Chapter 34

Liam and Olivia stayed with us for a few hours helping unpack and moving all the new stuff for the baby into the baby’s new room. Owen seemed to think carrying a baby meant that I could not do anything for myself, and I quickly realized that it was going to be a struggle to convince him that I was still very much capable of functioning as I had before. I tried to explain to him that I could help them, even just carrying a few small items, but he was clear about wanting me to rest and not lift a finger. It was sweet, but also a little frustrating. I did not want to be a burden and I was still capable of doing a lot of things. I figured it is one of those things that will fade as time passes, so I had to be content with his overprotectiveness for a short time.

Although after all the things I had taken on as Luna while he had been unconscious, it was nice to relax a little and let him take over things for a bit. Later I would have to explain everything that had been happening and changing, but for now it was nice to be in our little domestic bubble even if it was just for a little while. Oliva was doing a good job of making sure the boys knew their job and where everything needed to go. It was very entertaining watching her boss them around for the last few hours and I would happily let her do it again. It was not every day that two men who tower over her in both height and build would happily follow directions like this. Especially an alpha, who is supposed to me respected and is used to giving orders rather than taking them.
He didn’t seem to mind at all though, and he couldn’t stop smiling helping Liam prepare everything. Once I had finished preparing lunch a called them all downstairs so that we could all sit and eat together.

“Mimi, you are going to love the nursery! Almost everything is put together!” Olivia said happily.

Her excitement made it hard to hold back a smile, she was going to be a great aunt. Liam looked tired but proud and was not shy about bragging about how easy everything was to put together, but I was sure I heard him cursing several times over the few hours I had been home. He was a good brother, and I knew he would make a wonderful uncle. One who would always be there for his nephew no matter what, and I was glad. Then there is Owen, the sweetest man I had ever met and yeah maybe I am biased because of our mate bond, but it was true. He had been an angel since we met and was exactly the kind of man I had hoped to meet one day.

He was so kind and loving to me and often I felt like I did not deserve someone so good. I looked at these three amazing people in my life and I felt absolutely blessed in every way that fate had brought them to me.

‘Mia, it was the moon goddess who sent you to them. You may not believe this now, but you are a light to everyone now. People will be drawn to you, because as the white wolf, your warmth and love will grow so big that it could touch every wolf who is near you. They love you because you are love itself. I know that may not make sense to you yet, but I hope you will see it soon.’ Anaya says.

I certainly didn’t feel like I was any of those things that she described, I felt more like I was an emotional mess that lacks confidence. Maybe if I had grown up knowing what I was and understand and accepting it, maybe I would not feel like such a stranger to myself. If I had been raised to see myself as someone important maybe I would feel like I was someone worth loving. Thinking back to my childhood always made me shutter from the memories it held. How was I going to be a good mother after the childhood I shared with Liam? My mother was not loving, she was not even well liked by most people. She was angry and bitter for so long that it was just the person she became. I never wanted to be a mother like that, but that was the only mother figure I ever had. How would I even know how to be any different? These thoughts had been running through my mind since I found out about the baby, I mean the ‘pup’. I wanted to be a good mother, and a good Luna. I wanted to be the best person I could be, and I was glad to have that desire. It meant that if I kept hoping to be good, then acting on it would be easier. I hope I can be everything Anaya says I can be.

I want to be hope and love and all those things, because it was something I had lost until I came here.

“So, Liam, how is the pack doing with the new training?” Owen asked clearing his throat.

I looked at him and saw sadness in his eyes. Had he heard everything I had been thinking just now? I felt guilty for letting him hear all those horrible things I had thought. If anything, he was the one who was full of hope and love and light out of the two of us. Even after everything he had been through, his smile was never forced. He always smiled like he was really happy to be in that moment, and that joy he felt was real. I loved that about him! He was never fake, and he always made me feel so happy when I was around him. He was the exact thing I needed in this life, and that made believe more than ever that fate had brought us together in the very moment I needed him.

