77: You don’t trust Killian.
**Zion pov**
The cabin was cozy, yes, but also, it was too warm and suffocating. It wasn’t because of the fire crackling in the fireplace or the heavy log walls that still smelled of fresh pine despite likely being here for years.
No, my issue was one and only Alpha Killian who had walked through the front door like he owned the place and that fool Jonathan had let him, following the asshole around like some lost puppy, giving him heart eyes and shit.
I didn’t trust Killian’s sudden appearance and more than that, I didn’t trust the guy himself.
And worst of all, now I couldn’t understand Jonathan as well. He kept throwing Killian these glances, ones I couldn’t quite read, like a mix of guilt and longing. It seriously pissed me off more than I was willing to admit.
I knew what true loyalty looked like, I had blindly served an Alpha my entire life myself. But what Jonathan was doing, it was something else, something I really didn’t fucking like.
While Bane had been my best friend ever since I could remember myself and up until the monster took over, I was ready to give up my life for him; Jonathan acted like he was ready to drop to his knees and kiss Killian’s feet just to stay near. That wasn’t a true loyalty, that had to be an obsession.
So, when the silence and tension in the room became too much, I left the cabin and Jonathan to his own devices. I needed space, fresh air and silence that didn’t make me feel like I was suffocating on it.
As soon as I stepped out on the porch, the sharp wind hit my face like a slap. I didn’t enjoy the weather one bit, but it was better than returning back inside, so I sat down on the wooden step and looked around.
The scenery was beautiful and surprisingly calm even with the wind. Snow covered trees, there were a few trails of rabbits and different forest animals around the cabin.
I closed my eyes, inhaled deeply and focused on what mattered the most - we had made it to the mountains. However, while the thought was supposed to be comforting, it was far from it.
Being here meant we were supposed to be safe and far away from my best friend, but deep down, I knew better. Safety was a lie. It didn’t come to people like us and not to women like Aife, not with someone like Bane with a monster who wore him like a second skin.
“Tea?” I jumped slightly at the sound of her voice. I wasn’t surprised that she came out to look for me, but Kala managed to sneak up to me so silently, I was genuinely caught off guard.
I glanced over my shoulder just in time to watch my beautiful, glowing mate step outside, holding two steaming mugs in her hands. She didn’t wait for my answer, just slowly sat down next to me and grinned when her shoulder brushed mine as she passed over the cup.
“She’s asleep,” Kala whispered and smiled at me gently, answering the question before I could ask it. “Didn’t take much, really, all I had to do was promise her I would keep the boys from killing each other tonight.”
I chuckled and shook my head. Of course, Aife was too worried about everything around her to ever stop and think of her own health and mental state. That woman was growing a whole pup in her body, yet she still worried more of others than herself.
I glanced at Kala, held the cup in my right hand and threw my left arm around her to pull her closer to my side. I leaned in to press my lips against her forehead and whispered, “you didn’t have to come out here, my love. I don’t want you to catch a cold, it could be bad for the baby and you.”
Kala leaned into my touch and smiled, “sure I did have to. You’re brooding so loudly, even the trees are getting anxious watching you.”
I shook my head, but I didn’t smile and instead sipped the tea she made me. Just like everything Kala made, this tasted like dirt and wildflowers, some witchery stuff for sure.
“You don’t trust Killian,” Kala suddenly announced.
“No,” I said flatly and pulled her even closer to me. There was no point in denying the truth, this woman could read me like an open book and lying to her face always came with consequences.
Kala hummed and nodded before she added, “and now, you don’t trust Jonathan either.”
She was right, of course she was, but I didn’t want to admit it. I saw how much Aife trusted Jonathan, saw that even my own mate had a liking for him, so I kind of didn’t want to be left as the odd one out. On the other hand, I had a very valid reason to doubt that fucker.
“I don’t know who I trust anymore,” I admitted eventually. The words weren’t the truth, at least not fully, and judging by the look on her face, Kala knew it. She stared at me until I gave in, groaned and dragged a hand down my face. “Okay, fine, it’s not just about them. Shit, it’s not even about Killian or Jonathan at all.”
