15. Rain

**Rain**

After I read the letter, I spend a lot of time thinking if I want to meet this mysterious male. While I try to think, I go to the kitchen and ask Blade for some cleaning supplies. I return to my room and start cleaning my room because cleaning helps me think and because I can't stand the mess anymore.
I spend all afternoon cleaning and washing my clothes but I finally decide what I want to do.
After I shower and put on clean clothes, I brush my hair and put it in a ponytail.
Around 11:07 PM I get out of my room and slowly make my way to the place I am supposed to meet White. I know that instead of White it will be his human part. My heart beats furiously in my chest, while I think who can be.
The snow squeak under my boots, as I walk slowly towards the forest. The air is chilly and I shove my hand in the pockets of my coat.
Once I am out of the Rogue Village it doesn't take me long to see him. His back is to me, with his hands in his jeans' pockets and he is gazing at the stars. A soft wind runs through his black hair.
His scent tickles my nose and I know who he is. I don't know if I should stay or get back to my room.
"I was afraid you would not come," he says in a soft voice as he turns to face me.
"Caleb," I say. "So White is Raven?"
"Yes," he says.
If White, I mean Raven is his wolf maybe, just maybe Caleb is not as bad as I think.
Also, I am not sure what I feel. I am shocked, that's for sure, but I also feel something else. Maybe relieve that's Caleb and not someone else. At least I know him.
Safia looks at Caleb with curiosity. And something else. Fascination? It can't be right.
To be honest, ever since the incident from the kitchen, Safia had been thinking about Caleb and Raven all day long. At some point, she wanted to shift and to go look for Caleb.
When I asked her why she was getting all obsessed with Caleb she said she is still figuring it out.
I don't mind having her obsessed after the Alpha as long as she is talking to me.
"Are you disappointed it is me?" Caleb asks me when I say nothing.
I frown, "I am not sure. I did not expect you. But at the same time, I am glad is not Conon."
Caleb chuckles, "His wolf is brown. His name is Cookie."
"Cookie? How can a wolf be named that?" I ask and Caleb laughs. "You are making fun of me!" I say in an angry tone.
"I am not. Cookie is what Conon calls him, but his real name is Taos."
"Taos is a better name than Cookie. But why Cookie?" I ask.
"You should ask him. He tells the story better than I do," Caleb says. He looks at me for a moment and I feel his scent changing. "Red, can I talk to you?"
"Aren't we already talking?"
"I guess we are. Walk with me?" Caleb asks me.
*'Go with him,'* my instinct whispers to me.
"Are we going to the clearing?" I ask.
"Only if you want," he says to me. "I promise there are no ants there. And, Red, if I ever get my hands on your former Alpha... he will regret making you sleep outside," he says with a loud growl and takes a step closer to me. "No one should ever abuse an Omega. Or anyone else."
I remember my first time with Raven, and I say to Caleb, "You have also been abused."
Caleb inhales sharply, then lets the breath out, before saying, "I have."
"I am sorry it happened to you," I say.
"Let's walk," Caleb says and I nod.
We walk for a while, in silence. The forest is quiet, and I like it.
When I jump over a rock, I slip on some ice and Caleb moves fast, puts a hand around my waist, and with the other grabs me by my right hand, preventing me from falling. I feel my sparks between us, and I wonder what they are.
"Be careful," he says as he looks at me. I'm curious about his expression.
Caleb lets go of my waist and interlace his fingers with my fingers. I look at my right hand and his left hand, I frown, and then I look back at him.
"Why are we holding hands?" I ask in a confused tone.
"So that you won't fall," Caleb says and I roll my eyes. He chuckles.
"If I fall I will get up."
"Humor me," Caleb says and I sigh.
"Whatever," I say and we resume walking.
A warm sensation wraps around my heart. Omegas love to be protected and taken care of. After all that happened to me, I try to not let these emotions cloud my mind. Not all Alphas want to protect an Omega.
I look at Caleb as we walk, wondering what he is thinking about and what he wants to talk to me about.
