42.

Elai's pov

Arlon left a few days after his apology. Duty called, and I watched him disappear into the mist with Connie and Cesilia by his side. Quite a few men had decided to join, even after I had heard they were angry with the king.
I hate to say this, but I miss him. I have been missing him. It’s been weeks if not months already, and I don’t know what he’s doing or if he’s even alive at all. Now, it must sound logical of me to think that because I am the one who is supposed to kill him, but I feel rather worried than angry. I don’t.. I don’t want him to die. There. I said it. I don’t want him to die, and thus I don’t want to kill him. Maybe I’ll do a moon ritual and become one with the people of Turi. I’ve actually been thinking about that a lot. What if I decide to choose revenge instead of redemption? What if I don’t want my father’s approval, what if I simply want to see his blood on my hands? These questions have been haunting both my nights and days. I barely sleep and eat a lot, Chay always by my side. He has helped me focus on something else, and even though he pretends he doesn’t have a clue, I know the green magic has probably already told him that I might have a crush on Arlon. I might’ve even fallen for him already. He probably knows the answer to that more than I do.
Now to get away from the bad thoughts; we have been working on decorating the streets for the festival! Apparently, we are closing in on Arlon’s birthday. It will be the first festival I’ll be a part of, and I’m actually glad it’s a foreign one. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to experience the one’s we have in Lyle but.. I don’t know if I ever want to go back to that kingdom. I don’t even know if I want to call it my home anymore.
I’ve been getting to know a lot of people and I have found out that the civilains are actually very nice. The Turians I had imagined when I was still their full-blooded enemy aren’t real at all. They’re sweet and considerate and ready to help wherever they can. They love the king, too. I haven’t met a single one that hates Arlon, the ones he told me about. Maybe they have disappeared, maybe everyone loves him now. The thought of that makes me feel all warm inside. It’s embarrassing, but I’ve come to accept my feelings.
“Elai! Can you help me out here?” Ravi is one of the people I got very close to. I have been working with him and Chay the most. He’s one of the main organizers of the festivals and he knows Arlon pretty well.
I walk towards him with a smile on my face. I want to do this more often. It is exciting, just as it is exciting that Arlon’s going to turn twenty-four. For a long while, I thought he was that age already, but my calculations proved me to be wrong. I should’ve asked Chay earlier so that I wouldn’t have embarrassed myself in front of the organizers. I get hot cheeks simply thinking back of it.
“Hold onto the ladder, please. I am afraid I might fall.” Ravi’s accent is pretty. He’s from the kingdom far away from here; Alveryae. It is the kingdom I have heard most about. Apparently, it is the most beautiful one and a lot of people go there because of the endless nights and the constant dark skies. I hope I can go there one day. Maybe if I ask Arlon to take me..
My sweaty hands take a tight hold of the ladder as Ravi climbs up, and my face becomes hot when I feel a hand against my back. Chay’s hand is cold against my bare skin, yet I close my eyes and pretend it is Arlon. His skin is constantly hot, yet I find a way to picture him behind me, stupid grin on his face as always. I can’t wait for him to get back here. I want to see his face. I want to confess, too. Being away from him has brought me great realization and I’m ready to take the final step. The last time I tried, I was still hesitating, even when I saw that I had turned Arlon on. I want it to go differently. Maybe a bit more.. romantic.
“You’ve become a lot stronger, haven’t you?” Chay squeezes my arm, my tensed muscles hard in his hand.
I nod. “I can easily take you on now.”
“Is that a challenge?” Chay grins.
I wish I could ignore his gaze. “Yes. Let’s both join the tournaments and get our asses kicked by the one and only.” I keep referring to Connie as the one and only. I don’t know why. He has been the least fond of me, even when his sister started hanging out with me a bit more. He’s skeptical and I get it, but it is also kind of sad. I want to get to know him; he’s the closest person to Arlon after all. Maybe I will find out something when I get the chance to talk to him.
“Maybe we should get our asses kicked. It’s in two weeks, right? Enough time to make a potion.” Chay is funny, I will give him that. He’s great company, too. But it is hard to be around someone who likes you. I hate admitting it, but I hate denying it more. I know he’s into me, I’ve seen the way he looks down at my lips whenever I talk to him.
“Cheating our way through the tournaments? You must be mad.” I chuckle lightly, a soft groan escaping my lips when Ravi takes another step.
Chay nods. “I’m pretty sure Arlon wouldn’t dare to lock us up because of it.”
“You wanna bet?” I huff. Arlon definitely would, and he would do it with a smirk on his face, too.
“Alright, that’s it! I’m going to take a quick break.” Ravi jumps down the ladder, giving my muscles time to relax. Chay is right; I have become stronger. My arms are much bigger, and I wonder if I could fight my brothers with this new.. power. If not, I always have my ability. I’ve become much stronger with that, too. I’m sure I can fight Arlon for real now, if I try hard enough. I have also mastered my resistance.. I think. I haven’t tried it with Arlon yet, though. So I might be wrong. But it is never bad to be confident in yourself, right?
I look up at the decoration that has been latched onto the roofs.
“Let us enjoy a short break, too. There are still a few days left for us to finish it.” Chay takes my hand and I allow him to do so. I don’t want to sadden him, and we are friends, it isn’t that bad to hold his hand, right?
“The king!” My heart skips a beat when I hear the first voice yell. I try not to widen my eyes as my hand holds tightly onto Chay’s.
“He’s back!”
“They’re back!”
Voices start to pile up and Chay and I quicken our pace to get out of the alley.
There are horses in the distance, but I can’t see Arlon’s face yet. I do see Connie at the front, and Cesilia close behind him. They look victorious and I can’t wait to see what Arlon’s face looks like. The crowd is becoming bigger as cheers start to rise up. I don’t cheer with them, neither do I throw my arms up or smile. I just watch them come closer and wait for Arlon’s face. I press my lips together and lean up on my toes to get a better few. The hands are blocking my few as the shouts get louder. I get that they’re happy and glad, but they’re not helping me achieve my goal. I just want to see his face for a split second, to know that he’s alright.
When Connie looks down, his eyes lock with mine. He slows his horse down and gives me a small nod. It means a lot to me because I know Connie dislikes me. I nod back at him before he disappears from my sight, together with his sister.
It is then that I see his face. Blood is still splattered across his face and tunic, but he looks beautiful nonetheless. His horse carries him with grace as he keeps a bright smile on his face. He looks proud, and I want to be proud with him. It shocks me that I possess these feelings. They had a little victory against my people, against the ones my thoughts are now betraying. I should be disappointed, but my smile grows the longer I look at Arlon’s face. My face heats up when I realize I want to tell him about the things I have done when he was away. It embarrasses me that I want to tell him about meeting Ravi and spending time with Chay, or about how hard I’ve been working for his birthday festival. I want to tell him all these things the moment we get to talk. Unbelievable. I am truly falling for this man, and in a much quicker pace than I had first anticipated.