34.

Arlon's pov


I can only think of Elai as my hand travels into my pants. I have grown impatient, I will admit. I have to settle for the image of the blonde boy, just for now. I wanted to wait. Oh.. I wanted to wait so bad. I wanted to wait until my hands were on his body, until I could genuinely touch him. My body heats up the longer I touch myself; it is common. I can’t control my own ability when I’m masturbating, it has always been a struggle of mine. I’m lucky I can’t really burn myself to the point it hurts, because I never would’ve been able to have this outlet. A soft breath leaves my body as I think of Elai. I was so close to kissing him, I was so close to feeling him. It has brought me a certain ecstasy I haven’t felt in a while, or maybe haven’t even felt at all. I don’t really know if Eryx ever truly made me feel like this. Like.. ah. Whatever. It is stupid to overthink, especially with my hand wrapped around my own length. My legs are tensing up as I dig my nails into the arm of my chair. Fuck. I can’t avoid the huff I let out; I am really doing this. I am feeling good while thinking of that damned boy that has been haunting my castle for weeks now. Unbelievable. I’d say I’m disgusted with myself, but that would be a lie. I am enjoying this and everything about it. I am enjoying the wait, the chase, the want, the desire. I am enjoying the look on his face whenever I joke around with him, whenever I make it a little too obvious I want to touch him. And now that he knows.. things only have gotten better. The tension is about to burst; I can feel it. I’m not completely sure if it will explode in a good way, but I’m glad it will be gone soon. I have a war to focus on, I can’t allow him to steer in my thoughts forever.
“Arlon!” And as if I wasn’t already stressed enough, Cesilia’s loud and stern voice startles the shit out of me. My thoughts suck themselves to the back of my mind as I pull myself closer to the desk. I can’t have them know what I was doing, because they will never stop teasing me about it. especially not if they found out who I was fantasizing about..
“Cesilia- what do you want?” I am out of breath and unfocused, my mind is hazy. I won’t be able to talk properly. I need to be left alone; I need to finish.
“Is it true? Did you tell Elai?” There it is; the question I was hoping to avoid until morning. Connie follows his sister into the room. More pressure, of course. Chay must’ve told them after he found out that I had told Elai; green magic truly doesn’t hide anything from this guy.
“I did indeed.” There is no way around it, no way to defend myself. I have to keep my hands pressed against my desk as I try to calm my body down. I was so close. My heat fades away quicker than the red flush on my face does.
“That’s fucking ridiculous! Do you even understand how much danger you’ve put yourself in?!” I understand that Cesilia’s angry. She has been like a sister of my own and has been the most protective over me. Connie, of course, was the one to pledge, but he can still be a bit.. clumsy. Cesilia never is. Never. I am telling you now; absolutely fucking never. I can’t avoid her gaze or change the subject when she’s around. It is a surprise that she takes the word, though. Connie is simply standing beside her, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed. Oh.. they’re furious.
“He will kill you, Lo!” Cesilia leans forward and presses her hands against the desk. I feel myself tense up; she’s intimidating, alright. I need to keep my breath steady, or she will easily find out what I was doing, that I was fantasizing about the pure image of my greatest enemy.
“He’s weak.” I have no good words to use; I am not here with my mind, and neither will any words sound right in this moment. I know what I did was somehow incredibly stupid, but in my eyes, I did something good. I made him stay. I gave him a reason to stay.
“Weakness doesn’t mean shirt, Yhoroe!” Dumbass. A common word to hear falling out of Cesilia’s mouth. I can’t stop myself from grinning a little. “He can still slice your throat when you’re sleeping, or stab right through your stupid fucking heart!” she’s right, but I don’t fear it. I’m not even sure Elai actually wants to kill me. I let out a big sigh; so much for trying to get off.
“He is the prince of Lyle, guys. I have royalty from our worst fucking enemy! He would’ve been trying to leave if I didn’t tell him. I would’ve lost him.” The only reason I can think of right now, is Elai’s position. But even then I know all too well that doesn’t mean anything; it is not as if king Heseras desires to get his child back. He fucking exiled him, for moon’s sake. The only thing that’ll make him happy is my head on a plate.
Connie steps forward, muscles tense and shoulders shrugging. “You’re telling me that you have no valid reason for telling him?”
“I do not.” I grin once more. I can’t help it.
My friend don’t grin with me, though. Of course they don’t; I am a complete idiot in their eyes. Or well.. I am a complete idiot. “Anyways, I will probably join the army in a few days. I’ve gotten rid of the bad feeling.” It doesn’t even do justice for how I am feeling right now. Eryx hasn’t been bothering me for days, and it is all because of Elai. The Amias blood he owns doesn’t matter; Elai has been keeping the nightmares and the ghosts away.
“Don’t avoid the conversation, Lo. What you did was extremely stupid and you know it.” It is Connie talking once again. I am weaker to his words than I am to Cesilia’s. He is my best friend, my everything, actually. I know that I am happy with my decision and that I am showing anything but regret right now, but trust me.. seeing him be disappointed in me is painful. I don’t want to do that, but I just.. what am I even saying?
Connie’s getting even closer, eyes piercing right through mine. I’m pretty sure he’s looking right through me, through my soul and everything that is inside of me. I try not to look back, eyes shooting up and down at my desk. My body is still begging for a release, for the orgasm I was craving. Now I’m here, watching my friends watch me struggle with what to say.
“What are we supposed to do know? Just watch our greatest enemy walk around with that stupid bratty smile on his face?” Connie is harsh with his words, as always. It’s not a secret that he doesn’t like Elai, but he will do anything for me, as long as I ask for it. he has made a pledge after all.
“Yes. That is exactly what I want you to do. I want you to keep training him as well. The fact that he knows changes nothing.”
Connie let’s out a scoff. “You can’t ask that from me.”
My eyebrows raise. We’ve been through this many times. I can ask anything from him. He is obligated to do it, no matter what the reason is.
“I can. I am your king.” I command it and he does it. if not, I can throw him into the dungeons. Connie knows this, he knows he can’t really say no. But he also knows that our bond grows deeper than his pledge, or our positions. We’re best friends. He knows I wouldn’t lock him up. I would simply not do that. Right?
“You enjoy hiding behind your crown a bit too much, Arlon.” Cesilia shakes her head; she’s with Connie on this one. I expected nothing less. They’re both completely right, and I hate that I for once am not on their side. But this is my choice, and they will have to respect it.
“If Elai becomes too dangerous, I will kill him, still.” I am bluffing, but I need them to turn their heads around and forget about what had happened. I need them to give me time to figure him out. I need them to give me time to.. you know.. explore. Oh, I would feel so embarrassed if Elai wasn’t thinking of me this way. What if it is strategic? Am I being a complete, utter, desperate fool?