Chapter fifty-three: I won't Leave You

Chapter fifty-three: I Won't Leave You

Jessica

"What about here?"

I was staring at my reflection in the mirror, pointing at the left side of my ribcage as I pulled my shirt above my breast. Jeffrey looked at me as he brushed his teeth, raising an eyebrow.

"Are you sure? It will hurt there."

I huffed and pulled my shirt down, wondering if the eagles would look cute on the back of my shoulder blade or on the front or maybe on the inside of my wrist. He finished brushing his teeth and faced me, grabbing the hem of my shirt and lifting it up.

"Get it there." He smirked, referring to the underside of my boobs.

"What the hell, Jeffrey?" I laughed and tugged my shirt down.

"I am not getting an underboob tattoo."

"Why not?" He cocked his head, placed his hand on my waist and pulled me close to him.

"It would look sexy there." I shook my head with a smile. He took my left wrist and held it up pointing to the inside of my arm.

"Here,"

"That is where I was thinking." I smiled.

Leaned down and kissed my forehead, letting my wrist go so he could intertwine our fingers. Even the simplest of romantic gestures was enough to make my heart flutter.

As we lay in bed that night, I kept looking at my bare wrist, picturing the eagles there and kept getting butterflies at the thought of having matching tattoos with Jeffrey.

He was already sound asleep next to me, his soft snores filling the quiet room and I couldn't even think about sleeping. I was too excited for tomorrow, for Paris, for Christmas and everything that is happening in the next few weeks.

Jeffrey then rolled over to face me, his arms draping over my waist and pulling me close. His head nuzzled into the nape of my neck and I glanced over carefully to see that he was still in a deep sleep. I gently kissed his forehead, seeing him stir only the slightest before his breathing returned to its normal pace.

It was so weird that I liked watching him sleep. He was so relaxed and carefree in this moment, no care in would, no stress, no problems. It was a little satisfying seeing him so peaceful. I eventually fell asleep, cuddled in his grasp and felt like I was on cloud nine.

The next morning, he woke me up by peppering my face with kisses.

"Umm," I groaned, stretching my limbs as my eyes fluttered open and I saw him standing next to the bed only wearing a pair of jeans.

"Hey, Princess." He smiled.

"It is almost eight-thirty and your tattoo appointment is at ten. I want to have enough time to eat and shower before we go." I nodded and rubbed the sleep from my eyes.

"Will you make me some pancakes while I shower?" I mumbled into the pillow, he chuckled and nodded.

"Yes of course."

I rolled out of the bed, he kissed my cheek before I headed into the bathroom. When I was done, I didn't bother putting on makeup. I packed my hair in a bun and headed downstairs to see Jeffrey placing my pancakes in front of me. I munched happily on my breakfast while he scrolled through his phone and sipped his freshly made coffee.

"Are you nervous?" I pressed my lips.

"I don't know, I think I am more nervous about the pain than anything else."

"It will be fine, Princess. I will be right there the whole time." I smiled and he sent me a little wink, sending my heart into a frenzy.

We finished breakfast and headed downtown towards the tattoo parlor. Jeffrey was holding my hand the whole ride and rubbing his thumb back and forth across my skin.

The closer we got to the parlor, the more I started to have a second thought about this tattoo. Am I making a mistake? We hadn't been dating for that long, why am I already getting a tattoo to commemorate him? He is so important to me but I am afraid of what could happen in the months or weeks to come.

"Princess?" His voice broke me out of my thoughts and I blinked a few times before realizing that we had reached the salon.

"Are you ready?"

I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out. Was I read? I had no idea.

"I ummm…I think maybe. I just don't know."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I don't know. I don't know if I can do this." I shake my head.

"This is crazy, this tattoo idea, I can't do it."

He turned his whole body to face me with his eyebrows furrowed.

"Princess, what is wrong? What are you going on about?"

I looked at him, seeing his concerned stare and feeling like melting into a puddle of feeling. What if I got this tattoo and he turned around and broke my heart the next week? I couldn't get this tattoo, I couldn't put myself in a situation like this.

