28: In love with me.
**Aife pov**
The blood in my veins froze the moment I heard the announcement about Zion being awake.
I swear, my chest tightened so much, for a moment there, I thought I might collapse. My head jerked to the side to look at Aife, who was already getting up and pulling me along, ready to rush out of the tent to go check on Zion.
“Wait,” I choked out suddenly, hating how my voice didn’t sound like my own anymore. “Please, give me a second.”
Aife paused and glanced at me, worry etched in her beautiful features. “I-” she started but quickly cut herself off, squeezing my claw for reassurance. “Okay. Just take a breath, yes?”
She had something special about her, and I swear, I didn’t deserve an ounce of the lightness, understanding and softness she carried. None of it. I was too rough around the edges, too brutal and far too animalistic to truly deserve someone as perfect as Aife.
But then again, I also was a selfish bastard so I would never give up on her either.
And while being in her presence made everything so much better, right now I felt like I was still stuck in the bottom chamber of hell. I tried to breathe, just like Aife told me to, but I struggled. All of it was too much to take - the venom, Zion, the healer, everything.
At this point, even my body refused to feel normal. My limbs were heavy and impossible to move, and the damned monster inside me wasn’t making it any easier.
I felt his disgusting paws tighten inside my throat as if the monster managed to take the reins for a brief second. My skin started itching, muscles screamed with strain and my head throbbed worse than ever.
And then, out of nowhere, Aife let go of me. It wasn’t any longer than a second, but it was enough for the bastard’s voice to ring in my head. “Finally,” it hissed in that low, disgusting voice. “Let go of her, my boy. She’ll be useless soon enough. Once the pup is born, she’ll be weak, tired, broken and so easy to discard. You know it, Bane, you know it better than anyone and you can’t stop what’s coming.”
I clenched my jaw and let out a low growl, forcing my lungs to work despite the pain. “Shut up,” I hissed at it, keeping my voice barely above a whisper.
While I tried to be quiet, I wasn’t quiet enough because Aife was already looking at me, clearly worried. “Bane? Are you okay?” She muttered and squeezed my claw a little tighter.
I looked at her and tried to hide the emotions that warred inside me. “I’m fine,” I muttered and swallowed loudly, leaning a little closer to her. “Just don’t let go, alright? Please, don’t.”
Aife’s hand tightened around my claw again, and I swear, it was the anchor I desperately needed. I let my eyes scan her face and the relief that washed over me was impossible to explain - she wasn’t scared.
Instead, she flashed me that little half-smile she always did when she tried to ease tension. “You know, if you keep scowling like that, I’ll start thinking you’ve got a permanent headache or something. Ever thought about yoga?”
I almost snorted, but the monster inside growled at me for even thinking of humor. I tried my best to ignore it and simply focused on Aife. “You’re ridiculous,” I grumbled and added, “focus on something else.”
She rolled her eyes. “Fine, how about I tell you all about the weirdest mushroom I’ve ever seen? It looked like a miniature hedgehog.”
Just as the corner of my mouth twitched, the monster sneered at me, sounding like he was in pain, trying to break through the barrier her touch provided. “You won’t last, Bane. YOU. ARE. WEAK. She will let go again and then, you’ll do nothing but watch.”
I bit down on my lip hard, until I tasted blood, doing anything to distract myself from his voice and instead focus on Aife.
To make matters worse, while I struggled to push down the monster, even with Aife’s touch, my own body refused to shift back to human, the beast was too adamant to stay on the surface and sadly, too strong for me to fight against.
Maybe, in a sense, the monster was right. I was weak - not because I’ve always been that way, but because both the monster and the beast were slowly chipping at my life force and as the days went by, I only grew weaker with every one of them.
Sucking in a deep breath, I closed my eyes and whispered, “you’re not getting her.”
That same moment, Aife spoke up again, her tone teasing and amused, “you sound like a naughty kid when you whisper.”
I knew that Aife was trying to save me from completely losing it. “Don’t call me that,” I muttered.
“You’re doing it again,” she said and poked my face lightly. “Clenching everything, making that horrible face. You’ll pull a muscle, you know.”
This time, I ignored her and focused on breathing. After a moment, I spoke again, “you’re lucky you’re cute. Otherwise, I’d be growling at you constantly.”
She snorted out a laugh. “In that case, I’m cute all the time.”
I shook my head, not daring to look at her directly just yet. I feared I would lose control if I looked at her for too long. As if on cue, the monster inside me hissed again, “she’ll be yours just for a moment and then, she’ll be gone. Enjoy it while it lasts.”
I could feel him trying to claw at the edges of my mind, my body instantly tensed as I focused on listening to my own breathing.
Aife’s hand tightened again. “Bane, I’ve got you, I won’t let go. Just focus on me, okay?” She whispered.
“Okay,” I choked out, “just give me a moment.”
A small laugh escaped her again and right now, it sounded like the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. “Just relax,” she tried to suggest.
I wanted to snap at her, but I didn’t simply because I knew she wasn’t to be blamed for the mess I was stuck in. She was the only anchor I still had.
“You think I can relax with that thing whispering in my head?” I asked, trying to keep the bitterness and accusation out of my voice.
Her expression softened, but her hand didn’t move from my claw. “I don’t care about the thing in your head, Bane. I care about you, and about us. That’s what matters.”
I swallowed again, bile rising in my throat as I felt the monster’s frustration growing within me. Instead of giving him more of my energy, I gave my full focus to Aife. She was the only one who deserved it anyway, not some twisted fuck who wanted everyone he deemed weak dead, including me.
“You’re impossible,” I muttered softly.
She rested her head against my shoulder, her tone teasing but gentle. “So you’re saying you like me?”
I tried to scowl, but my lips betrayed me, curling up in a barely suppressed smile. “Maybe.”
“Maybe, he says,” Aife repeated and laughed. “I know you’re head over heels in love with me, beast.”
This time, I smirked as I nodded and just as suddenly as he appeared, the monster hissed and retreated, finally accepting that he was powerless, if only for now.
“Okay, I think I’m ready to go see him. But slowly, yes?” I said, doing my best to keep my voice as even as possible.
Aife simply smiled, squeezed my claw again, and slowly stood up. “Slowly is completely fine with me, we have all the time in the world.”
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