Personal Guilt

Lobo’s POV

I felt a strange, unsettling sensation as I watched the little boy stand there, helplessly enduring the torment of the bullies. The sight gnawed at me, but what troubled me more was the fact that Amelia had never mentioned this child to me.

My thoughts spiraled back to Estel. Unlike Meera, who had always been loud and open about everything, Estel had kept secrets. I recalled the dark, regretful memory of how I had murdered her—hanging and cutting her while Amelia had been locked in the cell with her.

I had only wanted to prevent Estel from finding out my infidelity with Meera. Now, a deep remorse weighed on me. I was really determined in finding Ashina, silently vowing to treat her better this time, declaring her as my mate.

Feeling really strong willed, I addressed my pack, my voice firm. "Luna is missing. We need to find her. Whoever brings her back will become the new beta of the pack, taking my brother's place." The room was silent, but my eyes were on Zeeb, who stood in the corner. Though Zeeb didn't speak, I had seen him make the promise to the wolves.

I was just very desperate to find Ashina and he did not mind stepping on Zeeb's toe in the process. For me, it was about finding her and winning over Zeeb, but I still wanted to know what it really was for Zeeb.

The weight of my own guilt and the responsibility to my pack bore down on me, but my main aim and focus was clear. To find Ashina and make things right.

I stood there, my heart pounding, as the last echoes of my announcement faded into the air. The pack gathered around me, their eyes expectant, waiting for my next command. But my mind was elsewhere, drawn like a magnet to Zeeb standing stoically in the corner.

I approached him with purpose, trying to maintain the authority in my voice. "Zeeb, you can join the search. Your position as beta is secure if you do."

He looked at me, his gaze piercing through me with an intensity that sent a shiver down my spine. "I'll leave you alone, Lobo," he replied coolly. "You can rule alongside a stranger. Then you'll truly be all alone."

His words hit me like a slap in the face. Anger surged within me, a tempest threatening to break loose. Part of me wanted to lash out, to challenge him right then and there. But I couldn't forget the last time we had a fight, the shame of my defeat burning fresh in my memory. I clenched my fists, fighting the urge to respond, and turned away before I could betray my inner turmoil.

Retreating to my chamber, I slammed the door shut behind me. The weight of Zeeb's words hung heavy in the air, intertwining with the guilt that gnawed at my conscience. Amelia's absence haunted me, worsened now by Zeeb's words.

Before I could gather my thoughts, Meera burst in, her eyes wide with urgency. "Lobo, I'm pregnant," she announced breathlessly. "My parents know, and they're coming to discuss our wedding."

Her words hit me with a force I hadn't expected. I stared at her, trying to comprehend the overbearing emotions crashing over me. The guilt over Ashina, the resentment towards Zeeb, and now this—fatherhood and marriage thrust upon me in the midst of chaos.

The worst part was that I would never marry Meera and the whole thing was beginning to feel like a setup. Maybe it was her plan all along.

I stared at Meera, her announcement still echoing in my mind. Pregnant. She was pregnant, and her parents were coming to arrange our wedding. The weight of it all pressed down on me, and I knew I had to take control of the situation, no matter how difficult it was going to be.

"Meera," I began, my voice strained but steady, "your parents cannot come. No one can know about the pregnancy. Not now."

Her eyes widened in shock and defiance. "What? Lobo, are you serious? They have to know. We have to plan for the future."

I shook my head, feeling the tension knotting in my stomach. "No, Meera. Right now, with everything going on, we can't afford any distractions. If word gets out, it could destabilize the pack even more. Are you just pretending not to know that I am married to your sister?

She took a step closer, her expression hardening. "This isn't just a distraction, Lobo. This is our future. You can't just hide it away because it's inconvenient or because you made me a mistress."

I clenched my fists, trying to maintain my composure. "I'm not hiding it. I'm protecting you. Protecting us. Until I find Ashina and sort things out with Zeeb, bringing your parents here and announcing a pregnancy could cause chaos."

Meera's eyes flashed with anger. "So, what am I supposed to do? Just sit around and pretend nothing's happening? This is my life too, Lobo. You don't get to make all the decisions."

Her words stung, but I knew she was right. Still, I couldn't relent. Not now. "I'm asking you to trust me, Meera. Just for a little while longer. Let me handle this. Please."

She crossed her arms, her jaw set in stubborn defiance. "No, Lobo. I won't keep this a secret. My parents deserve to know, and we need their support. You can't shut me out like this."

The tension between us crackled, an invisible wall neither of us was willing to breach. I realized then that this was going to be a battle, one of many I would have to face. And no matter how much I wanted to keep everything under control, some things were slipping through my grasp.

"Fine," I said finally, my voice heavy with resignation. "But understand this: If things fall apart because of this, it will be on you." I just said that to her to get her off, I had no intentions to do anything serious with her.

Meera's gaze softened slightly, but the determination in her eyes remained. "I can handle that, Lobo. Can you?"