Chapter 114 - An answer from beyond

**Zandras pov**

I stood with my eyes on the small lantern in the window. The fragile glass and the weak frames. Over the years I had used my magic numerous times to put a protective spell over it so it wouldn't lose the battle against time. It was just a simple lantern, nothing special about it at all and we had several in the little croft when I was growing up. But it was this one...this one I lit that night when I came back from the cave, the one that showed me my parents bloody bodies on the floor and in a way lit the way to the difficult future I was assigned..my destiny. Maybe I should have fled to Brenda and the others already that day, but the rage inside me was too great.
I felt him again today, he was sleeping, worried. His dreams and feelings reached me as in waves, sometimes calm, like rings on the water and sometimes like in raging storms. Most of the time I can feel them sneaking up, but this morning I was caught off guard, which resulted in broken china and my breakfast spread all over the floor. It was a dream filled with fear. Not the fear of blood, monsters and carnage that others would call nightmares. No, the fear circled around lost identity, and I recognized it, all too well. He was lost, and so was I. I tried to calm him down, sending him images of bygone times, dark night skies and bloody battlefields to interrupt and change his dreams and it usually calmed him down which in turn gave me some peace and quiet as well. I had expected him to seek contact, to call out to me through the mirror as he had done so many times before. “Hey beautiful, are you feeling better? Do you miss me as much as I miss you? I can still feel your lips against mine...” It would have been so typical of him, teasing me in the most charming way...but he had been silent, absent, his restless sleep was all that reached me and I often found myself to look in the mirror to make sure that his golden streak in my gray eyes was still there.
I wasn’t stupid, I was old enough to understand what was happening and that this was going to be a tug of war. We had both walked the path of destiny for so long, staying on the safe solid path even when side roads beckoned. I had held on by passing on the stories from generation to generation and he by living up to them. But now the road was ruined, washed away in a river of chaos and for the first time I didn’t know which of the side roads was safe. Was it one that would lead back to the safe path on the other side or was it one that changed our destiny entirely? I left my place by the window after once more muttering a protection spell over the lantern. The air outside was somewhat sultry and I found myself wishing for rain. It was nothing that I couldn’t solve, but unlike Tatiana, I only called on the forces of nature in extreme cases. Tatiana, a very strong dark witch. She had impressed me. I have known several of her predecessors, but she and I have never crossed paths. I wonder how he got her to help, maybe I didn’t want to know. Maybe I’ll ask her if we meet again.
I walked the familiar path towards the lake, my fingers caressing the bushes I passed on my way. I picked some sun-warmed berries and savored the taste of the sweet juice...too much had happened in the last few months and I hadn’t taken the time to enjoy nature and its gifts. The lake was calm, only the rings of the slowly flowing waterfall disturbing the shiny surface. I undressed at the shore and waded out. I’ve always thought the water felt like a motherly embrace, maybe because it was where I once healed and found comfort.
I let the lake swallow me, enjoying the dull sounds beneath the surface. As if the water could sense my body’s need for comfort and strength, I felt its magic in my cells as it soothed and rebuilt me. The fatigue disappeared and my thoughts became clearer. The feeling of confusion and uncertainty was replaced by clarity and realisation. Where my hands were dry from rubbing in nervousness, they were now once again smooth and moisturized. The worry wrinkles that in the last week have become significantly deeper on my face were smoothed out and the muscles around my eyes relaxed. I had never used the lake to keep me young but somewhere it felt like it knew I wasn’t done yet, like I had more to accomplish and it was giving me what it could to help me. I let the surface carry me while I was rocked by the calm waves. The sky above me still showed no sign of rain so I stayed in the fresh water a little longer than usual.
As always, I felt reborn when I stepped onto the beach. My muscles were strong and my mind sharp. However, there was nothing the lake could do to heal or lighten my heart. I walked up to the great oak, my fingers following the inscriptions and as usual they lingered on one of the words, sister. I wonder what she would think of me now, would she understand? Would she be disappointed? I sat down and leaned against the strong trunk, just like I used to lean against her, Aayla, my friend, my protector...my sister.
*“You will continue long after I am gone.”*
*“Please don’t talk like that…* *we protect each other and I’m not going to let you leave me.”*
*“You know what I mean Zandra,* *I didn’t ask Selene for immortality for me,* *that part only applied to Luna and even if I were to grow old and die of natural causes,* *you’d still be here, for as long as he is.* *You saw to that and that’s a good thing.”* In her green eyes, the flames from the fire in front of us were reflected and they seemed to glow. I could see the hunger in them. We had traveled a long time without crossing paths with the vampires and Aayla was getting restless and impatient. She did not live for the beautiful nature around us, the various creations of the Gods that we witnessed daily, and even though she loved all her strong beautiful children, her creation, they were not the ones who drove her to continue, they were not the ones who made her train for hours upon hours or stare into the fire in the evenings. Aayla was driven by revenge and revenge alone.
*You’ll help Luna continue the fight until the day you can drive wood through his heart…* *what a glorious day it will be and how I wish I could be there.”*
*“You will be Aayla, no matter how long it takes you will always be with me.”*

“I wonder what you would say to me now, if you could read my mind, see my dreams and feel my heart. Could you see beyond the desire for revenge? Could you see the change in the man who was once the monster you hunted?… Would you accept that everything has changed? If I can forgive him, can you?” The faint wind carried my whispers up among the branches of the tree. I used to think she could hear me, that she was there. Her cells, merged with those of the oak. Her bones held by its roots deep down under, her flesh that mouldered and nourished the once young trunk and helped it grow wide and strong. Her persistence and strong will were visible every spring when the leaves came out, their green color a reminder of her eyes.
The wind picked up a bit and looking back up at the sky I could see clouds starting to form, maybe the rain would come to clear the air after all. As I stood up, a branch fell from the tree and impaled itself on the ground beside me. The branch was not dead or diseased but had broken off in a clean cut from one of the thicker branches. It was not a twig, nor was it large, but rather a small and solid branch. It was with a heavy heart that I pulled it out of the ground and weighed it in my hand, it had the perfect size and thickness to carve a dagger from. I was not surprised. I looked up at the leafy crown of the tree as the first tears left my eyes.
“I guess I have your answer...” Then I turned and walked the familiar path back, the branch in my hand as heavy as my heart.