Chapter 61 Epilogue

I once lost, but you came. I was about to close my own book, but you give me a reason to create our story. So I wrote.
"Ma? Let's go! It's about to start!" Gale calls loudly to me, in the bedroom.
Instead of noticing I just took care of myself, practicing the smile I would do this afternoon at seven. I still have an hour to take care of and not rush. It's my day. This is gonna be my memorable birthday. When I was satisfied with wearing my gray jumpsuit and fixing my hair, I went out of the bathroom. My son came up to me lying on the bed while something was being written. It chirps like a bird and later complains.
"Young man," I called.
He looked up and then smiled. His hair is so neat that it still looks messy. He was wearing a white t-shirt and jeans.
"We should go there, we're late." Its snout then handed over the ballpen he had used earlier.
"It's seven o'clock Gale, go downstairs first, go to your grandfather," I ordered but it was still pouty.
"We're late mama," he repeated again until he left the room.
When he got out of the room, I went out but went through the other hallway. I peeked into his room again at the end. Smiling, I looked at the empty bed where Zeke's body was lying. I already accepted what happened to him.
"Zeke, this is it," I whispered then slowly left the room empty and there was no sign of Zeke.
I was in tears not knowing if it was because of what would happen later or because of what happened then. I almost imagined myself way back four years. I never thought I would reach this far. When I got down to the living room, my uncle and I were smiling and watching me.
"Don't try to come. Only Gale can," I said with a laugh.
"It's your birthday, we'll give it to you," said papa who winked slightly. We decided to leave the mansion.
Uncle was driving, next to him was Gale who was very talkative, relentlessly talking about his classmates and those they studied with. While I was just in the back and watching how the car overtook things on the road. Observing that I might see his image again even one last time. It was dark all around, even though Gale and I hadn't gotten out of the car I could see a lot of people around, but because uncle turned around no one noticed us.
"Let's just meet later. Enjoy okay? See you later, Author," uncle said goodbye and Gale smiled happily.
Ms. Aya smiling greeted us at the same time as Gale ran up to him. "It's ready, Ma'am. We're just waiting for you," she said as I nodded.
Since we were in the back of an office we still had to wait a few minutes before reaching a wide open space area. A place where football is played that my son often watches. I came out in the very head quarter and opened up to me what I did not expect. Gale jumped for joy, when people shouted not far from us.
Some security guards clasped hands so as not to get close to where my son and Ms. and I were. Aya. What gives us light are the lamppostsbut that is not the reason for not seeing the beauty of the sky, the stars. And then he was one of those stars.
"Ms. Author!"
"Omg! Ms. Annika!"
"Your baby is cute!" Individual shouts enveloped the whispered area.
Even open space repeatedly resonates with me calling my name. And it's feel good to attend my first ever booksigning.
Others helped me to sit in the chair while the one on the not-stretched table was full of my books that I didn't know what they were because of the volume. Gale and I looked at each other holding my ballpen to be used and then he moved the chair closer to me.
"Goodluck Ma. I'm just here, watching you as you sign a lot of your own book," he said nervously pinching my cheek.
"And what will you do after I sign it?"
"I will kiss them. And that's my freebies," he whispered then laughed while focusing the light on me.
This is it, Zeke. I still remembered what you told me before. Even without you, your son is here, beside me. I never heard what the emcee said, I just saw the people lined up in front of me, smiling and waving a young woman while holding three books.
"What's your name?" Gale asked to my surprise.
"Oh my god! Ahm, I'm Abi, y-you've been my fan as in for a long time, Omg! Thank you so much!" jumping it says while signing the book. Smiling I closed the book and freely returned it to him.
"Thank you Abi, for trusting me, I want you to know that you are part of my journey," I said happily as her eyes widened and she pouted slightly at me.
"Thank you so much!" she said with a bow and then the security helped him to leave in front of me after taking a picture.
Those activities continued. I could barely feel the tingling of my hand as my son was obviously not tired of talking to the people at the front of the line. I have been in the chair for a few hours, while Gale once went with Ms. Aya to take a nap or eat.
I don't feel tired. I was able to stay awake just to fix my manuscripts that had been re-rejected several times. Yes, I rejected for almost 100 times. It was inevitable to ask myself if writing was really for me. As I write what-what I am already here. I just don't have the guts anymore because I've been through it before, from time to time deleting and adding scenario to each chapter. I can't stop because it's already, signing books I thought were just letters. I will never doubt myself because I can do it. I can fulfill my dream that I just whisper in the air.
My eyes were wet and it was as if the cycle around me was slowing down. Gale slowly left kissing my forehead but this time a different figure was in front of me. It was holding my cheek and smiling staring at my face. He was wearing the white polo he had used before the accident, the day he said he would take me home.
"You did a great job Annika, my wife. You did well and I saw that. I'm glad you went through everything without me. You managed to have me without you. The bravest woman I have ever known and loved, you did well. I'm sorry for not being able to keep my promises to you before. Forgive me if I left you alone at all. Forgive me. I love you so much, Annika. I will be forever proud of you."
My eyes could no longer stop all the tears I had accumulated. Once again I felt homesick. I just closed my eyes when Zeke kissed me on the forehead again as she does. But when I woke up it was dark all around, the light on the poles disappeared but I heard the screams of the people.
"Ma? Look! Wishing lanterns!" my son's cry pointing to the little objects in the sky that are already spreading across the sky.
I felt my cheek get wet. I actually saw him. But he is not here. Am I just dreaming?
"Don't cry mama, papa will be sad if he sees you." I smiled then stroked my son's head.
I kissed it lightly on the forehead and then hugged it in the middle of the dark but bright sky. "I already saw him. And he's happy now."