20. Rain

**Rain**

After Caleb leaves, I sit on an armchair, put my knees against my chest and think. I am mad with myself for panicking earlier, but I have been honest with Caleb. I was done with my old life and my old pack. And I was starting to get used to the idea that I would never see Jordan again. And then he shows up, and I feel like running and running until I am sure I am far away from him. But at the same time, I want to tell him that I forgive him. That I still love him.
I am angry with myself for still loving Jordan, and I feel like screaming and screaming until all the anger I feel is gone. But instead of screaming, I concentrate on my breathing. I breathe in and out just like Caleb taught me.
Safia shows me two wolves – one grey and the other white. I am not sure what she means, but when she tills her head, I understand.
*'White,'* I say. *'I was serious when I told Caleb that I wanted him to help me forget about Jordan. Besides, how could I ever be Luna to a pack that beat as if I was a punching bag?'*
Safia nods and lets the grey wolf go.
And it hits me. If I finally feel the bond between Caleb and me, I will have to be Luna. I stand and start pacing around the room.
I don't know how to be a Luna. I don't even know what a Luna does.
There are so many things I have to learn. While I was in the Crescent Moon Pack, I wasn't allowed to attend the school like the other children. If it weren't for Mr. Smith, I would have probably grown up not knowing how to read or write. Even though he is an art teacher, he sat with me each night for about two hours and taught me all that I know.
I stay in my room and think. I even skip lunch, but Blade brings me some sandwiches and asks if I feel alright. I smile and say that I am feeling just fine, but I need some time alone to think.
It is late afternoon when I hear a knock on the door.
"It's Sarah. Can I come in?"
"Yes," I say.
Sarah enters my room. In her right hand, she has a big bag with her, while on her left arm I see a red dress.
I frown, and I ask while I look at the dress, "What's going on?"
She walks over to the bed and puts the bag and the dress on top of it. Sarah turns around and looks at me for a few moments before talking, "I am here to help you get ready for dinner."
I tilt my head to the side, "Why would you help me get ready for dinner?"
"It's a surprise," Sarah says in a happy tone.
"I hate surprises," I say.
The last surprise I had started as the best day of my life and ended as my worst nightmare.
Sarah laughs softly, "You will love this surprise."
"Can you at least tell me who sent you?" I ask.
"Caleb. First, I want you to take care of your hair!" Sarah says and grabs my hands, pulling me up.
My bathroom has both a shower and a bathtub, and Sarah prepares a bath for me. She adds some oils to it, and when it is ready, she looks at me.
"Strip and get in."
I start to take my clothes off. Most of the Black Ruby Rogue pack members know that I have been rejected and marked as a traitor by Jordan, but I tried to keep secret the crown of flames I have on my left shoulder. I make sure to hide it from Sarah, and when I have only my panties and my bra on, I go over to the bathtub, enter, make sure the bubbles cover my shoulders, and look at Sarah. "I still don't understand why you have to help me," I tell her.
Sarah waits until I get comfortable in the bathtub before speaking, "Caleb told me you had a difficult day and asked me to help if I could help you relax before dinner."
While I soak in the warm water, Sarah starts working on my hair. When my hair is wet, she applies some oil to it and massages my scalp. She takes her time with my hair, and from time to time, she adds more oil. When she is done, she rinses my hair, washes it with shampoo that smells like roses, and rinses it again.
"Time to get out," Sarah says once she finishes working on my hair.
She hands me my bathrobe, and I follow her into my room. I sit on a chair in front of my vanity table. Sarah dries my hair and brushes it before braiding a part of it around my head, and the other part is let loose.
"Before I apply the makeup, you should put the dress on," Sarah says.
She turns until I change my underwear and put the dress on. I look in the mirror and see how beautiful it is. The dress reaches my knees and has long sleeves. The neckline is high.
I look into the mirror, and even if I can't see my face, I can see how well the dress fits me.
Sarah puts her head on my left shoulder, looks into the mirror, and says, "You are so beautiful! Once I do your makeup, you will have Caleb eating out of your palm."
"Sarah!" I say while trying to hide a smile because I want Caleb to find me beautiful.
"Don't you 'Sarah' me! I have seen how Caleb looks at you," Sarah says. "He really likes you! And he is a good male also."
I nod because I know she is right when she says Caleb is a good male. But I don't want him to eat from my palm; I just want to have a normal relationship with someone and learn what real love is.
"Let me do your makeup, and then I will take you to Caleb," Sarah says.
I want to tell her it does not matter because I can't see it anyways but nevertheless, I sit on the chair and wait patiently while Sarah does my makeup.
When she is done, Sarah takes a step back and looks at me.
"You look so beautiful!" Sarah says, and I smile.
