Chapter 42 Bronson
The ride begins and ends as quickly as it started. Nikki and I laughed the whole time at my attempt to sit upright on the uncomfortable metal bord. I may have done most of the falls on purples to see the woman laugh and smile.
We’re walking out of the small red and white tent and heading for the next ride when Nikki stops, grabbing my hand and pulling herself closer to my side. She speaks softly, so soft that I have to hold her form tighter to mine and lean my head down to listen. Anyone walking by would assume we are a couple of love birds that can’t keep their hands off each other.
“I know this isn’t exactly what you thought I would have in mind for doing something fun, but the truth is, I’ve embraced this trip as something more. You were right in pushing me. I was afraid of your original words to me because they spoke in volumes of truth.”
“Nikki…” I start. I hated the cruel words I said to her when I first met her. I wanted to save her, but it wasn’t the right way to go about it.
“No, Bronson, I didn’t say this so that you felt guilt, I want the opposite of that. I’m having the time of my life being with you and even though it’s going to be short lived, I wouldn’t change it for anything.”
I don’t know what to say, I have no words to say. Nikki’s small smile appears once again, and I match it with one of my own. Taking her hand in mine, I drag us closer to the next ride and that’s how it goes for the remainder of the day.
Nikki picks each ride, one leading to another one that frightens her more. I buy her every snack from each concession stand because she, and I quote, ‘needed to feed her inner demon’. We laugh, we joke, we use sarcasm in its perfect form, and we do it all with warmth.
After three hours and the second announcement that they will be closing down the park in less than ten minutes, we make our way out to the parking lot where Rand and Jim are waiting. I find the SUV and walk hand in hand with Nikki towards it. She stops dead in her tracks and gives me the warmest smile. I reach out and tuck the loose strand of hair floating around from the small breeze and tuck it back behind her ear.
“Everything okay?” I ask and watch as her smile becomes even brighter.
“Yes. I just wanted to say thank you. I had a really nice time Bronson.” I nod my head, not sure what to say when she thanks me for such small things. I’m just about to turn and head back towards the SUV when Nikki leans up and gently kisses my lips, leaving a form of electricity vibrating around my mouth.
Its faint, gentle even, but I jolt my head back, aware of how wrong this is. Nikki notices immediately narrowing her eyes but remaining stoic.
Rejection. She assumes it’s rejection.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” She states, sounding broken.
“Nikki- “
“No, Bronson, it’s alright. We should get going.” She continues to look at me with questioning in her eyes.
I want to explain to her how I feel and that I am in a committed relationship, but I know it won’t solve what the true problem is. It could never work with Nikki; she deserves better than to be with someone like me. She needs someone bright, someone funny and charming. I’m broody on a good day and my whole life is my business.
I should tell her something, anything indicating why this can’t work. My fiancé, my business, my soul not being good enough to lay with hers.
Instead, I remain quiet, nod my head and follow the broken-hearted girl to the SUV, where we spend the remainder of the ride back to our hotel in silence.
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