Between Desire and Duty

Anisha POV
With his hands wrapped around me, he let me cry for as long as my eyes could take me, occasionally placing a kiss on my forehead, every now and then, till I felt completely at ease.
At that point in time it was safe to say, zeeb was the only person in my life who had acted nice to me, not because of something I had to offer, he never took endlessly from me like the rest of my family, he was totally different from his own brother.
My thoughts flashed back to lobo again, instantly fueling me with hate and anger, so I pulled away, “how do you feel now?” Zeeb asked, I barely gave a response, just cleaned my eyes, then hugged him slightly.
“Thanks for everything”
“You are welcome”
He pulled away gently and then pulled the leash of my horse, I leaned on him before getting on it, he did the same, and together we rode all the way back home, it was already a hectic day, and I barely had a moment of sleep, or peace ever since I left the park, but with everything that had happened, it was certain I didn't owe them anything, I had nothing to leave for except myself, every one of them
Is dead to me.
I sagged on the bed immediately I came close to it, my back aches so bad. I could sleep for years and still wake up feeling this tired.
“You need something to eat, and you need to relax, I will get you something,” Zeeb said as he left the room, for so long I had told him what a good man he was, and how much better be would be for Meera, but now that I gave it another thought, she didn't deserve him, even the thought of having him over there with that selfish sister of mine made my heart ache, I wouldn't want to see him with someone else, it was selfish I know, but, I wanted him for myself, I needed him to keep me sane.
‘If you feel no one loves tour anymore then I am
Dead’
Those were his exact words, it replayed all over in my mind again, he had effortlessly told me how much he loved me, he said it without anyone watching us, unlike lobo, he wasn't saying it so anyone would praise him for loving a woman, he said it because he wanted me to know.
“Here's warm water, and you have some at the back to take your bath, I would prepare something for you to eat” he said, then shoved a glass of water towards me, I took it gently, my eyes not leaving his, he was such a beauty, a man with such features should have as much wolves as possible, he would have so much he would lose count.
For so long I have adored only Lobo, just as it should be, but seeing Zeeb, I could tell he had more delicate and precise features, his jaw was stronger, his eyes were lighter shades of blue, his lips… a slight gasp escaped my lips as I trailed my wanting eyes around his lips, they were full and beautiful.
“Uhm, zeeb” I stuttered, as I gulped a cup of water, My throat ran dry afterward, “ about what you said, about the time we were, uhm, when we uhm” It was harder to say than I thought, for the goddess sake, I wasn't a child anymore, and besides his brother is sleeping with my sister, get hold of yourself Anisha!
"The time we had sex,” I finally said.
“If you are not comfortable, you can hold on till you are, don't let it stress you” he said, his warm and welcoming eyes caressing mine as he pulled my chin up, “ you don't have to feel the same way I do, and if it made you feel uncomfortable—”
“No!, no it didn't” I retorted.
Taking his hands, I stood up so we were closer than before. The feeling was back again. I felt like I could eat him for breakfast and wouldn't have used it for food. That feeling made me want to taste his lips so badly, I felt obsessed just looking at him.
“I wasn't uncomfortable, I just wanted to make sure you felt it,”
“Since the day you stepped into my park, in that red dress, you had a veil over your head, and I could barely see your face till you came out to address the public, I have loved you since you said the first word to me, it never depleted, it grew even more, with each smile, each glance, every time you healed me I felt indebted to you, I have always had eyes for you, no one else”
Tears welled in my eyes again, I pulled him in for a hug, I had no words to say, I thanked him, but it wasn't enough.
“Don’t cry, it's going to be alright, I promise”
“Thank you so much, I wouldn't know what to do if you weren't here,”
“Well, you would be with the goddess,”
“Yes, true” I wiped my eyes.
“I would have been there several times, but somehow you always knew when to come to me with a plate of food”
A tiny outburst of laughter escaped his lips and so did mine, “thank you” I mouthed.
This time in a more cheerful way, I felt more free around him, it wasn't just a Luna to a beta, it was different this time around.
His hands trailed up the neckline, his thumb swept below my eyes, as he cleaned the tear drops plastered on my bruised cheeks.
My body flamed up with delight, it was going to take me everything not to pull him in for a kiss, but I would rather let myself loose in his lips than hold myself any longer. I propelled myself towards his lips.
Slowly and gently placing a kiss on his lips, he glided his hands on my waist, as he leaned down to kiss me, his hands forked my hair, gently caressing my scalp, his lips toyed with mine in the most passionate way.
It was totally different this time, it was gentle like every moment mattered, I didn't want to pull out, I didn't want it to end, I reciprocated his movement by placing my hands around his head and deepening the kiss.
How little passionate moments slowly proceeded into something more canal. He carried me up by my thighs, placing me on his hard-on, my insides welled with hunger, I wanted him so badly, I wanted him to strip me off this cloth, pin me to the bed and have his way with my body, I wanted to scream his name and pool my
Legs with pleasure.
He squeezed my bum with his hard fist a moan escaped my lips, he trailed his wet lips down my neck, hurriedly grazing his teeth on my nape, my wolf jittered with fright, he almost marked me, I didn't want to, or maybe I did.
He carried me over to the bed, his head between my bosoms. He kissed a very exposed corner, then took my nipples into his mouth, my hands pushed his head deeper into my bosom with an insane urge to have him suck me even harder, which he did.
But just amidst the pleasure, I felt transported into another realm, my consciousness was no longer with zeeb, rather it was in the park, precisely lobo room, he was on the floor, his legs were covered in dark smoke, I saw him cry in ways he had never cried, he called out my name in his heart.
My heart clenched with pain, as I tried to help him, but I couldn't, he couldn't see me, tears welled in my eyes again.
“Lobo, what's wrong?” I muttered, and just gained the sudden urge to breathe engulfed my lungs.
“Anisha!, anisha!, wake up” zeeb slapped my cheeks continuously, in an attempt to wake me up, which successfully happened.
“What did you see?” he asked, horror was evident on his face as he awaited my response.
“Lobo, he was crying, he's in danger, he was paralyzed” I said.
He sighed then fell on the floor, “do you need me to go check him”
I gave it a thought, I hated lobo with every fibre in my body, but the goddess showed me this for a reason.
“Yes”.