But I also get curious about this male, an Alpha, who got abused. And I can't stop myself from wondering who hurt him.
"Did your former pack abuse you?" I ask as we get closer to that clearing.
He stays quiet for long minutes before he speaks. "It wasn't my former pack. They didn't care what happened to me and when I ended up in the hands of my... abusers. They didn't do anything to save me," Caleb says and he looks at the stars.
"What about your family?" I ask. "Didn't they try to save you?"
"I am the last of five brothers. All Alphas. And my parents had me when they were old, and we had never been close. They always said that I was a mistake, so they never lifted a finger to save me," Caleb says in a sad tone and he is still looking at the dark sky. "What about you?"
"Caleb," I say as my heart cracks for him. How can someone say that their child is a mistake? "You are not a mistake. If it weren't for you I would not be here," I say and he squeezes my hand.
"Enough about my shitty life. Tell me about your parents. Why did they let the pack abuse you?"
"My parents died in a fire when I was three. My former pack blamed me."
Caleb looks at me and growls, "How could they blame you for something that happened when you were three years old?"
I shrug, "I don't know. They said I am cursed."
Caleb stops walking. I do the same.
"Look at me," he says softly.
I try to look into his eyes. For the first time, I wonder what color they are. Safia send me the color silver.
*'Silver eyes?'* I ask her to be sure and she sends the image of a *'yes.'*
I never heard of someone to have silver eyes and I want to see them so badly.
"You are not cursed," Caleb says to me.
"How do you know?" I ask him.
"I just know. Trust me."
And I want to trust him because Caleb is the second person that thinks I am not cursed.
We start walking again, and I think about Mr. Smith. I hope he is doing well. When I start thinking about a certain person I force myself to talk to Caleb.
"How do you do it?" I ask Caleb, as we enter the clearing.
Caleb lets go of my hand, takes his coat off, and puts it on the ground. Then he looks at me, and says, "Sit."
"I have my own coat," I say.
"You can use mine, I don't mind."
Stubborn male.
I look at him, shake my head and say, "Fine."
I take my coat off and put it on a rock, then I sit on Caleb's coat. He sits next to me, looks at me, and asks, "You asked me how do I do it. Do what?"
"Laugh? Live?"
Caleb looks at the stars and I do the same. I wonder why he is so fascinated with them.
"I try to not let the bad moments win. Sometimes I am doing something and I would remember how I was... used. Or how I was forced to shift so that they could beat Raven," he says with so much pain in his voice.
"Oh, Caleb," I say. "That's awful."
"It is. Was. Now I am free and far away from them."
"Who are they?" I ask because I am suddenly curious about Caleb.
He is quiet for a long time, while he keeps looking at the stars. I am about to ask something else when Caleb finally speaks.
"The vampires," he says in a low tone. His scent changes I can smell his pain and fury.
I turn to look at him, and ask, "You were a slave for the vampires?"
"For six long infernal years."
"I am so sorry," I say. I can't imagine the pain and suffering he must had gone through. My heart breaks for him.
When I was in the other pack, the Luna would threaten me by telling me she would sell me to the vampires. I am happy that it never happened because even I heard what atrocities happen in the Vampire Palace.
"It's not your fault," Caleb says. "There's nothing to be sorry for."
"How did you escape?" I ask. "From what I know no one has ever escaper from the Palace."
"One morning, after one of their 'festivities,' when they fucked me for hours and sucked my blood, or beat Raven for their fun, and whatever the hell they did to me during that night, I was dying. I was in my cell and I felt how my life was slipping by. I was glad to die because I was so tired of everything. Raven was also ready. But then a female appeared next to me and told me that it is not my time to die, that I still have much to do. That I will one day meet a female with fire in her spirit. And I will have to help her."
My heart breaks as I listen to everything that Caleb told me. I can't even imagine the pain he went through.
A female with fire in her spirit? I hope that that female wasn't referring to me, because I would hate to disappoint Caleb and the female that saved him.
