Chapter 45 That's my son

He didn't knew what he was supposed to do. That had been apparent from the beginning. That was what made the choice so difficult. What he was supposed to do and what he would do were not the same. His motive was to use her against his rival, to bring down his enemy, have a grave victory. But his desire, it was distinct, molded and morphed into a harmonious composition of sentiments.
This would have been fine if he were willing to face the inevitable, he had no ways to recover. He once was calculated, but now all he was left with was that small eerie feeling, small yet heavy. Just like the ocean, he was calm and tranquil, but just like ocean he had internal waves deep inside his heart which were howling loud.
He had regularly exhibit signs of emotional dependency on their relationship, with her he felt at ease, including possessiveness when he witnessed Edward forcing her, jealousy when he saw Silvio with her, fear of rejection when he saw recognition in her eyes and anxiety knowing she would never be his.
The functional magnetic resonating sentiments bound him, imaging, showing activation in several brain areas, including the emotions he never knew he even was able to feel, not in this way. Forbidden desires he was slave to, hidden motives his heart inflicted on him.
Heaving a deep sigh, his eyes roamed over her face. Like a moth drawn to flame, he found himself getting attached to her before he even knew her. He found himself attracted to her delicate features, the most subdue power, influence of her lips on him. Pinnacle of his desire, the arsonist to the fire of need, he was losing the battle he had no intention of fighting.
She was asleep, finally, after crying her heart out for an hour. Silas felt guilty, he held himself responsible for her situation. Only if, only if he hadn't knew about her, then maybe she would have been safe. Carefully, positioning one of his arm under her thighs and other behind her shoulders, he hoisted her up in his arms easily. Light as feather, soft as petals. Not to wake her up, he walked towards the bed.
He felt a powerful sense of empathy toward her, feeling her pain as his own and astonishingly being willing to sacrifice anything for her. He hated her tears.
He was possessive. For him, she had to be acquired and preserved.
He imagined women he would be in love with as beautiful, sacrificing and never arguing. In actual life situation, things were different. Infatuation did not meant that there would not be any differences and the other person would always remain dumb. But in his case, his perception of love was vague and simple. The feelings and word had taken a shape, a sculpture, he could never imagine.
Shape of her.
He watched her as she writhed as he covered her with duvet. Tears stained cheeks, giving a soft pink natural glow to her sun kissed skin. Her soft lushly hairs fell over her face like waves had summoned to swept her away. He couldn't take his eyes away. For first time, he had seen her differently, no longer seeing her as his rival's woman, but an emotionally strong and courageous woman.
Before he knew, a soft smile was dancing on his lips. Before he knew, his fingers had raised to caress the softness of her cheeks. He felt at ease. He felt.... complete.
She was corrupted but he saw pedestal of purity inside her, the clandestine magic in her orbs, the gleaming touch to her angelic face. He had started to admire her.
And he decided.
He realised.
His fingers stopped, replaced by his lips. He was left stunned by the feeling as his lips gently landed on her forehead. Just like a horizon, his lips stayed there for a second and he pulled away. But with a smile.
"I'll keep you safe, cara. You're mine to protect."
~~
Silas had a small smile on his face when he exited her room before locking the door securely and gently. He did not want to wake her. She looked too tired, emotionally drained and mentally exhausted. Turning the lights off and draping the curtains over the window, he had created a serene environment for her to nap into. He loved watching her sleeping.
But he was distracted when he received a message on his phone. He was summoned by his father. Heaving a heavy sigh, he decided to talk to him.
With steady steps and chaotic thoughts, he stepped into his father's room. The door was unlocked like usual, the matte black texture of walls gave heavy look to the room as dark grey curtains hindered the light's movement. It had always been like that. Dark and deep.
He sighed.
"Father." Silas voiced out. Loudly yet with soft tone. His ears twitched as he heard shuffling from other side of room before Alejandro was walking towards him, trying to wear a shirt.
"Silas! Where have you been? I've been looking for you for three hours." Alejandro said with disappointment. He huffed angrily as he slipped his arms into the shirt. Silas remained silent. His eyes gravely on deep scar running through his chest and resting above his abdomen. It was not like Silas had never seen it, but everytime he look at it, it brought the fresh memories.
His palm clutched into fist. Teeth gritting together that he could feel the strain in his jaw.
"I had some work." He stressed the words out. Alejandro chuckled dry-ly before buttoning his shirt. By the time he was done, Silas was searching for another bottle of vodka in his father's room. Alejandro noted his actions and grabbed him by his shoulder before roughly turning him around.
