105: You’re safe now.
**Jonathan pov**
Everything happened too fast.
One moment, I kneeled next to his battered body, hovered over him and howled in pain as tears streamed down my cheeks and I could only repeat the word no.
The next moment, the warriors finally gathered around us, moved faster than lightning to make a makeshift stretcher and carefully lifted Killian onto it.
I followed in their footsteps, hands shaking, knees nearly giving out from under me.
No, fuck that, my whole body shook worse than the last autumn leaf in a hurricane.
“Fight, God damn it, you better fight and survive,” I kept muttering those words under my breath as if I didn’t know any else.
The simple word “fight” turned into a sick mantra as the warriors carried Killian to the car not far from the cabin.
They all exchanged glances as we approached the SUV and then looked at me.
“What are you waiting for, get him in the car!” I hissed at them.
I had no power over those men, no right to order them around, but when I got into the car myself, they carefully lifted Killian onto the seat, positioning his head on my lap.
Some decided to run back to the pack, a few insisted it was better they stayed back and another two got in the car with us.
I zoned out completely, not caring what they were talking about as I kept stroking Killian’s fur, ignoring the blood that made it stick together.
“You’re safe now,” I whispered to him, hoping to Goddess the men would ignore my words or pretend they didn’t hear me. “We’ll get you back home, take you to the hospital and the doctors will patch you up nicely. You’ll feel like you were just born, that’s how good of a job they’ll do.”
I promised that and more, but the only response I got were shallow breaths and an occasional wolfish whimper of pain.
Bane really did a number on him, rather ugly one, but I was sure Killian wouldn’t give up easily.
It wasn’t his time to leave just yet, but we had to have at least a couple of beautiful years together.
At this point, I didn’t care if we could be together anymore. All I wanted was for Killian to survive this and come back stronger than ever.
Letting out a shaky breath, I kept stroking his fur and whispering sweet nothings to keep his attention only on me.
The drive back home felt like pure torture. It didn’t take too much time, but sure as fuck felt longer than a couple of eternities.
As soon as the car passed the border, I mind-linked the pack medical staff and demanded they prepare for the worst.
The same as me, everyone around here loved their Alpha, maybe less romantically then I did, but nevertheless, they were desperate to help.
Once we arrived at the packs’ hospital, the doctors and nurses didn’t waste any time taking him off my hands.
So, that was exactly how I ended up standing in the hospital waiting room, watching how the doctors wheeled my battered Alpha even further away from me.
If I had any power around here, I wouldn’t allow Killian to stay alone. I would stand at his bed, hold his hand and keep fighting for the both of us, if needed.
Sitting there, head in my hands, glaring at the floor like it had personally offended me, it felt like hours had passed while it could’ve been only minutes.
Someone cleared their throat next to me and it took me great effort to look up, and see who it was.
A nurse stood nearby, a gentle smile on her lips as she tried her best to look reassuring. “Alpha was taken to the surgery, we can’t promise anything just yet, but I just wanted to tell you that he’s strong and I believe in him.”
My eyes widened a fraction as I stood up and turned to face her. “Surgery?” I repeated, my voice dry and hollow. “Why would he need surgery? Can’t you give him some blood and let him heal on his own? We always heal.”
The nurse’s smile faltered as she shook her head slowly. “It couldn’t be avoided. Unfortunately, he’s in a bad state and the blood loss alone is too much. Even if we tried to give him blood and rely on his ability to heal, it probably wouldn’t work out. I’m sorry, he’s too weak for that.”
I grabbed her shoulders and shook her a little, “so what now? You take him there, perform the surgery and he’ll be okay?”
She peeled my hands off her and took a step back, looking all sorts worried and uncomfortable. “Please, calm down, I’m trying to explain,” she said gently, as if she was speaking to a child, not a grown man.
“Okay, okay,” I muttered and ran a hand through my hair, really not wanting to blow up at her, but feeling too close on the edge not to.
She cleared her throat and straightened herself. “We can’t promise there won’t be any lasting damage, unfortunately. To be completely honest, we can’t promise he’ll make it. However, just like I said, I believe Alpha is strong enough to make full recovery so let’s hope for the best.”
I couldn’t believe this. I couldn’t rely on his ability to heal because it was nearly non-existent at this point and the doctors didn’t appear to be much help either.
Slowly, I pressed my back against the wall and slid down it until I sat on the cold floor, head in hands again.
“Thank you for the update,” I muttered to the nurse and focused on the patterns all across the floor.
There was little to no chance he’d survive at this point, but I knew I had to keep hoping and praying the Goddess wouldn’t take him away from me.
And.. if nothing else, even if our paths eventually had to separate, I was adamant to stay around until the very last moment.
If fate had it that Killian was truly dying, at least he would be with me, as I’d be holding his hand.
Before the nurse could leave, I already made up my mind, so I swallowed hard and whispered, “please get me as soon as he’s out of the surgery. I want to hold his hand, no matter the outcome.”
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