38.

Arlon's pov

I make him nervous. I can see it appear in his eyes; he doesn’t know what to say. I drop my head to the right just a little bit, eyes looking down at his lips. I can just kiss him. I can do it. I didn’t get that chance last night, I didn’t get to do it the way I wanted to.
“I will pierce my blade through your chest and go home to celebrate my victory.”
Elai’s words make me grit my teeth, my hand grabbing a tight hold of his chin. His eyes are filled with what I hoped not to see; hatred. The boy I had spoken to yesterday is too far to find, and I’m almost convinced it was a dream.
“You would if you were able to carry it properly.” But I will not show my shock, nor my defeat. I know he wants to kiss me, too. I’ve seen him looking at me at times when he shouldn’t have, I have seen the way he licked his lips when he saw me without a shirt. He wants me. I know this. And so I let out a soft breath followed by a chuckle, hand letting go of Elai’s face.
He doesn’t hesitate to step away from me, point of the sword dragging along the mud. “I’m surprised you dare to come so close to me, knowing what I want to do.” Elai drops the sword and sticks out his hands instead. I’m glad he decided it was time for him to drop the attitude; he knows we didn’t plan on using a sword.
“And what exactly do you want to do?” I focus on my resistance and give the boy a small nod. I can feel his ability push against my resistance, I can feel it try and bite through the protection that surrounds my body. Elai tries harder, something he didn’t dare to do before. He seems to be truly motivated now that he knows that if he breaks through, he will kill me. I am a motivation to do better, I am a way of keeping his focus steady. I feel power rush through me. He really does need me.
“I want to break you.” Elai’s words are euphoric to my ears.
“And how do you want to do that?” I grin, resistance only growing thicker the harder he tries. Elai’s eyes look up and I stare right back at him. His power grows stronger as he lets out a groan. I try not to show it to him, but my arm is starting to hurt. I stop myself from widening my eyes, from showing any kind of reaction to the pressure. He’s actually breaking through it. “By-“ He’s getting tired, though. He is unable to speak up, hands weakening and eyes closing. Before the pressure can turn into pain, he stops. My resistance drops and I get myself together so that he won’t notice I was getting tired, too.
“So maybe I won’t break you, but I’ll find a way.”
“Do it again.” I am taking a risk, as always.
Elai frowns. “Huh?”
“Do it again.” I can’t find a spark of hesitation within me as I allow Elai to try again, this time, my resistance nowhere to be found.
“Arlon are you-“
“Let’s just see how far you can get.” I bite on my bottom lip and close my eyes, arms spreading out wide. I am prepared to hurt, even to break something. I have healers close by; I will be fine. “You’re testing me. This is a test.: Elai is hesitant. I’m going to say it again; he is hesitant. The boy who is out to kill me does not take the first fucking chance he gets. Of course it is a test; and he has passed successfully. It makes me feel good to know he doesn’t take the chance, to feel that my bones stay intact the longer I stand- oh!
“Ha!” My bones are frozen. I can’t move. I can’t do anything but watch Elai grin. He hasn’t moved his hands up; he is purely doing it from his core.
“Impressive. I’m proud.” I let out a soft yelp when the grip becomes tighter. I know how death gazers work; I have seen what they can do up-close. I have seen a man be ruined by one, I have seen thousands of bodies explode under the mere gaze of one. They’re called death gazers for a reason.
“Getting pretty tight in here.” The joke is out of nervousness. I can’t help it. I’m getting uncomfortable in this position. I should’ve let Connie stay; I shouldn’t have asked Elai that question. I am a fucking fool.
“I like this test.” Elai smiles as his grip disappears. There is the boy I have spent a lot of time with. The one that doesn’t seem to know how to hate me, the one that likes my company. I wonder if he knows it’s not worth it. I understand how good it can feel to gain power and acknowledgement, but I also know how much it can ruin a person. I can see the pain in Elai’s eyes and what this journey is doing to him. He obviously doesn’t like his father, and he’s probably at a stage in his journey where he doesn’t know if pleasing his father is the right thing to do.
I’m glad he’s in that stage, because soon enough, I will be kissing him because of it. I’m not going to deny it anymore. I want to kiss him. I want to do it every fucking second of the day.
“Did I pass?” He gets closer and for a moment, I once again think he is truly going to go for it. But he stops moving his head when there’s only a few inches left between us.
“You are certainly better than I expected.” I have to stay professional; I want him to yearn for it, too. I want him to lay in bed at night and think of my hands on his body. I move away from him and I can see it surprises him by the way he almost falls over. So he was still leaning into it. Good.
“There is no explanation as to why you’re able to control your ability this fast, unless you believe in myths.” It frustrates me the tiniest bit. I wanted to be like him when I was around fourteen years old. When Eryx started teaching me how to control, it took me much longer. I am not one to be compared to myths, to the strongest of the gods. Elai, on the other hand.. he’s extraordinary. I don’t get where it is coming from. I don’t believe in myths.
“Bet Connie would love the theory.” He knows what I’m talking about; the souls of the gods. Just like the moon and the sun, the other six gods have a soul that they can bring down into a vessel. It makes a human extremely.. strong and fast. Like Elai.
But the boy doesn’t wear a soul. Of course he doesn’t; it is called a myth for a reason.
“Bet Connie would believe it, too.” I tell him as I walk over to the back of the arena. I’m getting lightheaded. My attacks aren’t regular, but I know when they come. Overthinking is a big factor, and it is clear that Elai’s easy evolving is making me think too much.
“You wouldn’t, right? I mean.. it is a myth. You said it yourself; it’s stupid.”
“I know it is stupid.”
“So why are you pacing around?” Elai has got a point; I’m stressing out. Connie has gotten into my head.. and it will soon turn into Eryx if I don’t focus my head on something else.
“Do you need to stop training? I can practice by myself- I’ve done it for a couple of days already and I-“ Elai’s words are starting to fade away. I didn’t want to get like this when he’s around. I want to be able to stay in my place and breathe. But the dream I’ve had, and now the overthinking.. it’s.. it’s getting too much. I feel like fainting. I feel like fainting and not waking up for a good couple of days. The moon has to cleanse my soul. She has to. I feel like absolute shit all of a sudden, and I’m grateful it isn’t new. If it was, I would be screaming and crying by now. But I know how to work through this, I know how to take care of it.
I open my eyes, sweaty hand pressed against my forehead. Elai has walked up to me and I freeze when his hands grab a hold of my shoulder.
“Let’s get you out of here. I think you need some fresh air..”
His voice is so kind. Is he truly still my enemy? Am I allowing to let the boy who’s going to kill me walk me out of this place? Am I allowing him to wrap his arm around my waist, am I allowing him to help me walk? In all honesty; I am.