Chapter 61
After that I had better just go down and go to the back of the house to clean and feed Dash's chickens.
"Since your father is gone, I will feed you first!" I happily said to the chickens. Your grandfather has too many chickens!
I laughed as they crowed one after another as if agreeing with what I had said.
When I was in the middle of feeding them I stopped, just remembering something. I felt my heart, who I really love.
"It's hard to choose between two choices that you know will hurt?" I squatted while watching the chickens eat. I know they won't answer me but this is the only place I can express my feelings.
I'm really confused.
"I don't know if I still love Zar or Dash. It's bigger than my part that I love Dash. But why is it that when Zarius is there, I'm still hurting?" I put my chin on both my knees.
What does Dash get from feeding his chickens? I mean because he feeds every day or hour after hour and then sometimes he stays for a long time. Is he also talking to his chickens?
Hay nako. I just stood up and went back to eating chicken. Before sweeping and cleaning.
It also took me about an hour before I finished, I just stopped when I heard a guitar playing inside the house.
So I let go of the broom and dustpan and slowly went inside and peeked out the window.
"The wheels on the bus go round ---" I laughed when Zari stopped Zarius from playing the guitar. They both sat on the couch while Zarius held a guitar.
"Papa, im not a baby anymore! I dont want that song po!" My son said, Zarius frowned.
"Alright, what do you want me to sing then?" Zari acted like he was thinking. He knelt in front of his dad on the couch.
"I want you to sing any one direction's song po papa!" I saw Zarius eyes widened. Zari really idolizes 1D, she always watches the videos on youtube.
"You don't want our song?" Zar's voice growled
"Its not that po, papa! I watched your video po on youtube, you're singing their song po. After I watched you sing, I always listen to their song cause they are remind mo of you, papa." I covered my mouth at what my son said. Gosh! Our son is only five years old, but why does he think like that? I bit my lip, my conscience was eating me.
"Oh, I didn't know that ..."
"But I knew papa! Hmmm, its you and I!"
"Alright ..." Zarius started strumming his guitar. Little by little I saw his eyes close.
"I figured it out
I figured it out from black and white
Seconds and hours
Maybe they had to take some time. "I had goosebumps again when I heard his voice again! Gosh it never changed!
I tightened my grip on the window as I watched him sing. I saw Zari's lips form a smile while looking at her papa adorably.
"I know how it goes
I know how it goes from wrong and right
Silence and sound
Did they ever hold each other tight
Like us? Did they ever fight
Like us ?. "Zarius open her eyes and look at Zari.
If only I could turn back time, Zar. I will do it so that I will no longer be loved by others. K-if I only knew.
"You and I
We don't want to be like them
We can make it 'til the end
Nothing can come between
You and I
Not even the Gods above
Can separate the two of us
No, nothing can come between
You and I
Oh, you and I. "
"Papa you're so amazing! You sang it well! Your voice is so cold!" Zari said while clapping her hands. Zarius smiled at him. Zarius dropped the guitar and faced Zari.
"Of course, baby ..."
I can see in our son's face that he was happy while with his dad.
"Lets eat? Can you call your mama?" I got up straight and quickly at four o'clock I went back outside and pretended to clean again.
Soon I heard Zari.
"Mama lets eat na po!" I confronted him. Until now, Zari is still wearing smiles on her lips.
"Okay baby ..." I let go of the broom and approached her.
"Why are you so happy? Hmm?"
"Because papa's not going to leave me mama. He told me that." I immediately averted my eyes. Because I can"t say that Zarius is really leaving. I hope he doesn't just depend on my son, if he also leaves.
He is hurting the child too much.
"Mama papa's not going anywhere right? He will never leave us." Zari held my hand. I immediately looked at his little fingers.
"Yes, he's not going anywhere ..." I closed my eyes because I was already lying!
I took his hand and we entered the house together.
"Mama, I told you papa can sing! Unfortunately you didn't hear him! He was good mama!" My son's story. I know, son. Your dad also sang to me then.
"Really? What did he sing?"
"Its you and I!" I laughed when he pointed at me and himself.