"I am sorry, Jeffrey. I just can't do it." I said, feeling my breathing slowly accelerate. He quickly grabbed my hand.

"Are you scared of the pain? I promise I will be right there with you…."

"It is not about the pain, Jeffrey."

He was silent, just staring at me. I looked down at our intertwined hands and then up to meet his eyes. His lips were pressed together and he looked both confused and concerned over the situation.

"I am scared that, if I get this tattoo, what if you…. what if you leave me for good? Then I would have this stupid memory of my past permanently etched into my skin. I don't want that to happen aga…."

Tears began to fall and he immediately pulled me into his chest, holding me close as I cried into his shirt. I couldn't believe that I was so afraid of getting a measly tattoo but I was terrified of what could follow if I ended up getting it.

"Shhhh, Princess." He said, softly.

His hand rubbed up and down my back as I tried to slow my breathing.

"You don't have to get the tattoo if you don't want to." He said, calmly, leaning his cheek onto the top of my head.

"I won't make you go through with it."

I sniffed and pulled away, looking up at his softened features. He wiped away the stray tear with his thumb.

"I just want you to promise me that you will come back to me as soon as you can." He pressed his lips and the corner of his mouth turned up just the slightest.

"Of course, I will definitely come back to you. I will always come back to you." He reassured me.


******

"You are doing great, Princess. You are almost done."

He smiled at me as the tattoo artist inked my skin. My teeth were gritted and I was sure that I was squeezing his hand harder than I needed to.

"Gosh, this hurts. How do you do this so much?" I groaned, he shrugged with a cocky grin.

"I am immune to the pain."

The tattoo artist wiped away the last of the excess before speaking.

"Alright, we are done." I looked down at my wrist and gasped as to how similar they looked to Jeffrey's.

"Oh my gosh," I mumbled, holding my wrist up to his chest to compare the ink to his.

"It is nearly a spitting image." Jeffrey chuckled and took my hand, kissing my knuckles.

"You were so brave."

"Oh, stop." I rolled my eyes and then noticed his eyebrows slightly furrow, the smirk still evident on his face.

He would definitely be giving me a lecture for rolling my eyes at him if we weren't in the public. The artist bandaged up my tattoo and we thanked him. Jeffrey paid, trust me, there was more arguing over it because I wanted to pay for it myself.

As soon as we got back home, I instantly plopped down on the couch and sighed.

"That was tiring."

"All you did was sit there." He laughed.

"Yes but it takes a lot of you to deal with that kind of pain."

"You are right, Princess."

He sat next to me and draped his arms over my shoulder, letting his fingers play with my hair and I relaxed instantly.

"Can I ask you something?" He said.

"What?"

"Why are you so scared that I might break your heart?" I remained quiet.

"Princess, please tell me. It was like something was weighing you down." I sighed

"I had a boyfriend when I was in high school, although we didn't have sex. It was pure love, he also treated me like a queen and we even made plans for our future. When I told him that I had found a university we could study and probably lived together but then he flat out, said we were done, that he didn't want to be with me anymore." Tears were already flowing as the memories flooded.

"He told me that the reason is because he has made amends with his ex-girlfriend that he was using me all these time, waiting for her to break up with her boyfriend so he can return to her. He dumped me to get back with his ex-girlfriend, so I was so scared that you would also dump me to get back with your ex-wife. I remembered her saying that her door is always open for you." He tightened his grip on me.

"That is why I am so worried about us. I don't want something like that to happen again. I don't want to get my hopes up to be disappointed in the long run."

He pulled me into an embrace, his strong arms holding me close and I eventually wrapped my arms around him. He didn't speak, I wanted him to say something, to react but he remained quiet.

We pulled away and his hand caressed my cheek as he gently kissed my lips. Our mouths molded together slowly and I relished in the softness of his lips. He broke the kiss and pressed his forehead against mine to make me look into his eyes.

"I won't ever leave you, I promise you from the depth of my heart. I will never leave you." I let out a shaky breath and nodded.

"I trust you."