Chapter 30

CARLA
I am such an idiot. One minute saying his d**k was small and another minute begging him to fuck me. My body seems to be deciding everything I do for me now. And here we've had another session of sex. This is my paid job, the main part of the contract. To satisfy his sexual urges.
We both laid on the bed breathing heavily. I stared at the ceiling not minding my nakedness. It is very clear what I feel for this man. But I can't say it out. How do I say it out? He is not that interested in me. He only wants my body, my sexual services.
I looked at him, he had his eyes closed but he's not sleeping. He has such a beautiful innocent face, one would think he's a saint.
I frowned when I remembered he went out with his ex girlfriend. Are they now a thing? He's no longer mad at her?
How I knew?
I followed him when he left the room. I wasn't yet asleep. I just wanted to know where he's going that he can't invite me. He clearly knows that I'm always bored with staying alone in the room. Then I found him meeting up with his ex. That made my blood boil so much. I wanted to strangle him.
Well I want him for myself now. The fact that he's even with that bitch makes things worse. I want him. Badly.
When he came back, I just couldn't hold my anger. I had to pour it out by provoking him, and he ended up dealing with me. His d**k is not small. I just wanted to know what he will say about it.
Now that I've easily caught feelings I'm not supposed to get, I have to be careful around him. I don't want it to surpass this level. I might get hurt in the end, I'll start blaming myself again.
I stayed with him for the rest of the day. We watched movies without talking much or going out. The silence felt awkward, I still prefer our argument to this silence.
•••••
The next day, he surprisingly woke me up and told me to get dressed. I didn't argue with him, I simply took my bath and dressed up waiting for him to speak up. He didn't tell me more, so I asked in curiosity.
"Where are we going?" I asked suspicious.
He was backing me with his phone in his hands.
"On a cruise." He simply replied.
I arched a brow amused, a cruise. Does that mean we'll be going on a boat. Oh wow, that's awesome. But I didn't show my excitement before he starts feeling himself. I kept my happiness to myself.
"Oh... Okay." Was all I said.
He turned and gave me a look that says "Really?"
"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"You don't seem excited to go. Perhaps I should forget it..." He shrugged.
"Oh please get on with the damn thing! Proud peacock." I yelled almost immediately.
He chuckled, "And you acted like you didn't want it. It's hard to understand you girls.".
I frowned, "I'm not a girl Mr. I'm a lady. Get that."
He raised his hands in surrender, "Your wish is my command ma'am."
"Better." I muttered.
I still feel weird that he's doing all of this for me. He has suddenly turned nice and rarely behaves like a drunk jerk. What's going on with him? Is this some sort of plan to play with my emotions then start again?
"Aren't you having a meeting today?" I asked him after a long period of silence.
He scoffed, "What are we? Wizards? It's a business trip and a vacation. Not all days are for that, besides my assistant is around."
The reply is highly savage. I glared at him.
"Let's go or you're gonna bury me with your glares first?" He asked me.
I scoffed and stomped out of the room while he followed me. We got to the boat which is driven by Jayden into the sea. We got to some point and he stopped the boat. I stood outside enjoying the view of the sea, I loved it. This place is somewhere I love to be.
"You said you were bored. So I brought you here to spend some time together. Since it's my obligation." He said coming out.
He did this for me. If we weren't just clients, I would say he's a romantic boyfriend. No wonder that Davina won't leave him alone, he's a gentleman for the people he loves.
Except, I'm not the person he loves?
"Why? I know you're very busy and you shouldn't attach too much importance to me. So why did you bring me here instead of attending your business meetings? I know you have one today."
"Look at you getting all emotional. I am doing this to clear my guilt. You make me feel guilty for keeping you in that room everyday." He laughed, nervously.
Did I say nervous? Why would he be nervous around me?
"You're so sweet... Jerk." I said with full sarcasm.
"Why don't we play a game to pass the time?" He suggested.
"Yeah, finally you sound less snotty."
He smirked, "I'll be back."
He went into the cabin and brought out some table games for us to play. We would glance at each other the whole time, it got fun and I actually laughed a lot. Seeing his smile also warmed my heart.
These feelings were coming again, I quickly got up and backed him.
I can't believe this! Why can't I stop myself from feeling this way? Why do I keep falling in love when I've never done it before? What's so special about him?
"Hey, what's wrong? Are you okay?" He asked calmly.
I didn't look back at him, "It's none of your business."
He turned me around, I did not know he's already behind me.
"What's up with you and the mood swings? A while ago, you were happy and laughing with me. Now you're saying it is none of my business when you suddenly changed? What's your problem?" He snapped at me.
I pushed him by his chest.
"You're my problem! You keep acting all saint and treating me like I'm not your whore. You're playing with my emotions and you think it's okay!" I yelled back.
He shook his head, unable to understand me. I don't understand myself either, I want him to hate me. It will make it easier for me to loose these feelings.
"If you're actually listening to yourself right now, you'll know that you are making no sense." He said with a frown.
"What does it matter to you? I don't want to be too close to you! You're making all these seem like we're in a committed relationship of some sort and I don't want that!"
"What exactly is your problem with commitment?! Why won't you let yourself settle and be with one person? Why cloud your feelings and keep doing this inappropriate job when you can stop it?"
"I can't stop it! You see me as a monster but you men made me this way! You made me who I am today, you don't deserve my loyalty or me spending my life with you. I'd rather keep doing my job even if it's shameful to you. You still decided to hire me, after all you're also after my body."
He stared at me in silence without saying a word. Then he made me sit down, he looks calmer than before.
"Are you going to tell me why you're like this Carla? Why do you hate commitment with men so much that it makes you angry?"
That's a long story. I don't want to talk about it, he won't stop asking me either. Tears clouded my eyes as I remembered my past. This is what I've always been afraid of, to tell someone about it.
"Carla talk to me. Please." He begged this time.
I saw the sincerity in his eyes, so I began.
"It all started when I was born..."