have I wished that he wasn't alone, not me. When I found out, it's like I'm being drenched in boiling water but no matter what I do I won't wake up to the fact that we can't. "
I bit my lip, I could feel the weight he was feeling. But what does he mean that they can't?
"I did everything to lose my feelings for her but I don't want to! I can't, Laraya. I love her so much."
"But I accepted Laraya, when I found out that she was flirting with someone else. I told myself, that's enough for her to forget about me. Even if it hurts, I accepted. That's just right because I was trying to push her. That she can also find. I'm the right man for me. "
She was crying, and I didn't know what to do.
"B-why can't you?" I will ask.
"He's my half brother, Laraya. It would have been okay if we weren't blood relatives but ... We're both from my father which is our dad. Our mother is just different, but even so, I was still accepted wholeheartedly even though I was an illegitimate child. My mother is very smart, even though I'm not her real child, she makes me feel like I'm her real child so I don't want to break her trust in me. "
I was surprised. P-how? Is that really happening? I can not believe.
"It hurts to choose the decision that both of you will be hurt. Whatever I choose between the two I know someone will be hurt."
If only I was in his position. I cant choose.
Nahla and I talked for a long time, and I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. But even so, I was amazed at his resilience. I wanted to say that she would fight for the man she loved, but I thought if I was in her situation I would also give her up just for my family. I treasure my family so much.
And I won"t let that just because of a man I trade my family. I'd never do that.
My whole class is over, and now I'm going to the parking lot where Kuya Maru is waiting for me. Eian also texted me that they have a practice so he can't accompany me, it's okay that he doesn't force me to pick him up.
I texted brother Maru already that I was on my way.
But I was shaking when someone grabbed my arm, and pulled me where it was dark and leaned me against a cold wall.
"Who are you ?!" I was panting dammit!
I can feel the scent of his breath hitting my face. And with his stance, my heart couldn't help but jump for joy. My heart knows who it is.
Fuck. I missed him
"Zarius ..." I whispered, I felt his hand caressed my cheeks slowly
"God Laraya! I missed you! Tangina, you drove me crazy!" His baritone voice filled my ears.
"Almost a month, Laraya! Tangina. How can you do this to me? You're avoiding me! Hi-I don't know what I'm going to do in the last few weeks without you by my side! I almost get crazy without you! I am a fucking mess without you baby, I even watch you from a far, I did that baby cause I respect your decision even though I couldn't find the best answer why you avoid me this past few weeks. You drive me so fucking insane! You make me your fucking stalker! And you make me so damn jealous! Everytime you're with that fucking Tresvalles! " And now he's panting.
What the hell?
I couldn't help but shed my tears.
I just ... Couldn't speak.
"You didn't know, baby. I was with you all the time."
My eyes widened. What?
"I was waiting for you in the park everynight, thought you'd go outside. But it broke me with that thought and expectations."
"Please tell me ... Talk to me ... Why are you avoiding me? Im fucking clueless ..."
I swallowed before answering, even though I didn't see him I could feel the coldness in his eyes.
"I'm clueless too, Zarius. I don't know what you're showing. You kissed me already but you never clarified who's between the two of us. I always overthink because of you! I am damn jealous, and become insecure I'll be there when I come to you. "
She was just silent while I couldn't hold back the tears.
"I don't know, Zarius. When it comes to you I'm feeling a lot less, you're far away from me, and I feel like I'm still not enough for you. That everything you're making me feel is just an illusion, that I'm the only one who feels like this! Do you think you're the only one who's having a hard time? No! Me too! I miss you so much! "
"Shhhh ..."
"So tell me, what are we really? What are you feeling? Have you flirted with someone else?"
He was silent but my nol frowned when he laughed a little.
"Sshhh baby, you dont know how fucking much I want you. Tangina, I taught you knew already."
"What?" I frowned
"Laraya, I am already courting you. Im sorry I didn't ask your permission. I was just afraid you'd reject me. Fuck! And my fool for not saying that, Yslavien. And no, I am not courting someone "It's just you, Laraya Yslavien."
"A-what?"
"So please just believe in me, don't believe other's opinion about me. I'm the only one who knows the truth in my life. I wouldn't kiss you if I didn't like you."
"Let's stop this shit together." My eyes widen.
"Z-zarius, what do you mean ?!"
"Be mine and be my girlfriend already ..."