Chapter 31 Clarification

"I insist, you're lazy," he said laughing then took the towel and went behind me.
It gently rubbed it and sometimes even blew. Since there is no school, I will try to go to town, not because I am with him, but because I can talk to them again, uncle. During holidays others visit their families, while the elderly couple is with their grandchildren who also visit. So we were the only ones left by Zeke.
I couldn't help but doubt his actions and think badly of him especially since he was a man, but every time I stared at him it seemed like there was nothing wrong, it was really in his blood that he was a man and that he could get close to me. My colleagues will be gone for a week, so Zeke and I will be here for a week. When it was over we decided to go out. We each brought a bagpack because we also had things to buy. It was easy for us to walk and travel because we were just used to it. If Zeke were to walk, the roads and detours would be too small for his, he would never leave here as if he had no family in Manila.
I did not ask if he was allowed or if he would still go home. There s something about me that doesn t want to ask those things, "Come here, don't look at my ass." He dragged me when we got to the flat road.
We were right on the road where the driver had dropped me off at school. There were people looking at us but it just seemed normal, Zeke held my hand tightly and gently rubbed his thumb there. I just got used to what he does because that's how he really is, I just think that everything is normal because I don't want to mess up my brain again, with the amount of questions. There are so many people and some of them look like tourists because of the Mayon volcano that is also near us. I was slightly stopped when a woman suddenly kissed Zeke on the cheek, and laughing passed us.
For some unknown reason, my hand automatically separated from Zeke's, so that I could tweak the woman when he grabbed me again. "Don't, it's just envy of us," he said softly looking at the woman but also glanced at me immediately.
"Are you jealous?" its smiling question that bothered me.
"Are you stupid?"
Improving, ah," he said laughing then pulled me again to walk.
I just let him do what he was doing to me, simply hugging, kissing his forehead, squeezing his neck, and flicking his finger. He still doesn't do anything I don't like even when we're in the same house. I know how Aunt Ezra and Uncle Matt raised them, I have nothing to fear. I'm just quiet and I don't want anyone to say what because I still can't get my brain out of what happened before, it's like trauma, I'm suddenly dazed by something like that, I don't know if I've started to feel like this since I kissed here in the Philippines after receiving treatment abroad. Especially since I didn't expect that when I come back, that's how it will open up to me.
We stopped at a big store where a lot of people were queuing up, fortunately and it saw only a handful of people shopping. The seller is a girl so that's the scenario I'm used to.
"Mom?" smiling it says on the other line and morethe smile widened even more.
I couldn t hear so I had no idea what they were talking about. "You're going to have grandchildren, Mom," he said then winked at me.
I just stared at it because I knew he was just teasing, impossible if he was referring to me because nothing was happening to us. I touched it and signaled to leave for a moment. It was still wrinkled but I couldn't wait for him to answer. Not far from him I immediately found a coconut juice, this is what I drink most often especially when my side often hurts. I was about to turn around when suddenly the drink I was carrying spilled on my chest. But instead of apologizing, the men behind me smiled and just stared at my wet chest so they also overlooked me, especially since I was only wearing thin clothes.
"Fvck," I whispered then they were about to turn their backs when one of them pulled my hand in front of them.
"I'm sorry Miss, ah, do you have a replacement? Do you want to come with us first?" smiling one said staring straight at my body.
"Come on, we'll wipe that—"
"Excuse me? are you being rude? Just saying sorry, you idiots," I whispered at the end.
There were three of them in front of me who looked like they were planning something bad for me based on what they thought, if I was only in Manila, they would have caught me.
"We're just inviting you so you can buy, we're not rude to you, Miss," smiled the man who threw me.
"But that's what it used to be. I'm not a fool to not understand what you're doing, if you're barren, the three of you will plow another woman," I said with a sigh and then ironed my clothes again.
"You know Miss, change your mind. That's the trouble with women, eh, right suspicion, you probably don't have a boyfriend so you're like that," said one on the right and the others laughed even more. my head heated up.
"Why are you deepening everything? Can't you just be sorry—"
"With that kind of woman's behavior? Not anymore, Miss. No one can stand that kind of behavior of yours, if there is any, maybe that man is just putting up with it because someone wants to get you," he said with a smile and then tapped her more sides and left.
I literally couldn't move because of what I heard, it wasn't the first time someone had told me but I admit, that somehow I was hurt by what they said. I just explained it to them what was wrong, but I still made it bad and insulted. Toxic.
I just chose to go back to where Zeke was who was still smiling and didn t seem to notice what had happened, thankfully. I normally went back to where I was standing with my hand covering my chest.
"Then Mom, you— Annika is already here," he said as he turned to me.
But instead of picking up the phone I turned it around causing him to lose his smile and surprise me, it barely looked at my chest which he also quickly avoided and went back to talking. It was only seconds later that he paid immediately and approached me.
