Chapter 33 Going back

I helped Zeke pack his things, if I hadn't asked him, he wouldn't have said now that he was leaving. I didn t know he talked to the Chairman just to allow him to come here, so I couldn t help but wonder then.
"Because I only had a three-month grace period, so I accepted," he added while removing the clothes from the hanger.
I just listen to what he says while helping him. I admit that I was a little sad and amazed because of what he did. It's also funny because he temporarily left his job just to come here, just to accompany and take care of me.
"Maybe I can't deliver you anymore," I said sparingly as I stood up and so did he.
It smiled at me and squeezed my cheek. "It's okay. I also don't want to send you. I'll just wait for you in Manila, then I'll marry you right away," he muttered and then pinched my nose.
"All right, let's go." I still support it but he just hugged me, I like what he does.
I really want. I just felt his intense kiss on my cheek and lying on my shoulder. "Take care of yourself, there's no Zeke next to you. At night, close everything including the windows, I'll leave the electric fan here, I bought a lot of batteries. Don't soak too much in cold water especially pick you up. Wear thick clothes, always drink water ..." it reminded me of the things I should do that he often reminds and does.
I just nodded as he looked up. "Then don't forget how much I love you," he whispered and sincerely kissed my forehead.
"Yes, Mr. Engineer," I whispered as he smiled.
He left me and then carried a bagpack, only clothes and some of his valuables. After we left, there were also others who said goodbye to Zeke, especially to the old couple.
"Grandma, take care of my wife, I'm going to marry her," he said to the two old men who still laughed.
"I've always thought that girl was really your wife, don't worry, I'll be waiting for your child," she said, making the others laugh even more and Zeke smiled.
"I'm leaving, maybe I'll just visit here when my wife's work is done, I'll let our children visit here," he said with a smile that I just asked.
Somehow, I like what I hear. Not until it turned to me and then repeated the words I thought were normal. "I'm leaving. I'll be waiting for you," he said smiling then turned his back on me.
I was no longer able to wave or even say goodbye. As long as I know I'm alone again. I thought he would just stay here. I no longer bothered to talk to my other colleagues and just excused myself that I had more records to make. I could barely move and felt like I was just floating in the air because nothing was entering my brain. It's just funny because then I really wanted him to leave but now it doesn't seem like that anymore.
Why is my speed getting used to something?
What I should have been lying down, was the moderate force of the knock on the door, at that moment I knew immediately who it was. I slowly opened the door and smiledmom looked at me as I entered as well. It was as if he had only just been here because of the way it looked around the house.
"Is this still my house? It's very simple and very beautiful," she said with a smile as I nodded.
"I just brought a curtain." Grandma gently pulled me toward the open door, there was a long chair that fit four people that Zeke had bought himself.
In this situation, I knew she would talk to me. She gently stroked my long hair and then combed it with her fingers. "That man loves you so much, if you are treated like gold that no one can get," she whispered accompanied by the gentle breeze from outside the window.
"I was amazed at that man, left work and talked to your chairman just to be with you even for a moment. That young man never thought it was dangerous here at night especially since he didn't know the way, I haven't also forget the way he looks at you. If I just go back to my virginity then, it's just so sweet to feel that you're just being courted and that you're already married," she told a long story with a weak laugh.
I don t know why I feel the way mom feels, there s something connecting the two of us. I also can't blame my mother for why I'm only now discovering Zeke's behavior, they often talk and sometimes they even walk away so I don't hear what they say.
"I'm obsessed with a man who has a plan for life right away. I'm obsessed with that Zeke, life is already planned, and you're with him. I hope you're like that too, even if he's not the man you see you can be with, he hopes you find yourself," he whispered then confronted me.
It was holding a comb with some familiar name engraved on it. Her old age, her wrinkled skin but pitch black hair, deep eyes and a small but pointed nose were evident in her appearance.
"My husband Rogelio, one of my ardent lovers back then. Many tried, who wouldn't like American men back then? But Rogelio still stood out because of his courage and determination, so I didn't hesitate to choose him," was its long statement that I couldn't help but smile.
She was just like one of my aunts who told stories about the courtship of their wives when they were young. I don t understand, they just like men and have a word and will accept them wholeheartedly, no matter how dirty its past.
"Grandma? How do you know if you already love someone? How can it be said that you will last? Is there any basis to say that he is not really the person I am looking for?" I will be bombarded with questions I want to know.
Questions that I can't ask uncle because I know what he went through during their time. The old man took a deep breath and looked out the window where the large coconut trees were. Its breathing is light accompanied by the weak rhythm of the wind.
"All the answer to your question, is up to you, Annika. If you feel like you don't want to lose him next to you, or that that person has the ability to make you happy that no one else can, that's probably answer. It depends on the two lovers how you strengthen the relationship, he cannot always be the one to speak, it should just be balanced. And one more thing, there is no basis for you to say that he is the man you will be with forever, but that depends on you. There is love because there is only a line, there is a limit, it seems, no matter how much you love each other if the world doesn't want you, you lose, your heart loses that there is no sin but to love." At the same time she uttered those words was the softening of my heart and knees, even as we sat I felt like I would fall into my chair.
I don t know why I was affected by the last thing he said. Love with a limit. Did I think there was no end when love prevailed?
"If you feel the same way, why don't you go around anymore, a person's life is short, not everyone is lucky to be with the people they dream of being with for a long time until their last breath," she said figuratively.
My heart pounded.
"I'm going to cook dinner, come out later daughter." I just nodded and watched her close the door until I was left behind again.
As I feel myself my heart is racing, I don t have any negative thoughts about him, but there s something wrong that I don t know what. As I surveyed the entire house I accidentally caught sight of a familiar envelope stuck to our photo in the closet.
Surprisingly, I approached it and I was not mistaken, an envelope that he had been denying me for almost a year, which he thought I had not read. Smiling I fanned it in my face and sat on my bed, I couldn t help but grin every time I remembered the days he took the envelope from me from work, but it was actually a letter of confession. He wrote this last year, in my birthday.
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Happy 26th birthday Annik, Niks, Ma'am, Author and My wife— if you will. I know, you'll say cringe again, but it doesn't matter. I guess, it is my birthday gift to you or should I say confession. It's your fault why I don't want to admit personally, I'm not afraid of being rejected, I'm just ashamed. I'm not used to it, so if you notice I'm still trying hard to be sweet, that's it. But yeah, seriously, I wanted you, but then, I chose to do it in a way that I didn't know would hurt people's feelings, that I would hurt myself as well. I just want to say that, if you let me flirt, it's like we don't know each other.
I asked permission to your uncle, he said I'll take care of it but I'll think about it. I would have done it before, in case I was really embarrassed, you feel like you're going to laugh at me, and maybe you can also tell me about my past with what I'm ready to tell you just so you don't have any doubts. I don't know if it's a confession, love letter or birthday letter, I'm sorry, this is the only way to pretend to talk to you, stay away from me, I don't know if I've done anything wrong, why are you avoiding me.
Give me a chance Annika. I will not promise, because I have promised once before and I know in myself that I also broke. Give me a chance and I will do my best. I don't like this, it's hard, I really want to approach youyou are exhausting. I m sure of how I feel. But I'm afraid to tell you and I don't know how. I don't want to ruin our connection with each other even more if you read this.
I'm sorry if it's cringe, because daddy told me to just write what's in my heart, so here it is. I just want you to be happy, don t think you re alone Niks, I m ready to accompany you and be a shadow all the time. Enjoy your day!
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