Chapter 99 - Fading gray

**Ambrogios pov**

I don’t know what’s worse..the fire in my veins and in my throat, the bloody cough, the cold sweats and the nightmares or my worry about Zandra. I haven’t heard from Great Falls or from Zara, I know she is there watching over her, she wrote me as much. It’s ok with me, if she can help her in any way it’s better than her being here to witness my misery.
There is a light knock on the door and Tony enters.
“Father, how are you feeling?” I heave a deep sigh and shake my head in response. “I have something that might make you feel a little better.” He opens the door again and says something to someone outside. Two of my children comes in and between them hangs a man, he is conscious but I can see they gave him a solid round of beating.
“This is one of the survivors, a son of the sun. He was found in one of the labs, hiding like a cowardly little rat while his comrades died in battle.” Tony’s voice is full of contempt for the man as he spits out his presentation. I give him a weak nod and watch him grab by the man’s hair and pulls him towards my bed..toward his death. I can feel the taste of fear and defeat in the man’s blood. It’s the worst taste, but I don’t drink for the taste, I drink to push Luna’s blood away..I know it won’t be for very long but even a small break are welcome. When the man is empty, he is dragged out of the room again. Tony stays and pulls a chair to my side and sits down.
“There are a few more in the storage waiting to be drained.” He says with a slightly cocky smile before he continue.
“I have no news from Great Falls yet, Joe has promised to contact me as soon as he hears anything. I have to say Father..that I am a little confused. I have never understood the meaning of this witch to you”
“It’s not something you need to understand..like I said before, you have her sacrifice to thank for your existence, that should be significant enough.” My voice comes out judgmental and irritated. Tony doesn’t take offense, he’s seen me like this before. “Of course that’s enough father. But if you ever need to talk or confide in someone, I’m here and I don’t judge.” He gives me a smile and a wink. and I feel myself getting a little better, Tony often has that effect. A while later the rest of my trueborns came in and joined us, this was also something I was used to. Moments after I drank and pushed away the toxic blood, I was mostly healthy and they wanted to spend time with me. You might think I just need to keep drinking but it doesn’t really work that way. I have tried. Luna’s blood does not disappear, it remains and grows more aggressive as time goes on. My own body has to let it pulse through me until it can be absorbed. But a break now and then is not wrong.
We discuss and plan for the coming weeks. As I myself will be unavailable, I give Tony supreme command. He is the one I trust the most. They are all capable of leading, but he has the soundest view of the world around us. The peace with the wolves must be kept, nothing can happen to break it, not on our initiative. Should anyone break this, the person shall be imprisoned pending my return. Focus must be placed on mapping the hunters, not only the Sons of the Sun but also other phalanxes. The mixed race clubs are a good place to keep getting information, rogue wolves as well. I want accurate reports of what is found, so all information must be double-checked.
When all the guidelines are set, they stay for a while longer and we just hang out, talk about memories. I find out that Brad got a groupie that he himself doesn’t find completely uninteresting, that makes the rest of us laugh and shake our heads. We’ve all learned to stay away from groupies, they romanticize life as a vampire after watching way too many movies. That’s why we never turn them, it never ends well. That doesn’t mean he can’t enjoy her. It’s nice to have them here and for a while, It gives me other things to think about and concentrate on. But when they’re gone and I’m alone, the worries creep up again. I take my phone to see if I got anything new from Zara, but there is nothing. There are some other messages from my ranked children around the world, wishing me a speedy recovery. I scroll through them without answering. I’m reading the news and an article about a burning laboratory building catches my interest. The cover story was apparently that the wrong chemical was kept in the wrong tank and a chain explosion had started. The death toll was unfortunately high among the employees, but it could be guaranteed that there was no danger to the public, no toxic chemicals would be spread into water or air, the clean-up work was already in full swing. I’m looking for the source of the information, a company name, or anything that might help us track down the Sons of the Sun but there’s nothing in the article. I’ll send the link to Tony and tell him to look into it. Using our contacts in the media can be a good start. He responds with a thumbs up and I leave the subject.
I keep scrolling but nothing else catches my interest and I feel the anxiety creeping back in. I try to push it away, try to tell myself that everything is okay..she is okay..I close my eyes and in the absence of Luna’s blood I fall asleep. I don’t know how much time has passed when I wake up again from a nightmare and feel the lava in my veins. This dream was not based on truth as many of my dreams usually were. No, this started out as the sweetest fantasy. I work in a field while the sun burns on my back. Far away I hear someone calling my name with the most beautiful voice so I turn towards the sound. Zandra..she stands in the doorway of a small cabin and calls for me. I start to jog slowly towards her, eager to take her in my arms and kiss her. I see an arm around her waist and her smile disappears. Someone is behind her, I run faster to get to her but stop when I see a face over her shoulder. The face is my own. My teeth tear at her throat and I hear myself laugh as the fountain from her throat paints my face red. Zandra’s now lifeless body falls to the ground and the warm gray eyes now look at me, cold and dead.
I wake up shaking and drenched in my own sweat. The fire and pain in my body is back. The dream of Zandra’s death lingers..her cold gaze refuses to leave me.
I get out of bed and walk over to the mirror. The picture I see is not something I want to show Zandra, but I can’t help it, I have to try to reach her..feel her. I can’t wait for reports from Great Falls, and being in the dark is eating me up inside. I look myself deep in the eyes and concentrate on the warm gray lines in my golden ones..If she was gone, surely they would also disappear?
“Zandra..Zandra, can you hear me? I need you to wake up..you need to snap out of it..can you hear me?” My voice is hoarse and strained and using it hurts terribly, but I don’t care, I have to try. Normally when I talk to her I can feel her presence, even if she never answers me or in any way confirms it, I feel her presence. But not now, the only thing I feel is coldness and emptiness.
“Zandra..please..I know you hate me..use that hate if you have to..use it to get back..you’re not done..you’re not done before me..” I see the warm gray the stripes become a tone paler and panic grips me.
“Don’t you dare Zandra!” I roar at my reflection and taste my own blood in my mouth.
“I swear to become more evil than ever if you give up Zandra, you hear that!? I will paint the world red, I will kill every witch and every wolf. I will order all my children into war..if I have an ounce of goodness in me it will die with you..do you hear that?” I know these are empty threats but I must do everything in my power to get her to react and this is the only way I know. My legs give way and I cling to the dresser in front of me to keep from falling, but my arms are no stronger and the last thing I see before I slump down on the floor is the gray color fading further.