"Thank you!" I tell her.
Sarah goes to her bag and takes out a pair of red high heels and brings them over.
"I am not sure if they will fit, but I think we have the same size," Sarah says and give me the shoes.
"I can't wear your shoes. What if something happens to them?"
Sarah laughs, "Then I will ask Jeremy to buy me more. Now, stop protesting and try them! I want to see if they fit!"
I put them on, and to my delight, they do fit. I look at my feet and see that they sparkle.
"These are the most beautiful pair of shoes I have ever seen," I tell Sarah. "Thank you for letting me borrow them!"
Sarah looks at me and says, "Let me take you to where Caleb is."
I nod, but I almost trip when I try to walk. Sarah helps me gain my balance.
I have never worn high heels before, and I hope I won't fall and embarrass myself.
"It might take a while to get used to them," Sarah says.
We get out of the room, and when we reach the stairs, Sarah helps me climb down. Suddenly, I feel nervous, and when we get to the last stair, I know why. I smell him first, and then I see Caleb talking to Conon in the middle of the hallway.
He is wearing a pair of black pants, a white shirt, and a grey sweater.
Both males turn at the same time and look at me. I feel a little blush blooming in my cheeks when Caleb keeps staring at me for long moments.
"You are a lucky bastard!" Conon says, and Caleb turns his head and growls at Conon. The Beta puts his hands in the air, "I mean it in a good way. She is beautiful."
Sarah whispers into my ear, "Have fun with Caleb and forget about everything else."
Caleb looks back at me and walks over to me. He looks at Sarah. "Thank you!" he says.
Caleb takes my left hand into his, brings it to his lips, and plants a soft kiss, and my heart skips a beat. Then he offers me his left arm, and I slip my hand into the crook of his elbow.
Caleb leads me to a room that has a table with two chairs in the middle. Plates with food are placed on the table. In the middle of the table are a bottle of wine and two glasses.
The light is dim, but even so, I can still observe a music equipment in one of the corners, and some classical music is playing.
The wall opposite the door had two big windows. I stop walking and look out the windows. Outside it is snowing with big snowflakes, and it looks like a scene from a story or a movie.
"Beautiful," I say.
"Breathtaking, I would say," I hear Caleb say.
I frown and look at him. "You think so?"
"You *are* breathtaking," he says while looking at me. "When I thought about my soulmate, Red, I never imagined that I would be blessed with such a beautiful female."
I shake my head, "I am not that beautiful."
"I have seen many females in my life, Red. But none was as beautiful as you are. And I can hardly wait for you to feel that I am your soulmate."
My heart beats hard in my chest while I wonder what he looks like or what expression he has on his face.
Safia sends me the image of a chili pepper.
*'I don't understand,'* I say.
She sends me the image of a fire.
I frown because I don't know what she means, *'What does fire has to do with Caleb?'*
Safia sends me the image of a bonfire and a male standing next to it and fanning himself.
*'Fire and a person that is hot?'* Then I understand what she means. '*You mean Caleb is hot?'*
Safia sends me the image of three bonfires.
*'That hot, huh?'* I say.
Now I am even more curious about how he looks.
I am not sure what to tell him because I haven’t gotten used to being called beautiful.
I touch his hand and feel sparks between us, but my instinct is silent. "Why do you think I can't hear the instinct telling me you are my soulmate?" I ask him.
"Let me help you will the chair, and we can talk about it," Caleb says. After I am seated, he sits in the chair facing me and looks at me. "I wasn't sure what you like to eat, so I asked Blade to prepare a little of everything."
I look at all the food, and I am unsure if Caleb expects us to eat everything.
He looks, "Eat just what you like."
While I take a plate and put some chicken and salad on it, Caleb opens the bottle of wine, fills a glass, and gives it to me. After that, he fills his glass and puts a lot of meat and some veggies on his plate. I can't say I am shocked. He is, after all, quite big.
"I am not sure why your instinct is silent, but I know what my instinct tells me," Caleb says.
I eat while I look at him for a few moments. "And what does your instinct tells you?" I ask.
"That you are mine and that I should claim you," Caleb says calmly while looking at me.
Even if I am his soulmate, why does he want me? When a person is marked as a traitor and a cheater, not even a companion would want that werewolf. The only mark that is worse than the mark of the traitor is the mark of a criminal.
Every time I think of that mark, I feel ashamed. I put the knife on the plate and touch my right shoulder with my left hand.
"My mark–"
"Your mark means nothing to me, Red," Caleb says. "And on the day I will take you to the Ritual Stones and have our Alpha and Luna ceremony, and Raven and I claim Safia and you in front of the pack, no one will care about that mark. No one cares about your mark.”