“Then what?” She asked, using that soft tone that always got whatever she wanted.
I looked at my cup and fought against the instinct to grip the mug tightly enough for it to shatter as I whispered, “it’s about Bane.”
The expression on Kala’s face didn’t change, so I took it as an invitation to explain myself. “I can’t stop thinking about him. Not the monster inside him, or the curse. Him - my Alpha, my best friend. The man who taught me how to fight, who kept me standing after my parents died, who ripped through a pack of rogues when they came too close to our border just because one of them tried to attack me.”
While I wanted to look at Kala, I couldn’t. Opening up like this, even to my own mate, felt too personal and too raw. I didn’t want to break down like a teenager and cry on her shoulder.
So, I did what I always did - pretended to be strong while I stared into the distance and kept talking. “He was the one who pulled me up when I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror. And now I don’t know if I should have killed him when I had the chance.”
Kala didn’t show much reaction to my words, only nodded slowly and remained silent while I struggled to keep my mouth shut.
“He’s in there, the Bane I know,” I whispered. “I just know it. I’ve seen it, baby, even when that monstrous fuck was using me to break Bane and forced my best friend watch how the monster used his fists to beat me close to death. It was different when someone said her name, every time he heard it, I could see the real Bane shining through. He’s still inside there somewhere. But that thing is getting stronger and no one knows how long we have before it’s not him anymore. Not at all.”
“So you’re scared.” Kala muttered and turned to face me, placing her hand on my cheek and turning my face until our eyes met.
I swallowed hard and nodded, “I’m terrified.”
Kala searched my gaze for a moment before she spoke again. “You’re allowed to be, that doesn’t make you less of a Beta. It just means you’re still human.”
“I’m terrified of myself,” I admitted quietly, shaking my head.
“Because you don’t know if you should keep hoping or start planning to kill him?” Her voice was soft, no judgement, just simple words that meant more than anything.
I let out a bitter laugh and admitted the one thing I wanted to keep hidden from her. “I already started planning, that’s the problem.”
Kala’s eyes widened for a brief moment and then, she let out a heavy breath. “You want to protect Aife.”
“Of course.” I answered without thinking.
Kala knew that Aife wasn’t a threat to our relationship, she was my Luna and as the Beta, it was my primary responsibility to protect her, even for my Alpha.
“But you also want to save Bane.” Kala added in a soft whisper.
I swallowed around the lump that formed in my throat and nodded. “I do. But only if there is anything left of him to save. I care about my best friend, not the monster that pretends to be him.”
For a long moment, Kala stared at me with such understanding and care in her gaze that I almost started feeling like I was something fragile and breakable, not a powerful Beta.
I didn’t know what she saw, but eventually, when she spoke, Kala sounded dead serious. “Then let me say something, and you listen. Promise me you won’t interrupt and argue, I just need you to listen.”
I nodded once.
“You don’t owe anyone blind loyalty, not even your Alpha. You love him like a brother, Zion, that’s clear. It doesn’t matter how much you love him or why, it’s something you can’t change anymore. However, I need to ask you to not mistake love for weakness. It’s not going to kill you, but it might save Bane. Or, it might break something inside you if salvation isn’t an option.” She said and set her mug aside to grab my hand in hers. “Don’t let guilt guide you, no matter how powerful it is. If the day comes when you have to take his life, do it because that’s the right thing to do, not because you’re afraid. No matter what happens, I will always remain on your side. Always.”
My vision blurred with unshed tears, but I fought against them, blinking hard. “He always was the strong one, you know. The pack and myself, we just followed him.”
Kala smiled at me and squeezed my hand tighter. “We don’t know what will happen tomorrow, my love. But what we know is that things change all of the time, for better or worse. Maybe you need to think about the future from a different angle now - maybe it’s your turn to lead, even if it’s just me you have.”
I stared at her like a fool, unable to find the right words while she reached out and cupped my cheek again, leaning closer to whisper, “we’ll make it through this. You and me together.”
Log in with Google Account
Chapters
Favorite
Settings
