Chapter 30. The learning is hard.

"Fine! I made a mistake! I didn't try to focus! Fine! But my muscles are killing me you can't really expect an response that is positive from me from first day. First of all the thousand times was already too much and that too keeping focus on outside do you know how much time I fall while picking this up?"i asked him, when he laughed and came closer, grabbing my chin and cheeks," This is your way of revenge? This is how you want to wgt back on the Spanish for the dwtah of James? Really? At this rate you will go and die yourself even if you offer them your body, do you get me?" He accused me of a result for the fight that didn't even begin. He left me, and then I swayed because I didn't had any power in me, he sighed and turned hwje he saw the other back approaching inside. Utw as time to change the shifts. Thankfully.
He just turned and starts dto leave with his jackets and lighter, eyeing the members of that batch, while they didn't even responsed, it James would have been alive, he would have ran towards me and asked me what the hell was that guy doing with me. But no longer. I ko longer have hik around me, I sadly remembered him, when I saw that everyone was equally silent and was not reacting at all. In the middle they just looked at me after once or twice moment and went in there own slumber sitting down. They just ignored me or didn't look my way late on at all.
I just threw myself on the groubd and rested myself. Closing my eyes picturing James with me. Thinking about the questions he would have asked me now when he comes back shout how was my day and then give his reviews.
His and I thing.
I get a shadow on me xwhen I oepend my eyes and looked at the person it was Jake looking at me, and then sat down beside my head, resting his whole wait on his palms enter behind, "So? Already started to prepare for leaving?" He asked me, when I nodded him, he agreeing, "Good, then! I hope you make it! Trust me, you showed the gutts when you said you wanted dto go the Spanish even normal us don't have the power. Don't you think you will regret this later?" He asked me when I laughed, "Regretting? What's that? 8 don't know! I just don't love me so much any more that to care about things like that, all that is set in my mind is blood and revenge. Plans and execution. Things I had never thought about had became my concerns now. Weirdly." I told him, when he kept nodding," I understand that mufh hut don't loose yourself in the fights for others. Quill. Even you know the person you gave became here is not what kind of person you are. Think! You have made a peace even with the people like us. The one who are the killers and haters. Nothing more then just pain killers" He bitched about himself. And his words really got me thinking.
Yes! The attachment I made with everyone, I have to not make because being at a place like this is all about loosing the ones I love. Learn this from this experience. I told myself. And taught the heart not to get attached again.
Even if it's Mileva.
And just the name of Devil, here she was. Standing at the den door looking at me, she entered everyone bowing towards her when she just ignored them and walked ahead toll she reached towards me, but then she asked someone to walk inside, the maids even Ava on them, with tray in there hand. She asked them to keep it towards me, food apart from bun and mild feels wierd to see and taste. I definitely was tempted by them but seeing that it would alone be me feeding on them, I have to refuse. I am doing nothing bigger or more then the guys that do here. So I have to do whatever it is by my own power.
"Eat them, it's for your health milk and bun won't be enough," She said to me when I just respectfully refused her. "I ams orry Mileva. But I can't have them alone. I am not alone here because," I asked her, when the whole crew stood up, "No! Quill! Have it! You need power. We see strong. But you need strength." They asked me to eat them too but I was unsure if I really want too. I just sighed and excepted her politeness hut extened the ahead each other them, they all just refusing poliety. Telling me that I need it more then they do. They all were concern about me.
After all if them just refused ut I sat down on the ground started to eat, Mileva standing while others started to seat too. Later they brought her the chair when she took it them and sat down. She lokekd at me eating or her other favorite idols and just leave it sleeping. Little later. I personally never really understand her. She is weird.
"I heard you came out of my brothes room later?" She suddenly asked me the rice in my mouth when I splashed it out, everyone staring at me, "Her brother?" They asked making me, think about excuse but I don't know if I have any right now. "Yeah I was waisted! they loudly screamed, at me," Why? " They asked," Stay away from him, " they all said along with shock expression.
" What's wrong? "I asked her again when she sighed and stood,"Forget that, just stand.ets take a walk, let's go out!" She asked me extended her hand, and telling to come wih her but my body sincerely was at its end. "Please my muscles are killing me!" I cried to her. She relaxed lookin gt my leg and then sat down beside me.