“Most of the pack has trained and picked up the skills well, the weak ones are those who had never had training before. But they seem to be picking things up quickly.” Liam says proudly.
“And what about the younger boys, the teenagers?” Owen asked.
Liam turned to me not sure what to say, and Owen turned to me soon after.
“I told Liam that I would rather the teen boys not fight if the time comes. I think it is fine if they train, but when the time comes they should be with the other children. No child, not even a teenager, should have to see that sort of thing. They should not have to take a life at so young an age.” I say confidently.

But as soon as the words left my mouth I pulled back. I would have these moments of confidence that scared me sometimes because that was not me. It was me, but the new me and I feared her still. She was still a stranger, one with power and didn’t hold back. She was the me that had been silent for so long, but what was she capable of? That was what I feared most, not knowing everything I was capable of. How far would I go as the white wolf, how far had I gone when my instincts had kicked in and Anaya took over? When we fought with the alpha, she tried her best to block me out so I would not see everything she had done, and I was thankful for that.

I didn’t want to see the violence I could unleash on another person when I acted on instinct alone. I need that part of me, because a far worse fight was coming. We didn’t know when, but it was coming, and I needed to be ready to protect my pack no matter what.
Owen looked at me for a moment, and his pause made me regret my words. Had I made a mistake or overstepped?

“I think you are right. Thankfully even with my training I had never been put in the position of having to take a life at that age. And…” He stopped for a moment and smiled slightly. “I would not want my son to have to face such a choice at that age either. So, we will go ahead with your arrangement, train the boys but remind them that unless absolutely necessary they should not fight. They will be there to protect the small ones, woman, and older ones if it is needed.” Owen said with a nod.
“The mothers are also receiving training. Mimi thought it would be best for them to have some training so that more men could be sent to fight and the mothers would be able to protect themselves and their young.” Liam added happily.

I gave him a angry glare, what was he trying to do? I hadn’t told Owen all the changes I had made yet. I didn’t want to upset him, but there was my brother spilling everything on his first day home. I had wanted to wait to explain everything after Owen had rested more, but I guess that plan was long gone now.

“Well, I mentioned to you a little of the changes I made, but not everything. I wanted to wait until you had rested and healed more, but I guess we can talk now.” I say nervously.
“No, it’s ok! We can talk more about it tomorrow. We have had a long day, and it is only the first day home. Let’s enjoy the rest of the evening and deal with all pack matters tomorrow. Liam I will join you at the training field tomorrow morning to observe if that is alright.” Owen said firmly.

I glanced at him and he seemed deep in thought, and that made me nervous. I had been scared to make decisions about the pack without him, but someone needed to, and everyone was looking to me. Before I had moved her with Owen I hadn’t even met the pack yet, how was I supposed to know what was best for them? I had to show confidence and leadership, but I had been scared to death that one of those decisions would cost a pack member their life. I knew next to nothing about even being a werewolf before moving here, and there was still so much I needed to learn. Anaya had been giving me a crash curse on most things I needed to know, but I still had so much more to learn before I could be a confident and reliable leader. Owen had been train got be alpha his whole life, he would know what was best for the pack. Now that he was back, I needed to step aside and let him fix things.

The rest of lunch went by with more light with conversation and after we finished Liam and Olivia left. I was nervous about being alone with Owen, we had a lot to talk about and I was nervous. He sat down on the couch and let out a loud sigh dropping his head back and closing his eyes. I walked over to him cautiously standing behind the couch and looking down at him. He smiled softly when he sensed me standing over him.

“Are you scared of me?” He teased.
“No, more scared of how much I messed up.” I admit with a sigh as well.
He opened his eyes and looked back at me. “Come sit.”

He patted the seat beside him, and I happily did what he asked. Once I was sitting beside him he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to him.

“I am amazed at the things you have done. What we did in the past had been done for so long that no one dared to speak against them. It was just how everything had always been done and no one ever questioned the alpha’s wishes. I know you think I am angry with you, but it is the opposite. I am so proud of what you did. It’s time for things to change, and you are the one who has done that. I couldn’t be happier.” He smiled proudly and leaned in burring his face in my hair. “I have really missed this.”