2: Room 312.
**Jonathan pov**
I felt so many different things all at once that I couldn’t even explain what I felt.
Fear was one of the most intense emotions, that was for sure, but there also was a strong sense of relief, longing and many more things.
As much as I liked understanding everything and being able to tell what was going on, the conflicting feelings weren’t important to me.
He was. Killian was my main priority.
As I ran to the hospital, I probably looked like someone had set my ass on fire, but I didn’t care. Only he mattered, not how I looked to others.
The moment I opened the doors and rushed inside, some of the nurses glanced at me, nodded and smiled as if they knew something I didn’t.
One of them stepped in my way and stopped me right before I was about to run down the hall and check every room until I’d find him.
“Don’t you need the room number?” She asked with a slight grin.
“Yes, yes,” I breathed out, frantically running a hand through my hair. “Room number, what’s the room number?”
The grin on her lips only spread wider as she clutched the folder she held to her chest. “Alpha Killian is in recovery room 312.”
“Thank you,” I said quickly, spun on my heel and rushed towards the hall that led to the room he was in.
I didn’t pay much attention to the knowing looks I was getting for some reason, but just before I made another turn to get to him, the nurse that had stopped me called after me.
“Hurry up, Jonathan, Alpha said he really wanted to see his man.”
Those words damn near stopped me in my tracks and I choked on my saliva, but I tried not to show the intense reaction.
Glancing back, I saw them all grin like maniacs at me, but again, I tried my best to ensure those words didn’t land too close to my heart.
This was dangerous. Killian probably was talking bullshit because of the injuries and surgery, he had to have a reaction to medicine or something.
No, I couldn’t let myself believe there was any truth to her words because that was a sure, disastrous scenario that could lead me only to a sure heartbreak.
Somehow, I pulled myself back together, calmed down my wild heart and finally found room 312.
I stood at the door, taking calming breaths before I reached out to grab the handle and push the door open.
On shaky legs, I slipped inside and my gaze instantly focused on Killian.
He lied on the bed, eyes closed, looking so much at peace, I hadn’t seen him like this ever before.
He was as beautiful as ever, a perfection trapped in a body that was too gorgeous for his own good.
Slowly, carefully, I took the first step towards him, then the next and the next until somehow, my legs brought me to his side.
I tried my best to stay calm and quiet as I sat down next to his bed, then slowly placed my shaking hand over his.
Sparks flew at the touch. Fuck me, ducking sparks flew, exploded and traveled through my body so violently, I couldn’t breathe for a moment there.
Killian blinked his eyes open and turned his head to look at me, a slight, gentle smile across his lips.
While he looked so at peace, so fucking beautiful, I couldn’t breathe and my eyes widened so much, I had to have looked like a goddamn bug.
And then, just to torture me, he absolutely had to part his lips and lick them. Goddess, I wanted to kiss him so bad. If only just once to learn how soft his lips could feel against mine.
How I still had the ability to hold back was beyond me, but it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt any less to be this close to him yet unable to act upon my feelings.
I released a soft breath, somehow, and tightened my hold on his hand as I whispered, “hey.”
Killian laughed and instantly winced in pain. I could see the shift in his behavior, despite his attempt to hide it. “Hey? That’s what you say to a man who almost kissed death?”
Chuckling, I shook my head. “Don’t be dramatic, I wouldn’t allow you to die even if you begged me. I knew you’d pull through, you’re too stubborn to leave just yet.”
Killian grinned at me like I had just given him the greatest compliment in his entire lifetime.
To my utter surprise, he slid his hand out of my hold and instead, brought it to my cheek. “You’re so pretty,” he whispered.
My cheeks burned bright red but I tried to play off the reaction as if it was nothing special. He had to be stuck in some drug induced state, that explained his weird behavior.
“How are you feeling?” I asked, voice hoarse, needing anything to distract him and ensure we didn’t remain on the topic that was becoming too painful to focus on.
This weird attitude and compliments were a literal hammer to my painfully beating heart.
“Why won’t you acknowledge how pretty you are, Johnny?” Killian asked instead.
No, seriously, this man was having some hardcore fever dreams or messing with me. My heart couldn’t take it, it just couldn’t.
I averted my gaze and swallowed loudly, pulling my hands into my lap and holding them in right fists to keep it together. “How are you feeling?” I repeated, desperate to focus on anything but his words so far.
“Fine,” Killian grumbled and pulled his hand away from me.
I didn’t dare to look at him or say anything. Okay, truth be told, I couldn’t do it.
We remained silent for what felt like ages. I glared at the floor like it personally offended me while I listened to Killian’s even breathing.
In the silence, I decided I had to leave. Not for good, but at least for a while. After I would make sure he was out of any danger and healing properly, then I would take a vacation.
Yes, a vacation sounded like a good idea. I could get some rest, get my thoughts in order and come back like nothing happened.
That would hurt like hell, but I was sure a scenario like that was one of those necessary evils people kept talking about.
“I chose you,” Killian suddenly whispered, breaking the silence.
My head snapped up, eyes instantly met his. “W-what?” I choked out, unsure if I heard him correctly.
“I said I chose you, Johnny,” Killian repeated and reached out to grab my hand, somehow managing to loosen the fist and intertwining our fingers. “That is, if you’ll still have me.”