Chapter 107 - Keeping it together

**Ambrogios pov**

The room was comfortably lit by smaller lamps and the moon outside. It could have been pitch black it wouldn’t have mattered, the darkness became my friend a long time ago and I could see as well as any accustomed nocturnal animal. When I closed the door I couldn’t move, she was here, just a few feet from me. For the first time since I left her in the cave, we breathed the same air. The moon’s rays hit her silver hair where she slept peacefully on the bed. She looked divine…Celestial.
“Hey beautiful...I know I’m not invited but you don’t have to be mad, I won’t be staying long. Your relatives will come soon and throw me out anyway, they’ll prepare you for...never mind, I’m sure they’ll explain it better than I can.” Jeez, I was babbling. *Get a grip! You’re the prince of darkness, the Father to vampires but you’re acting like a schoolgirl.* I whispered to my self.
“Hrm..so, I just wanted to say a few things before...they come, I don’t know if I’ll get the chance again.” I gathered my courage and approached the bed. I stopped by the foot end and looked at her as she lay in front of me. She was dressed in white, a long nightgown of some kind and her feet were bare. I took them in my hands and horrible images flashed in my head. She was still lying with her arms at her sides and eyes closed...but she wasn’t dressed in white, she was naked, bloody and torn, her beautiful hair in tangled strands of dried blood and the salt from her tears. That’s how I left her in the cave after I untied her. I fell to the floor on my knees and pressed her feet against my head, I wasn’t worthy to be anywhere else...I wasn’t worthy more than the dirt under her shoes.
“I’m so sorry Zandra…so sorry…I’ll never be able to ask you to forgive me because I know I don’t deserve it but I can swear this to you, if you want I will always be your servant, what you ask of me you shall have. If you want to take my life, I will gladly give it to you. The gods have been cruel enough to pair us as soulmates but I will never claim you…I would never do that to you…I will accept your rejection and the pain it brings. I only ask you one thing...come back...not to me but to those who deserve the light you bring into their lives, born and unborn, they need you.” I wanted so badly to crawl into bed and take her in my arms, protect her from anything bad ever happening to her again, but I stayed at the bottom of her feet. I don’t know how long I had been sitting there talking to her when it knocked on the door. Hope poked her head in and peeked before entering and closing the door behind her.
“Are you okay?..They want to come in now so we need to leave the room.” I could only look at her at first, what an outstanding woman. I had only known her for a short time but with Luna as a part of her it felt like Aayla herself was in front of me.
“I’m sorry..”
“For what?”
“For everything...for everything I put you through..all of you...”
“Hey…no, not now okay, we can’t do this now.” She came down to my level and put her hands on my shoulders.
“Listen to me, I’m glad you have your heart back, I really am, but now is not the time to dwell on the past, there will be time for that later, I promise, you will get your chance to make amends. But now it’s about Zandra so I want to see that tough, determined man who would do anything for her, like rally a bunch of white witches to the territory of a warrior pack, okay!? So snap out of it!” She shook me but right now I just wanted to sit here and feel the warmth of Zandra’s feet against my head.
“Come on! Please!” I heard her but closed my eyes and tried to wish her away.
(((AMBROGIO!!!))) Luna’s roar literally sent me flying to my feet. Luna, I owed her almost as much as Zandra, I wasn’t going to let her down.
“Hrm..eh..hehe..I’m not used to all these feelings..I lost myself there for a little while..but I’m okay now, no problem.” I don’t know if I was trying to convince her or myself but she rolled her eyes and stood up.
“Sure, can you try to hold yourself together? I…I need your strength in this.” She said it quietly but I heard her and my heart skipped an extra beat..how could I get used to this?
“What did you say? I didn’t hear, can you repeat that?”
“Don’t push it..”
“Just once, I just want to make sure I heard that right, You need?...”
She hit me on the chest and I caught her hand and chuckled.
“I’m here, I promise.”
“Good..I’m glad..”

Several of the white witches were with Zandra. Tatiana and a few others went through the steps with Callum and Cathy explaining what was required of them. I saw the frustration in Callum as he repeatedly failed the exercises they gave him. Hope pulled him aside, I couldn’t hear what she said but I could see how he relaxed and how the irritation drained from him. The next time he tried, he got it right.
“Hi…” I froze when I heard Zara’s voice behind me.
“Can we talk?”
“There’s no need Zara…I’m not mad…not particularly happy either, but I know why you acted the way you did. Actually, I should be thanking you.”
”Thank me?”
“Well, if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have met Hope, the butterfly effect would have looked different and we probably wouldn’t be sitting here today.”
“That’s one way of looking at it too I guess.” She sat down next to me and together we watched Hope and Callum.
“I should have realized..what we had was nowhere near that.”
“I’m sorry…” She looked down at her hands.
“Don’t give me that bullshit Zara.”
“But I should...”
“You did what you thought you should do and you did damn well if I may say so myself...Normally I would probably have ripped your throat out and not even bothered to drink you...” I saw how the color left her face. Sure, she was a good witch and she tricked me but she knew that if I wanted her dead, there wasn’t much she could do to stop me.
“But there is nothing normal about this, so you can relax.” I stood up, wanting to put some space between us.

“She is ready.” Adriana and the others joined the rest of us. I felt the nervousness creeping in, for the first time in a long time I didn’t know what to do. Sure, I was the composer and the witches were here to perform my work...but where was my place now? Should I stay here? Should I go with them but stay in the background.
“Someone needs to go up and get her and carry her to the lake.” Adriana’s gaze wandered between the men in the room. Callum, his beta, Tony Brad, even Tatiana’s men..but she skipped me. Ouch!
“I’ll do it” Callum volunteered. But Hope put a hand on his chest and stopped him, I could see Luna in her eyes, she was just under the surface.
“I think you should do it.” She looked straight at me and the other followed her gaze.
“It’s actually not a bad idea, we need an anchor, preferably two.” Tatiana looked first at me and then at Hope before continuing.
“She bound her soul to you guys , didn’t she? When we tear down the barrier, we need an anchor to pull her here and holding her here..at first I thought the bridge was enough, but this is perfect!” She gave us a big smile and clapped her hands.
“Ambrogio, do you want me to come with you?” Hope looked at me and I know she was worried about me falling apart again.
“No..Its okay, we’ll be right down.” I stood up and pushed all my anxiety away. The people in the room could only see the coldhearted evil Father of the night. All except for Hope.
As soon as I entered the room, I felt it creeping back. The regret, the shame, the unworthiness..fuck, life with a heart of stone was so much easier. I gritted my teeth. I can do this. She was light in my arms and nothing had ever felt more right. I held her close and even though I could have walked the way back with my eyes closed, I was careful with every step I took. Her breath danced on the skin where my top shirt buttons were unbuttoned and her hair tickled my chin, I pressed her a little harder against me and smiled. It doesn’t matter how angry she is or how much she hates me if she comes back, I will remember the feeling of her closeness in this moment for as long as I live. Making sure no one saw me, I bent my head and kissed hers.