Chapter 41

CARLA
"I'm doing a good cleanup today. Since I'm off at work." Joyce said coming into the living room.
I smiled. "That will be great Joyce. Just know I am not helping out with anything. I am way too tired to work myself out."
She scoffed, "You always say that yet you don't do anything. Lazy ass."
She walked into the kitchen. I checked the time and decided to leave in the next thirty minutes. I want Jayden to become busy at work before leaving the house. For all I know, he could be somewhere trying to watch me. I don't want to him to see me going into the hospital. I also don't want Joyce to suspect anything either.
Jayden is still feeling insecure about me. I don't blame him though, considering the kind of person I am. If only he knows what is bothering me is more than that.
"You said you're going out right? Why don't we go together? I also want to visit the mall." Joyce asked coming back into the living room.
"No, you're still busy and I have to leave in thirty minutes. You do your clean up, I want to also check on Jayden. We may waste your time." I told her.
"On second thought, I don't think I'll go with you today. I wouldn't want to see you and your boyfriend fuck each other. I have seen enough already." She said leaving.
I laughed and faced the television back. Last night, Jayden spent the night here again. And yeah, we might have been too loud. I didn't think Joyce would hear though, but I'm not embarrassed. This is the first time I will let a man spend the night with me in my own apartment. Jayden is the first and last man I will ever let into my house.
Thirty minutes later, I left the apartment. Joyce already started her cleaning then. I took a cab to the big hospital where I had gotten diagnosed and treated before. I was told to come back for more treatment but I ignored them. I felt like life was very unfair to me back then. I wanted to just live till I'm ready to die.
This is the first time I would get so much love from a man, the first time I'll also be this interested in a man. Why don't I try saving my life instead of ending it?
"Welcome Miss Carla." The doctor said as I got into his office.
It's been long I came here. I did not fix an appointment but he let me in because he was also fond of me. His name is Henry, and hell no. I've never fucked him before, he just likes me.
"Hello doctor Henry." I replied taking a seat in front of him.
"You finally decided to come back? Why did you take so long and risk your health?" He asked seriously.
"Nothing. I wasn't feeling life then. But now I do and I want to live. Is there still a chance for me to live?"
He sighed, "I don't really know. I have to check you first."
"Do whatever you have to do." I told him fully determined to go through this time.
He nodded, "As you wish. May I ask what prompted you to make this decision again?"
I shrugged, "Let's say life has finally brought something good my way and I want to live for that reason."
"You made a good choice Miss Carla. It would be such a waste to lose someone as beautiful as you." He smiled widely.
I did all the necessary tests as required before leaving the hospital. It took a few hours, but I am done with it thankfully. The doctor escorted me out when I was ready to leave, I waved at him and left the hospital. While waiting for a cab, an unfamiliar expensive car stopped in front of me. I wanted to move away until I saw the person in the car, my heart skipped a beat. What the heck! How did Jerry find me here?
I haven't worried about him since the fight at the hotel. I did not see him so I thought he may have given up on bothering me. Has he been stalking me?
"Hi Carla. It's so good to see you." He said from the backseat sticking his head out the window.
I frowned, "Tell me you're not stalking me Jerry."
He smiled, "No I wasn't stalking you. I only happened to see you from afar so I asked my driver to stop. I can recognize you from anywhere."
"Okay. You don't need to stop. I'll get a cab, you can go." I told him.
He came down from the car and stood on front of me.
"Do you really hate me this much that you don't want to see my face at all?" He asked looking sad.
I palmed my face. I think I have more to worry about than what he's doing. Making me feel guilty for nothing.
"That's not it Jerry. You know what happened the last time. I do not want that to repeat itself again. As much as Jayden is impatient, I don't think it's fair to push him to the edge."
"As much as you also think like that, I do think it's fair you just shut me out either. I can't stop what I feel for you, it will be so much worse asking me to stay away from you."
"That's by the way. What are you doing here?" He asked looking at the hospital.
"Here to see a friend. I should be going now." I told him.
"Can we have lunch together?"
"Jerry..."
"Please for the last time." He pleaded.
I sighed, "Fine. For the last time, I may not honor this invitation some other time."
He opened the car door for me to get in. I entered, he entered and the car drove off to a fancy restaurant. All this time my mind was on Jayden and what he might be doing now. I hope he doesn't see me with Jerry. I feel stupid and guilty right now, yet I can't help myself. I should do this so Jerry would stop bothering me.
