81: The center of a war she doesn’t understand.

**Killian pov**

*You don’t win wars by bleeding, you win by watching others do it.* 

Those words echo in my mind during the weirdest of moments. Back in the day, my grandfather used to repeat them, the poor bastard was counting his last days and still repeated the saying. Fuck it, before he took his last breath, he held my hand and whispered those words. 

Now, as I stood in the mountains, surrounded by nothing but snow, the unforgiving presence of nature, my own thoughts and my men who scouted the area like crazy, I realized just how true his words were. 

As an Alpha, my main priority had to be to protect my back, but instead, like many others - I stood aside, barked orders and watched others do what I had to. 

But even as I stood here, I didn’t hurry to join the men who patrolled the area. I just stood and kept breathing simply because I wasn’t in a rush. 

A chuckle escaped me as I thought back to what happened at the cabin. Maybe my current thoughts were also the biggest difference between someone like me and someone like Beta Zion. Men like him moved because they needed to while men like me did it because we wanted to. 

And today, I wanted to see the cabin, but I didn’t make a move to step out of the cover just yet. I just stood there and watched how the smoke from the chimney disappeared within the tall trees. 

This place was peaceful, eerily so. However, I also knew that peace never lasted for long in packs like Bane’s and with his closest people here, I was sure it would shatter soon enough.

“Alpha?” I glanced over my shoulder, not surprised by the sound of the familiar voice - Jonathan. “I figured I’d find you brooding in the forest.”

“Don’t confuse watching with brooding.” I chuckled and looked down at him when he stopped right at my side. “You should know the difference by now.”

Jonathan chuckled and shook his head. “You’ve been gone for a while. The others are starting to wonder if you left, Zion is coming up with ideas about you being eaten by a bear or something.”

I shrugged and focused my gaze back on the cabin, “I wouldn’t leave without a warning, Jonathan. There’s pretty important cargo in that cabin, I can’t run around like a fool without responsibilities now. I swore to protect her and look after her, so here I am.” 

Jonathan glared at me like my words offended him personally. “Alpha, Aife isn’t a cargo.” 

I arched an eyebrow. “Really? Alright, think about it then - she is pregnant and vulnerable. As if that isn’t enough, she’s also the center of a war she doesn’t understand is happening out there. In my opinion, that makes her cargo, whether you like it or not.” 

“Alpha,” Jonathan hissed. The warning in his tone wasn’t sharp or rough, never had been, but it was a warning nevertheless. 

I liked this side of Jonathan - no longer the posh driver, but a warrior. But, at the same time, whenever he acted like this, he was careful enough to imply that he was ready to fight, but not if it meant that I would stop talking to him. 

I approached a nearby pine tree, leaned against it and finally met his gaze. “You came out in the cold, all the way out here to play knight in shining armor?”

Jonathan snorted out a laugh and approached me until he was close enough to slap my arm. “No, I came here because you didn’t answer my call and  maybe I wanted to make sure you weren’t lying dead somewhere with your throat torn out.”

I grinned at him. “Aww, that’s sweet.” 

Jonathan’s cheeks turned a beautiful shade of pink as he looked away and grumbled, “it’s practical.” 

“Same thing,” I shrugged and glanced at the cabin through the trees. “So far, so good, no one has approached the mountains, but I still insist on having someone watching the area round the clock. I’ve assigned quite a few warriors to the task and they’ll rotate shifts so you guys should be safe here.” 

“I know,” Jonathan muttered, “I called a few more of the lower ranks to ensure there’s someone at the bottom of the mountain. Just in case, you know.” 

I glanced at him, eyebrow raised. “And you didn’t tell me?”

“I assumed you’d notice, you always do. But that’s a good thing, isn’t it? If we have someone at the bottom, they can warn us if someone suspicious approaches the mountain.” Jonathan said. 

I huffed out a breath of amusement. “Good, that’s probably why I keep you around.”