~
It was already really late now, everyone sleeping as they refuse to brings girls today as a respect to James. I and Mileva lying right beside where I was exercising. While we talked here and there, "I heard. There will be a ball soon?" I asked her, she nodding, "I have been seperately warned for just remain clam and not causing ruckus down there,"She said and started to laugh,
"You are not planning anything are you?" I asked her, when she looked the other way and then me. "I am not. I. Just don't need to go at a place where I have to pretend and act all the time that he am di have a good relation. And just keep laughing like at idiot." we pulled silence when I thought about now is the time to talk with her.
I really hate everyone who hurts Mileva. I don't know what kind of woman she herself is. But as a partner she is good. And understanding. I think she needs to know the truth." Mileva brother approached me asking me to get him in our crew because he also wanted dto destroy the Harvey because they took over his world from him. He wants them to payback. But the way he is really strong I am considering getting in our team?" She asked her carefully waiting on desperate on the way she will act back. But she was just straight no reaction at all." I knew he would do something like this, Okay. You mid hate to hear this Quill you are really naive, "She said sighing. And just stormed out of the den making me confuse why did she left like that? Wist is she going to meet her brother? And get mad at him? Ahhh now I will look like a fool.
~
It was already another day and the shifts had changed the lex came towards me, and the first thing he did was picking up the wooden rod by his side and shoving it on me, but before eit could hit me he took them away, "You still haven't learn the focus! Don't you know that you only have some days? Then why? Why? Are you learning so slow? Why?" He asked, but I could already sense from his posture that he was to do an attack on me. And as expected he caught on my head. And was to twist it over. But before that, I did my attack. By hitting his side of stomach with my elbow, even though he didn't budge from my hit. He stopped. "Good! That's how you act out!" He said. Amd then made an another move, his shoulders stiffing and his arms unknowingly riding up as he was to punch me but my hand caught his punch. And twisted his arm back till. He started to walk back. He went back and back really astounded, but then he did got on my side by his arms, and he just picked me and threw me on the ground in one go.
He kept his one foot on my arms and started to press it again and again, "Don't fight like a kid! You little whore! Fighting has its own alphabets! And you follow them, you don't make your rules! You have to follow some! Every move you make is a move already made soemhwere. If you are wishing to defend you learn the other kind of alphabets and if you are attack there are numbers! "He taught me one more thing but only if my mind was able to concentrate at all. The feet on my fingers was really crushing me! But then he left my hand by stepping back, I standing up, as soon as I was up, a rush walked inside the den, it was Romeo, him throwing him on the wall, and grip on his neck.
"They have asked you to teach her! In between don't forget the respect you should show her! Do you understand?" He gritted, I standing far, as I wanted to ask him stop, and he did before I could ask him. He turned to see me, "Why are you acting out?" He asked me, he looked at the crowd of den and caught my hand and was to drag me out but I sticked at my ground, "Quill?" He asked me, eyeing me, "I am learning my lessons are going on. I don't have time right now," I told him and turned towards Lex. "Romeo you should go out," He asked him, and walked towards me. "Leanr. The alphabets! The strokes! To sum you all up-" His words were not completed, Romeo took my arm and started to drag me out, "What are you doing?" I asked him, he taking me out of den in the lawn, "Did you go in the Capa's brother's room?" He asked me.
Oh! So this was his concern, well news ran out fast. "Yeah! I was," I told him, his eyes resting at me. "Things were pretty fine between us before the incident at the lawn. We fought but you acted out? Now? Why?" He got frustrated on me. But how come should I tell him that I had already having doubts on him and then at the lawn he confirmed it. "Why did you go in his room? Don't you know! He is known for keeping whores!?" He asked me, "I know so what? He wants to help me! In taking revenge off James. And I want to give him the chance." I said to him when he laughed. Looking at me.
"If you believe he is concern for you, don't fool yourself! That man, he just cares about one thing, and that is being on the good side of Capo. He must be doing it because Capo must have asked him to get some information out from you."