"Are you going to tell me what you went to do there now?" Jerry asked as we sat down waiting for our order.
"I told you before, I went to see a friend." I bluntly told him.
He doesn't look like he still believes me. I don't know why he is being persistent.
"You know you're bad at lying right? Tell me the truth, or don't you consider me a friend anymore?" He insisted.
I should have just declined coming to lunch with him. Now I have to keep giving him explanations that aren't necessary.
"Fine. I went there to check myself. Is that bad?" I replied hoping he would stop asking me questions. I don't want to be impolite to him, he's a nice person. Yet he is being too demanding, and I do not like that.
"No, it's not. You could have just said that. Anyway, it's fine. What are your plans now?"
"What plans?" I asked him.
"With Jayden. Do you plan on spending the rest of your life with him? Or you haven't talked about that yet." He inquired.
I shook my head in disapproval, "That's for me to worry about Jerry. You shouldn't bother yourself with that."
"As stupid as I sound, I can't stop telling you how much I like you and want to be with you Carla. In my honest opinion, he doesn't deserve you."
I sighed, "I don't think we are here so you can convince me to leave Jayden right? Let's drop the topic and not talk about it anymore."
He is making me uncomfortable. Everyone is talking about the future and making me think about things that I don't want to.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't make you feel uncomfortable. Let's have our lunch then." He apologized sincerely.
I sighed in relief. I don't want to continue that conversation any longer. We had lunch in silence. He offered to drop me off at home which I didn't decline, I am too tired to argue. He dropped me off and left. I entered the apartment, the atmosphere was a bit tense. I did not see Joyce in the living room.
"Joyce." I called flopping down the couch.
She did not reply or come out. Is she in the house at all? Maybe she is not back from the mall. I also noticed the house is very clean and well arranged. She must have gone out after cleaning the apartment.
"Where did you go Carla?" I heard her voice behind me making me startled.
I held my chest and frowned at her. Why is she being creepy if she has been in the apartment all along? And why is she asking me where I went like I didn't tell her before?
"What kind of question is that? I told you right?" I replied.
She dropped some files in front of me. More like test results. My eyes widened when I saw what she put in front of me. I took them feeling so uneasy, I looked at her as she had an expression waiting for my explanation.
"Is that what I think it is?" She asked me.
"How did you get this Joyce? I thought we agreed on not going through each other's stuff?" I scolded her.
"This is not the time to scold me Carla. I found out so what? How could you keep such a thing from me? I thought we told each other everything but I was wrong." She said visibly hurt.
It made me feel more guilty, I never wanted her or anyone to find out about this.
"I don't want you to worry yourself or feel pity for me." I replied looking away.
"What? That is the most selfish statement I have ever heard. We treat each other like sisters. Your problem is supposed to be my problem but you're saying otherwise."
"Let go of this topic Joyce. I don't want to talk about it."
I thought I would be able to keep this to myself without telling anyone. I should have known cleaning the whole apartment like Joyce suggested was a bad idea. She must have gone through all my stuff to find the test results.
"I want to know everything. You can't hide anything from me anymore. If you refuse to, then I'll invite Jayden to ask you then." She demanded with a threat.
Jayden can't ever find out about this. He already has enough to deal with. His family, work and most especially his little sister. She has the same problem as me, he's exhausted from that. I don't want anyone to worry about me or make me feel pathetic.
"You can't tell Jayden anything Joyce. Please don't do it." I pleaded with her.
"Then tell me everything Carla. Can't you see I am so worried about you? You are not pathetic, you are my sister. You have kept this to yourself for too long, that only shows how strong you are. But I don't want you to be alone in this, let me support you. Please."
She held my hand, "You can do it Carla. I know you're used to keeping your pain to yourself. I want to share in your pain, please."
"I'm sorry for keeping this from you Joyce. I really didn't want to bother you with this. I know how you care about me and how worried you'd be. I guess nothing can be kept forever." I replied.
She nodded, "I understand you bestie. Trust me, I do. I just want you to trust me the same way and share your problem with me. I am here for you, you are not alone in this."
Joyce is such a sweet person. I am lucky to have her as my friend. I hugged her and finally let my tears flow, I've been keeping this to myself for too long. Finally, I can talk to someone and let my feelings out.