Jonathan didn’t respond right away. Instead, he chewed his lip, looked down at his boots and kicked some snow around before he grumbled, “that’s not the only reason.”

“No, it’s not.” I agreed. 

Jonathan looked up at me, eyes wider than usual, full of hope. Deep down, I knew what the look in those eyes meant, but I wasn’t ready to acknowledge it just yet. Since he wouldn’t look away for far too long, I did. 

After a moment, I cleared my throat and spoke again. “Two pregnant women under one roof, a Beta with a hero complex, and a broken Alpha rotting from inside out. Tell me again why I agreed to this.”

Jonathan didn’t answer, he just moved closer and stood right next to me, shoulder brushing mine. “I don’t know. Probably because you and Aife managed to form an unlikely friendship and I’m pretty sure now, you’d agree to anything if only she asked for it. 

“Shit,” I cursed under my breath but didn’t deny his words. 

Truth be told, Jonathan was right. Now, if Aife asked me for something, I’d scramble on hands and knees to hand her whatever it is. She was a precious woman, one of a kind, and despite everything, I wanted to be her friend. 

Jonathan watched me again and after a while, like the smartass he was, he decided to bring up lesser of the problems that I had brought up during one of our phone calls. “And because Milly is stirring trouble back at the pack again.”

“Careful, Jonathan, don’t overstep the boundaries,” I grumbled. 

“She’s Aife’s sister,” Jonathan reminded, his voice far too gentle for the anger that kept burning in my chest at the mention of her name alone. 

“She’s a problem,” I corrected and then glared at him. “And I’m dealing with it.”

Jonathan snorted, “by ignoring her?”

“By making sure she’s kept busy enough to stay out of my way.” I hissed and ran a hand through my hair.

Jonathan tilted his head. “You think she’ll stay that way for long?”

“No, but I need a little more time before I decide what I’m going to do with her.”

He looked at me like I had grown another head, clearly not buying a word that left my lips. “You’re not going to tell me what she’s done, are you?”

“No.”

“She’s started recruiting again, hasn’t she?” He guessed, instantly jumping to the worst possibility - typical Jonathan’s fashion. I glanced at him and snarled to let him know he was closer than I liked.
Jonathan ran a hand through his hair. “Fine, don’t tell me, but if she becomes a threat to Aife, or the baby-”

“She won’t,” I cut him off, my tone way sharper than I intended it to be. “I would never let that happen.”

He looked down at his boots, kicking some snow again before he whispered, “sometimes I wonder if I’m a threat.”

That made me pause. How could he assume he could be a threat if so far, he has been anything but that? I turned to stand face to face with him, “Jonathan.” He didn’t bother to react, so I kept talking. “You’re not a threat. If anything, you’re my solution to how to keep her safe.”

Jonathan finally looked up at me again and rolled his eyes. “That’s not better.”

“It is to me.” I insisted, refusing to back down. 

“I don’t want to be a tool, Alpha.” He said and crossed his arms. The action was too familiar to be ignored - Jonathan did this every time he started closing off, the last thing I needed on my plate right now. 

I reached out and placed a hand on his jaw, my thumb grazing his cheek before I pulled back and stepped aside. “Follow me, we need to discuss strategy. Just in case.” 

I led him further away from the cabin, to the old wooden bench I found on my way here. As soon as we approached it, I sank into it and tilted my head back, letting the cold bite at my skin. The wind was harsh up here, but I liked it. 

Jonathan finally stopped pacing and sat beside me, his shoulders tense. “I know what you’re doing.” He muttered as I turned my head to look at him but didn’t speak. “You’re sitting out here waiting for me to ask again, aren’t you?” 

“You never need to ask, you always come find me anyway.” I chuckled and shook my head, wondering how Jonathan always managed to change the topic this smoothly. 

He sighed, and rubbed his hands together. “You scared them. Aife, Zion, even Kala - hell, I think the only one who doesn’t look like they’re considering throwing you off the mountain is the baby.”

“Babies are smarter than people,” I said dryly.