"The female that appeared in my cell, she healed me and took me away from there. It took me long months to find the strength to crawl out of the bed, but she was patient. When I was better, she helped me build the Rogue Village. Her name is Tatiana."
"Caleb," I say after he stops talking. "What happened to you is horrible. No one should ever go through that."
"I agree that no one should suffer as I did. I wish I could save everyone from that hellish place. But I can't," he says with regret. "This is why I build this place, to be a safe harbor for those that suffered in their past."
"I've misjudged you," I say. "I thought you were a bully, but I never once stopped to think that maybe you too are suffering."
"When someone is depressed all they see is their suffering. But I am glad you agreed to talk to me."
"And here we are," I say.
Caleb nods, and agrees with me, "And here we are."
"What did you want to talk to me about?" I ask.
Caleb takes my hand into his hand and I feel those sparks again. He looks at me and says, "You felt it, don't you?"
"I feel some sparks, but I don't know what they mean," I say sincerely.
"Red, we are soul– " he says, but I put my palm against his mouth.
"Don't say what I think you were about to say, Caleb," I say and he pulls my hand away from his mouth.
"Why?" Caleb asks.
I close my eyes and breathe in and out. Moments later I open them and try to look at him. "Caleb, I am broken. I gave everything to someone that broke my heart in so many tiny pieces, I don't know I will ever be able to put them back together."
"Red, have you really looked at me? Or did you listen to what I told you about my past? I am also broken. In so many ways. For six years I have been in the hands of the vampires and I have been fucked and tortured and had my blood sucked until I could not remember who I was or where I was."
"How old were you, when you became a slave?" I ask.
"Twelve. But in the beginning, I was only a blood slave. Three years later, during a festivity, I was introduced as a sex slave in front of the Court."
"How can you think about being with someone after everything that happened to you? How can you think about touching someone? Let someone touch you in that way?" I ask because I don't understand how he wants to be with someone. Because after all he told me that had happened to him, I would never want someone to touch me.
"Because if it's you Red, I would want to touch you every day. Worshiping your body would be a privilege."
Did he just say worship and privilege?
"Caleb, I can't. I can't do this. Being intimate with someone, I can't."
He growls and I flinch. "Who raped you?" Caleb asks me. "Was it that piece of shit that rejected you and let the pack beat you until you were almost dead?"
"It wasn't him," I say. "It does not matter who it was."
"It does matter, Red. And one day you will tell who it was. And be sure, Red, that I will take my time killing him."
"You would kill?" I ask, not believing what I hear.
"For what he did to you, I would."
"You are crazy," I say.
"No, Red, I am not crazy. I am just angry that someone hurt you this badly. That someone forced you," Caleb says in an angry tone.
I am not sure what to think. Even if Alpha Ben deserved to be punished for what he did to me, I don't want Caleb to kill someone. A council would be held and if Caleb would be found guilty he would either be condemned to death or sent in exile.
"I don't want you to kill anyone, Caleb! You will get into trouble."
"I will castrate him then!"
Safia jumps inside my head with excitement at the possibility of Caleb castrating Alpha Ben.
"Let's talk about something else," I say wanting to change the subject.
"Red," Caleb says in a soft tone. "Give a chance. Just one."
I close my eyes, "I can't."
"Why?" he asks in a broken tone.
"Because I can't."
"Are you rejecting me, then?" I hear him ask after a few moments of silence.
I open my eyes, "No. I would never do that! And besides, how do I know you are telling the truth. I can't feel that we are... you know."
"My instinct tells me you are mine, Red. I don't know why you can't feel it, but I am not lying."
I let out a bitter laugh, "Let's say you are telling the truth. But what would two broken people do together?"
"Live. Learn how to love, how to trust. Piece up the broken parts," Caleb says.
"Caleb–"
"Give me a month, Red."
"A month for what?" I ask in a confused tone.
"A month to win you over. If after a month you still don't want me, then I will leave you alone."
*'Yes!'* my instinct tells me.
"I am afraid," I say to Caleb. "Afraid to say yes."
"And I am afraid that you will say no," he says in a sad tone.