I pinched her cheek and together we went to the kitchen. We caught up with Zarius who was already preparing a plate on the table. That's why I put Zari in his chair first and helped Zarius fix it.
"Let me help you." I said, he didn't refuse or answer.
"Papa, did you cook all of these ?!" Zari asked curiously. I am thankful that our son is here to kill the silence.
"Yes baby." Zarius replied. I picked up the cutlery and put them on the table. He sat with me first so I sat where he was opposite me. I couldn't help but look at him. I can really see the joy on her face when she's with Zari.
So why does he have to leave?
You really are a fool Ysla, she already said that!
But what about Zari? I wish I had thought about the lahay first before I got into a situation that would make my son miserable. I hope I thought of his welfare first. But, oh gosh! Stop thinking about that, Ysla!
"Papa, did Lala and Lolo miss me already?" Zari asked in the middle of our meal.
"Of course, do you want to see them?" Zarius asked.
My forehead furrowed when they both looked at me.
"What?" I frowned at the question.
"Mama, can we go to Lala and lolo? I missed them already and kuya Wade and Wayne po. Also Casha and Serenity mama." Zari pouted. I looked at Zarius who was also looking at me so I immediately averted my eyes.
"Of course, when do you want to?"
Immediately his face lit up.
"Yey! Mama I want it for my birthday po. I want to be with my whole family."
"Okay baby, mama will. Do you want to go with papa?"
"Yes but you'll come with us too!" Immediately my eyes widened.
"No son, h-no ---" Zarius immediately interrupted me
"Come with me."
"See mama? Papa wants you to be there, it's my birthday mama!"
"Okay okay ... mama is coming!" I cant help to laugh when Zari clapped her hands again. I looked at Zar who was shaken laughing at what the son had done.
"Mom, hurry up!"
"Son, just wait, mama is tired." I frowned as my son seemed tireless. He and his father decided to take mangoes from the Juarez hacienda.
I looked at Zarius holding the bag full of Zari's clothes incase he was sweating.
"Hello Mang Lito!" My son greets the outgoing worker.
"Oh you're Zari! You're still with your mom ah!"
"Yes, by the way. I want you to meet my dad." He pointed to Zarius who was by his side.
"Oh yes, your father is undeniable! It looks like that!" Mang Lito looked at me as if teasing so I averted my eyes.
"Will you get a mango grandson?" He asked Zari.
"No, papa will be the one to get us!" She proudly said, Zar was just looking at Zari.
"I have a lot of antiques on the tree, I have a stick and that's all you can use."
"Is it okay papa?" Zar touched Zari's cheek.
"Yes, baby."
That's why Mang Lito accompanied us to where the stick was to hand to Zar. Mang Lito first taught him how to use it. Zari and I just sat on the bamboo chair while watching her paoa look like a mango. He's a fast learner. He easily learned the strategy of easily getting mangoes.
"Papa there! Its a big mango!" Zari stood up and approached her dad pointing.
"No stay there baby, you might fall." Zar turned to his son.
"Okay!" Zari said and came back to my side. I'm laughing because he's always cheering on me because you thought he was playing basketball.
"Go papa!" She is still clapping and dancing. That's why I can hear Zarius's little laughs.
"The dance must be great for your dad to get a lot!" Mang Lito said. That's why my son got up from the chair and started dancing so well, I immediately got up to support him.
"Go papa! Go papa!" We just kept laughing while watching my son. Mayat maya din ang ginagawa kong punas sa likod nya dahil pawisan nga pala sya.
"Careful child, you might fall." I winced when his answer was just a thumbs up.
"Mama shouldn't dance, it's just unfair for the child!" I was immediately nervous and my eyes widened at what Mang Lito said. Oh my gosh!
"H-hala no ho! I didn't dance!" While still refusing. I was even more nervous when Zarius stopped and turned to us. Shit!
"Mang Lito was right mama! Join me po plsss !!" It was as if Zari was still pepraying in front of me while forcing me. I can"t look at Zarius at these times because I know he"s looking at me.
"Isn't that right son? Oh, if you just saw Ysla dance at the fiesta, you'll be really amazed!" I just want the earth to eat me from what Mang Lito said. My goodness! He reminded me again! That was one of my embarrassing moments ever!