Jonathan laughed despite himself. “The baby in question still resides inside its mother’s body. But that’s not the point, what I meant is you could try being a little less intimidating.”

“I could,” I said, met his eyes and grinned as widely as the cold biting at my skin allowed. “But I won’t.”

That shut him up for a moment. Jonathan’s brows pulled together, clearly deep in thought before he cleared his throat and spoke. “Do you even care if they trust you?”

“No,” I answered flatly. 

He nodded, a little disappointed, but not surprised. “And you wonder why Zion looks at you like you’re about to slit someone’s throat in their sleep.”

“I don’t wonder that, I’d slit his throat in broad daylight if I had a reason.” I admitted. 

Jonathan gasped, his eyes growing comically large, “Alpha-”

I cut him off with a dry laugh and slapped a hand on his shoulder. “Relax, Jonathan. I don’t think about doing that. Yet.”

Jonathan glared at me but there was no hatred in that gaze as he tried to explain, “you must remember that they don’t know you the way I do. Even Aife is becoming less trusting.” 

“I know and that’s the point. They are not supposed to know me the way you do.” 

“But you want Aife to trust you, don’t you?” He asked, frowning at me. 

“She already does.” I shrugged. 

“Not entirely, at least not anymore. She’s scared for her pup, Alpha. She’s also confused and if you keep acting like you don’t give a damn about her safety past the initial flash of kindness towards her, she’s going to pull away. Or, even worse, try to run.” 

“She won’t.” 

“And if she does?” Jonathan insisted. 

“In that case, if that ever happens, we both will know I’ve failed her.”

Jonathan’s eyes widened a fraction as he swallowed loudly. “You didn’t fail her, Alpha, you saved her.” 

I didn’t know how to respond or react to his words, so I looked into the distance until he spoke again. “What’s the plan? With two pregnant women, a pack on the verge of collapse, and half the wolves in the region wondering where the fuck Bane went?”

“We hold our ground, we listen more than we talk. That’s the most we can do right now,” I explained in a whisper. 

Jonathan nodded but didn’t offer any ideas or his thoughts on the plan that wasn’t really a plan. The best thing for Aife and her unborn child for now was to lay low and ensure both of them survived. 

We sat in silence, seemingly content by the calm presence of nature that surrounded us until eventually, Jonathan thought of another question. “What have you heard about Alpha Bane?”

I let out a heavy breath and pinched the bridge of my nose. “From my own? Or from the ones that ran to me with stories and pleas for refuge?”

Jonathan didn’t answer, just stared at me, expecting the answer anyway so I shared what I knew. “They say he’s not just cursed anymore. His own claim there’s more to his madness than meets the eye, but none agreed to go into details.” 

Jonathan closed his eyes and nodded, willing me to continue. “They claim Bane doesn’t scream when that thing takes over, but he has started whispering or some shit.” Jonathan looked like he wanted to throw up and struggled to swallow when I added, “and there’s more.” 

“Don’t,” he hissed, eyes still closed. 

“You need to hear it.” I insisted. “I’m not planning to step into that cabin again, unless absolutely necessary, so you need to know everything in case he shows up. You’ll be the one who warns Aife.” 

“Alpha-”

I quickly cut him off and blurted out, “there’s talk of the Lycan King taking interest.”

Jonathan’s eyes snapped open, mouth agape, “you’re lying!”

“I wish I were.”

“How? Why would he-” Jonathan tried to form questions, but I didn’t give him enough time. 

“Because monsters recognize their own.” I stated. 

Many would scold me for saying such words, but they were true. Lycan King was a monster of his own kind and now that Bane was turning into something monstrous as well, it only made sense the King wanted to find out more. 

“And what do we do if it’s really true? The King taking interest in what’s going on?” Jonathan asked, his voice barely above a whisper, as if he was scared to be overheard. 

Slowly, I shifted until I sat facing him completely and met his eyes. “First, we pray it isn’t true. Second, if it is, we prepare for a war this world has never seen before.”