"What happened to you? Why are your clothes wet?" he asked then took the bimpo in his bag.
"It's nothing, just stumbled. Aren't we going home yet?" I asked weakly as the bimpo wiped the clothes.
"Let's just wait, I'll just buy what we need, good for one week. Does your foot hurt already?" he asked again as I asked. He didn't seem to notice.
I just keep quiet with our shopping and just agree with what he wants to buy even if I can't eat. I still hear over and over again the words said by the man and other people who also told me no, maybe my behavior is really bad, and everyone around me is just tolerating. Yeah, maybe, because they want to get something.
"Come on? Do you have anything else to buy?" its promise that I just turned away.
"Let's go home," I said then walked ahead.
I ignored his questions because they were just repeated, he seemed to understand me too so I just kept quiet and sometimes told stories even though I didn't answer. When we got home he immediately turned on the gas stoves outside the house and the flashlight was inside. Since it was night we were straight he cooked well. I took care of myself because I was getting sticky. I just wore a thick top and pajamas then went out.
"Where's that?" I look for the comb that is always in the closet.
But quickly someone combed my hair from behind, the speed he moved. "Did something happen? Talk to me, you were quiet before, eh, is that the woman?" it whispered while still combing.
"No. I'm just not in the mood," I replied.
Nothing really.
"You are not angry with me?"
"Why would I be angry?" Instead of answering, he just pulled me out of the house and made me sit under a tree where there was a hammock.
I noticed what it was cooking that looked like it was still waiting to be cooked. "What is this, Zeke?" I asked.
I could clearly see that he laughed and then put the necklace on me which I didn't know where he found. "Wear that, so that when we don't have any money, we can pawn something," he said with a wink and I couldn't help but smile.
He approached me then again hugged me from the side and placed his chin on my shoulder.
"I know someone is bothering you, your quiet e. Whatever it is, don't think about it if it's going to be with you," he simply said then blew my hair in my ear.
I just looked at the wide paddy field as if the sky and the trees were connected at the end.
"Why are you putting up with my ugly behavior?" I suddenly asked.
I want to be enlightened, after all, this is what bothers me. I don't want him to be offended because in my question, or just want to clear something that come from him. It left my shoulder and also looked shocked at my question, but he also lay down after staring at me.
"I can't stand it, I just really know you and your character. Why? Did someone fight with you?" he asked quickly as I asked.
"Nothing. I'm just wondering. A lot of people say I'm bad."
"It's true," he said laughing. "But because I know you I don't question that, there's a reason why people behavior like that," he said bluntly. "Even though I am, I have a bad temper. I used someone just to forget something that is impossible to forget, you know what I mean, I was afraid then that I might not really have anything to go back to so I used someone else. It was bad me in the eyes of others, including that woman," he said at length as I had even more of an idea of ??who he was referring to.
"How you did it rightwhat did you do wrong?" I asked.
His hug got worse and I couldn't look back at him because his head was pressed against my neck. "I broke up with her."
This time it left lying on me and then staring at the vast paddy field. "Our relationship didn't last that long because I know what I did was wrong, she wants to be free and live peacefully. We're fine now, and she bears her first baby now," he said then looked at me.
Is Fionah pregnant? How come?
"I know you're skeptical, but I'm not the father of that child. Her ex is. See? I look down on hee but I understand her. She wanted to break up with me for a long time but he didn't know how, not until I did it because I don't really feel anything," he said for a long time that I didn't expect him to say.
"W-Why are you telling me that?"
"I don't want to hide anything, especially from you who often overthink. I just want to reduce the things that bother you," he whispered then our eyes met.
"T-Thanks. I admit that I doubt you, you know, you have a past relationship, so I'm hesitant," I admit here that he stared at me even more.
He just shook his head and hugged her again. "How big is your trust issue with me?" its question that I barely laughed at.
"Before I courting with you, I courted with your sisters and uncles," he whispered which made me nervous.
"Excuse me? Courtship, just to get to know each other, nonsense you're doing now," I said smiling.
He squeezed his head even harder and kissed me on the cheek. "I love you," he whispered.
"Why?"
"What, why?" its question leaving lying on my shoulder.
"Why do you love Me?" I asked directly as he nodded.
"Does that need an explanation?"
"I don't know. Is it necessary?" I tease that he shrugs even more.
"Tsk! That's not necessary. It's just like a joke, when I explain, it's not funny anymore."
"So?" I asked then he walked away and left the cradle.
"I don't want to explain why I love you, you might not be able to sleep with that," he said laughing then went back to what he was cooking you almost smelled like me.
I just shook my head and then fell silent again. Somehow, my apprehension disappeared. It s true that he knows me because he knows what s bothering me. But I hope that is enough for me to believe. I hope that s enough to love you, back.