"M-mang Lito really! I didn't dance!"
"Suss show it to your wife ---"
"I'm not her husband." Zar suddenly groaned. Mang Lito immediately scratched his head.
"Is that so..."
"Mama please! Its for papa too!" I lost my attention to Mang Lito and looked at Zari who was just trying to make me dance. Goodness !!!
My face turned red when Zarius was still moaning as if he really enjoyed it and he knew he would give it to me! My god I dont want to!
"That's going to dance!" Earth eat me! I dong wanna reject Zari but fuck!
"Mama please ..." Zari held my hand. His eyes still twinkled and my weakness. His snout is already pout.
I slowly closed my eyes, especially when Zari started singing. And started dancing.
I don't want to see her reaction! Damn! Even more so when I heard Mang Lito laugh!
"Dat pala di nalang pinilit ..." I heard that Mang Lito.
Even though I was too embarrassed, I just danced and imitated my son. I looked up and saw Zar grin and took the stick again to continue what he was doing.
"What the actual fuck ?!" I stopped dancing when Stacy appeared with Paris.
"Stop dancing, Island! You're making my day worst!" I was taken aback by what the rude Stacy said. The man with her was upset. Wow, gang now lq still? Well, Stacy isn't weak.
"Aunt Stacy come here! Dance with us please!" I couldn"t help but rejoice. I finally have a partner in this embarrassment! Stacy hasn't denied Zari yet!
"No thanks, baby." Zari went down and went to Stacy holding her hand.
"Please! Dance with us!" I just watched Stacy"s reaction seem to be having a hard time. Paris smiled.
"O-okay ..." I stopped laughing because ehem I'm not the only one who looks like a fool when it comes to dancing! A to worse hahaha. He went with Zari and put her next to me. Zarius stopped again and watched us. Mang Lito always commented on our dancing like fools. While the two men are just delicious sand the mouths!
They just keep laughing!
I don"t know what other face I will put on Zarius! Oh my gosh did I really dance in front of him ?! And fuck I was dancing with Stacy! He doesn't dance too! Maybe we looked like a fucking idiot dancing in front of them!
"Mama, eat tonight." After Zarius took a mango, yes Paris helped him. Me and Stacy were staring out of nowhere because of embarrassment! We are now sitting on the grass while the two men are peeling mangoes.
"N-no ..." I still can't look! And I can feel the stare of Zarius! So I don"t want to look any more.
"Bb do you want mango? I can peel it for you." In Paris's tone, he seemed to be teasing Stacy.
"Fuck you." Stacy whispered. Paris chuckled.
"Mom and Aunt Stacy are good at dancing right, dad?" I just want the earth to eat me when my son brings up the shame of both Stacy and me! I wish it was Fairy or Sasza that I danced with before and not Stacy!
"Oh God ..." I hear Stacy murmured.
"Yeah, the was good ..." Paris commented. I saw out of the corner of my eyes that Zarius was only nodding but still looking at me.
Gosh, stoo staring at me!
"Mama, next time I want you to dance again huh? Maybe in my birthday!" My eyes widened at what Zari said!
"That's a good idea, baby!" Stacy seemed encouraged.
"Or can you dance with Aunt Stacy too right?" I laughed when Paris suddenly entered. I saw Stacy's eyes darken.
"Oh right! Tita Stay you'll join us huh? Pretty please ... its my birthday!" Zari knelt in front of Stacy and held her hand. I scolded him, so you thought it was just me!
"O-okay baby ..." Tita Stacy can't say no to Zari!
Until the two men started talking about where the three of us were just eating mangoes accompanied by my son's chatter.
It was five o'clock in the afternoon when we got home.
"Mom, I'm so tired!" We held Zari in the same hand as we walked home. I can say we are like a complete family. But in real life we know not, Im engaged.
"Papa tomorrow again huh?" Zari stopped and faced her dad. Zarius picked him up.
"Yes." He kissed my son's cheek at the same time. Zari's head rested on Zarius' shoulder, a sign that he was tired and going to sleep. Zarius and I looked at each other before starting to walk again. Just when we were in front of the house I saw a familiar car so we stopped again.
