Paranoia

~Ashina's POV~
After saying those words to Estel, I cared less about what followed. I didn't care, I just wanted her out of my sight without saying anything. I was convinced that she must be the one that Lobo was sleeping with and I didn't want to have anything to do with her.
"What are you waiting for? I said leave!" I yelled without looking at her.
"Please, I can't leave. You need me to take care of you." She responded.
"And why would I need you to do that? I did things myself before you." I replied.
"I understand, but you're pregnant, you definitely need a familiar helping hand. Plis, I do not think it would be wise for you to get someone new to be your maid. The person would have to learn your likes and dislikes which means it would take a while. Please, reconsider your decision." She pleaded.
I wasn't in the mood for her whining and she seemed to be doing a lot of them at the moment which wasn't pleasant to me. I felt irritated and as my eyes remained on hers, all I could think about was how Lobo would molest me and then go frolic with her.
I felt terribly bad but the farther I drifted into my thoughts about the situation of my life, the more Estel's voice sounded like a distant echo.
"Stop whining Estel, leave my room!" I yelled again but she still wouldn't budge
"I can't, I can't even leave you here right now. I love serving you and I'd rather not serve anyone else." She insisted.
I massaged my temple in frustration as it took everything in me to not claw her face at her act of innocence.
"You sleep with lobo and come serve me like you care. How am I not sure that you will poison me one day? I cannot trust you, I hate you and I never want to see you again." I said to her in a very harsh time.
Estel broke into uncontrollable tears and I wondered why she kept dramatizing in front of me. Before I realized it, she fell to her knees and with her face still soaked with tears, She spoke to me. "I swear on everything i love, i would never do that to you. Please, believe me." She pleaded endlessly.
"Get out!" I yelled angrily.
"I totally understand how furious you are and you have every right to him, most especially because of how alpha lobo treats you. I promise you, i do not have a sexual relationship with him." She said convincingly.
I felt a little bit bad when I saw how honest and sincere she looked. Being paranoid made me accuse her of something terrible, even though I wasn't sure if she was guilty of it.
"Fine, i hear you." I said to her in a low tone.
"Do you mean I can still be your maid? An you believe that i am not lying to you?" She asked with relief laced on her voice.
"Don't get too excited, I haven't decided yet " I replied to her and dismissed her immediately.
I just needed to be alone at the moment because I was unsure what exactly I was thinking.
My mind was a mess and my thoughts jumbled up. Making it quite difficult to know what to think at the moment.
I slumked back on the bed and had my eyes fixed on the ceiling, thinking abut jow I was going to figure out who lobo was fucking behind my back. I took it upon myself to find out who it was and stop getting continuously fooled.
With a deep breath, I closed my eyes, hoping to fall asleep and take a break from my misery called life. I instantly opened my eyes when I heard the creak of my door. I turned my eyes slowly to see who was coming into the room.
My heart skipped a beat when i saw lobo walking in. I sat up on the bed and used my hand to support my sitting posture on the bed as I patiently waited for him to speak. I was expecting anything pleasant from him because i was used to his mistreatment and anything apart from that would be a miracle that I never thought exist.
"Hey," He said to me after shutting the door behind him and then threw an envelope with a broken seal at me. My eyes darted from the envelope to him before I picked it up to read.
I picked up the envelope and inside, I found a letter handwritten. Who writes handwritten letters these days? I soliloquized.
After reading the content of the letter, I looked up and fixed my gaze on him as I waited for him to talk so that I would understand the reason why he gave it to me to read.
"Get dressed, we'll be going to that function together." He instructed and i didnt realize when I scoffed at what he said. "You've got something to say?" He asked me with a frown etched on his face.
"No," I replied
"Then get up and get ready" He snapped.
"I don't want to, I am not feeling well." I replied adamantly.
I really didn't want to leave the house, everything about him annoyed me so much and I also didn't feel like faking a smile to pretend like we are the couple of the year.
Knowing Lobo very well and seeing the way his facial expression was hardening, I knew that his anger was intensify but I still wasnt ready t get up from the bed and eventually go out to act kike a smiling mannequin.
In a split second, he gripped me and dragged me out of bed. "Lobo please stop," I begged him but his grip still remained firm.
"Stop?"
"Yes please, I'm pregnant." I replied in a shaky voice.
"You should have thought about that before you disobeyed me. '' He said to me with a cold and hard voice.