"No! No! No! You're not getting drunk anymore. This time, you'll listen to me and you will obey me. I'm done with your fucking recklessness." Silas was harshly pushed down on adjacent couch as Alejandro ran his fingers through his hairs. His forehead creased into deep frown, eye rows scrunched together whilst his nostrils flared.
Silas couldn't understand his father's behaviour. Like a child, he looked confused at him, couldn't understand the reason for his upsetting mood.
"Wh-"
"Don't fucking talk, Silas! Not now! I've been trying to get everything right for years, and now when I am this, this close to destroy him, you are running everything!" Alejandro stepped towards Silas, glaring at him. Before Silas could react, Alejandro grabbed him by his collar before screaming.
Silas was startled, puzzlement crossed his face whilst he peered intently into his father's eyes.
"Wh-what're you sayi-"
"I've not raised you to be a love sick dog. You have one job, one fucking task and you are failing." Look of devastation danced on his face. Alejandro didn't stopped, he jerked him by his collar, glaring accusingly at the young man as he spoke the words Silas was afraid to hear. "I'm ashamed to even call you my son. You've failed me, Silas. You've failed me."
"No! No! No! P-please don't say that." The latter pleaded, his eyes moistening as he gulped the lump of startelment down his throat.
Alejandro scoffed, shoving him down on couch and turned around.
"You are becoming weak. Just like your mother." Alejandro chuckled lowly with lack of amusement. Resting his hands over his hips, he threw his head back groaning in frustration.
"I should've asked Severin. Atleast he knows how to handle some fucking orders. You have disappointed me, Silas."
The young man swallowed hard, his eyes looking down. What had he done? Why was he being accused of something he hadn't done? Why wa shis father disappointed in him when all he had ever done was make him proud? Where was he wrong?
"But tell me what have I done?"
Alejandro scoffed again.
"What you have done? You were supposed to lure her into YOUR charm not vice-versa. I asked you to know her, get information about Silvio, so that I could plan some fucking things. But it feels like she is getting information from you not otherwise."
"I-I was just-"
"She's clever, Silas. She's not the woman for you. Silvio Salvatore, the man who had snatched our family from us, killed your sister. Your only motive should be destroying him. You'll find hundreds of women like her, but this, this opportunity is once in a lifetime. She had spend months with him, he had trained her enough to lure any man into her charm but don't be a fool. She's trying to get to your weakness, so that when the right time comes, she could run back to that bastard. Not you."
Silas didn't looked up. His head hung low. He pondered. The words his father said sounded surreal. Staring blankly at the marbled floor, although it seemed impossible but his frown get deeper.
"But she's different."
Alejandro peered intently at his son when a thought crossed his mind.
Sighing, he sat next to him.
"Look, Silas. I'm your father and I know what's best for you. Sadie. She's Silvio's woman. And you know how mafia leader's keep their women. They're used as toys for only pleasure and pleasure. And I don't wanna know how many men Silvio had forced her to sleep with." Silas's eyes shut tight as he clenched his fists whilst Alejandro looked at him through corner of his eyes before continuing. "She's a damaged good. You deserve better. More than her. But not now. Your priority must be destruction of Salvatore clan so that your future could be secure."
Silas was silent as he heard his father's words. He wanted to head his words, to listen to him and obey him. To make him proud of himself and make his father's chest filled with pride.
But his heart, it says otherwise. What if she was damaged? She was still enough for him. What if she wasn't pure? Her soul was ethical. What if she was Silvio's woman? He could make her his own.
Silas nodded his head. Partially listening to his father, and partially to his heart. Alejandro's lips stretched into a full grin as he side hugged his younger son.
"Make me proud, Silas. And I'll bring the best for you."
Silas nodded his head again. But his mind in chaotic mess. To every problem of his mind morphed into only one solution. A face he had recognised. A plan settled inside his head. Of course he was about to make his father proud, but also satisfy his heart. He had sacrificed so much to let her go now, not when he was ready to bet everything for her.
He never believed in love at first sight, but now he was in clutches of same emotion. Call it obsession or possession. He wanted her. And she would be his. He was adamant. And his feelings were stubborn. He had decided, he had finally replenished.
Only two mantras were echoing in his head like an alarm of danger.
Destroying Silvio Salvatore.
Making Sadie Quintin his.
He wanted to think about himself now. He was not weak, but now he would make his weakness his strength.
"I'll get information." Silas said finally. Alejandro grinned widely.
"That's my son. That's my son."


Lust: love without shame
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