"Your parents are here?" He also seems to have recognized the vehicle.
"Sure." I answered and we walked in again. As we entered the gate I peeked at Zari who was already asleep. He was really tired.
"Zari apo ---" mommy's words were cut short when she saw us. And his eyes widened even more when he saw Zarius who was my son.
"Laraya." I looked at Dad with his jaws tight as he looked at Zarius.
"Good evening." I heard Zarius.
My parents didn't respond to Zar's greeting, and I couldn't help but feel hurt.
"I'll just take my son to the room and I'll go home." Zar said again, he even managed to hide my parents and climbed Zari. We just followed him with our eyes.
When Zar disappeared from our sight, Daddy spoke.
"Laraya Yslavien, what's the meaning of this?" My father's tone was undeniably angry.
"Ysla son ..." said mommy.
"Are you two back together? After what he have done to you ?! Laraya for goodness' sake!" Daddy sighed.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked weakly as I looked at them. Both of them still furrowed their eyebrows not knowing what I was saying.
"What are you talking about?"
"Dad, don't act like nothing happened before. You two know ..."
"Laraya son, what do you want to convey?"
"Mommy I know you know, I told you before that it was all my fault right? Why did you torture Zarius?" I don't see my father feeling guilty for what he did before. Why does he still seem angry?
"So you knew? Did that Walterson poison your mind again? Laraya? Its his fucking fault why Ivan was comatose for almost two months!" Shout out.
"But you don't have to put him on jail dad, you know what he's going through ..." my tears flowed again.
"So what after you knew everything, you're two got back together?" I couldn"t help but stare at what my dad said.
"Dad ..."
"Think about it Laraya, not because you know the truth will change your mind. I want all the best for you cause you're my daughter. I'm a lawyer, and you know my job is to side with the truth. I don't Zarius was imprisoned just because I was angry with him, he was imprisoned because that's the right thing to do. " Daddy's voice calmed down. As I cried I sat down on the sofa.
Mommy immediately joined me and held my hand.
"Son, think hard. You're engaged right?" I looked up at him. How did he know?
"I saw your ring finger, and before Dash take your hand he asked my permission first." My forehead wrinkled.
Dad sat next to mommy.
"Son, think about what will be good for you and your child. Don't hurt yourself anymore. Don't lock yourself in a situation where you're having a hard time." Ani is daddy.
"Follow your heart, we know that sometimes our heart's decision is wrong. But the heart knows what is better." I looked at mommy.
"B-but I love Dash ..." I bowed.
"Because that's what your mind says, we know that he's not what your heart is screaming for. Son, remember when you choose that decision, you know that your conscience won't silence you for the rest of your life. Think of Zari."
"But I don't want to hurt Dash, and I know I love him."
"But you don't want to hurt Zarius either, and you still love him. You're just afraid to admit it, and you're just trying to seal in your brain that you love Dash because you just don't want to hurt him because of the amount of help. that he did to you. " My heart hurt, I feel exactly what mommy told me that's how I feel.
We fell silent when Zarius suddenly came down. I stood up to think that he heard us?
I saw them stand up too mommy.
"Are you leaving son?" Mommy asked so she stopped and faced us.
"Yes." He replied, I just looked at his face without reaction.
"Be careful going home." Dad said, Zar just hugged them and walked straight. I turned to them first.
"I'll just deliver him." They both nodded so I ran to chase Zar.
"Ahm be careful ..." I said when he was about to open the door of his car.
"Thanks." He just answered and would have boarded when I spoke.
"S-sandals!"
His thick eyebrows furrowed and he looked at me, so I looked away because I could feel the speed of my heart beating again.
"What is it?"
"B-are you coming back tomorrow?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Ahm, p-we're going to Talon Falls tomorrow morning. Lani and Stacy are with us. B-maybe you want to come? It's Scylla's mommy's birthday because Zari's friend is our neighbor." I wanted to slap myself for the length of what I said.
"Sure, what time?" My swelling immediately flashed at the thought that he was coming.
"Alas six." I answered and smiled.
"Alraight. I gotta go ..." he didn't wait for me to say when he got into his car and immediately started the car and left. I frowned as he drove away.
When I was walking into the house I just forgot to contacin Dash! Oh my Gosh! That's why I walked into the house. When I come in, they don't have daddy in the living room, maybe they will sleep here.
I immediately went up to the room to pick up my phone and check if Dash had any messages for me.
When I entered the room I immediately picked up the phone that was sitting on the bedside table.
But I was disappointed when I didn"t see a single text or call from him. Did he also forget to greet me today? Did he enjoy being with Alon and forget about Zari and me?
Last night was our last conversation. That we didn't talk much because he was supposedly tired. I don't want to think badly because that's not how I met Dash.
I opened my facebook and immediately a post from a popular network popped up. Picture of Moonstone.
With caption. "Zarius quit the band, and the actor finally left the industry. What could have happened?" There was an article posted but I just didn't open it because I knew others were lying.
Next is Diana Sandoval, I really admired this actress so I will follow her because she is so beautiful. All I know is that he was linked to Chaos before, the love team even made him. But I don't know what is the reason behind and Shaina and Chaos stayed together, in fact Diana and I have a huge chemistry between the two of them.
In the third post I was nervous, if I should believe? Isn't that true? Alon's post, and they both had so much fun.
'I will always choose you over everything.'
What's in the caption? Picture of the two of them with Dash on the bridge, Dash was still hugging him and he was the only one smiling. Even if Dash isn't smiling, you can see in his eyes that he wants to. As if they were feeling something for each other.
What's up? Did I think he was avoiding Alon? Why are they together? Is that why he doesn't minessage me all day because they're together?
Why do I feel pain? I feel betrayed gosh ... not Ysla, it's okay to think like that! Dash loves you and you trust him. I opened my messenger and picked him up. I saw him online three hours ago.
Me:
Hey, sorry just now chatting. How are you? Have you eaten? I missed you ...
I also tried to call him but no one answered. Maybe he's busy. I was about to put down my phone when it vibrated. I was excited when I saw Dash.
Dashiel:
Sorry, I got busy. Lets talk tomorrow.
I didn't reply and just watched his chat. Why was I feeling cold when he said that? Why does it feels so different? Not even imissyou.
I heaved a sigh and went to the closet to find a place to sleep and take a shower. I won't think of anything first, because I trust Dash.
After showering and getting dressed, I dried my hair. While drying I wipe my hair with a towel. I guess here first I will sleep in the room, because my parents are next to Zari.
I was making my bed when my phone vibrated. I took it. My eyes widened when I saw Zarius texting!
Oh gosh, why am I nervous? Just text Ysla!
I slowly picked up my phone to check his text.
Zarius:
Still up?
My forehead furrowed, was he just the wrong send? He didn't text me just now. I was quick to type a reply.
Me:
Wrong send?
I'll just hang up the phone as soon as he replies.
Zarius:
Nope, its for you. Btw, why are you still awake?
I bit my lower lip. Gosh Ysla! Shut up like a fool who is thrilled! You have a child!
Me:
I got shower, and Im ready to sleep. Hbu? You're not asleep yet.
Zarius:
Yes, I just got home. Then I thought of texting you to remind you that Im home already.
I sat up in bed, I hadn"t even finished fixing it.
Me:
Ah okay, I know you're going to sleep?
I pinched my forehead, your toying ysla! You really thought you had! That's enough anv to reply to him!
Zarius:
Nope, I still want to talk to you.
I should stop replying but I can't find myself just hanging up the phone and not replying. Instead I found myself texting him back. It's like we're teenagers who have late night talks. I'm also like a stump that is thrilled without knowing it.
I forgot in my mind what Dash did when Zarius and I were talking. I'm even glad that he sent a voice message singing. He used to sing me a song before I go to sleep,
Until he called and I quickly answered. His bosee is still handsome even on the phone.
I don"t even feel awkwardness between the two of us. Of course! Talk on the phone!
I don't know but it took us early in the morning to talk, if he hadn't told me to go to sleep I wouldn't have gone to sleep. I can't even remember what we talked about and lasted like that.
As far as I know I'm happy to talk to him.