Chapter THIRTY FOUR

Syrus' POV
"Are you even listening to me", Collin frustratedly said " we haven't made any improvement in the investigation the elders want you to hand over Deborah for execution".
" Do you think killing her is what is best for her?"I ask, looking at the pictures Eden has taken on my phone ,she is obsessed with keeping track of her pregnancy everyday. There are cute photos of her that I take from time to time when she is not looking, especially when she has her curly hair down.
He snatches the phone from me and chuckles "why don't you just admit that girl has finally made you for in love with her. We have been researching for many years now even the man that helped make the drug doesn't know how to cure it's effects on wolves,she is long gone keeping her alive is just punishment"
" I don't want to let her down ,I promised her that I was going to help her",
" You've already helped her enough by keeping her alive all this while despite the threats from the elders, Deborah is long gone, Syrus. Why don't you focus on now and try to find happiness",
" I can't be happy without her",
" Stop lying to yourself I know she was there for you when your mother died she helped you get out of your dark place,but ask yourself Syrus is it love or maybe just gratefulness you feel that you have to repay her by loving her knowing Deborah she'd call you stupid she told you once before she marked her mate , it's what friends do",
I looked at Eden's picture and I could hear her laughter ringing in my head.
"She is ready, she is there, you just have to make an effort and accept her love,meet her halfway",he says and gets up.
I took a deep breath and got an envelope from my drawer
" Since when did you get so wise in matters of the heart, you're the most stone cold bastard I know",
" When you give yourself a chance to find happiness by falling in love you understand where you made the mistakes,I just want to see my brother happy",he smiles. He has been smiling more now that he is with Jill , I've never seen him like this since his mate Monica died.
I kept thinking of what he said and I started doubting myself,all these years I've been so sure of my feelings for Deborah. Well, until I first met her,I was so sure I took her so she'd pay back Daniel's debt ,the debt I set him up in.
To me at first it was because of the mate's pull that I took and I thought if I could ignore her,but the fierce look in her eyes when she told me she was going to make me fall in love with her made me give in.
I left my office to see what she was up to,I checked Tatiana's old room we turned into a nursery,she is always spending her days in there.
I walk to my room and can hear giggling coming from there. I open the day grabbing the attention of her ,Jill and Yedira.
"What are you doing here Yedira?", I ask because she seems to be coming here a lot lately even though she claims not to like Eden.
"What am I not welcome here anymore, it's not like I like being here anyway", she says rolling her eyes.
" Syrus come and see this",Eden who's sitted in bed says she may give birth anytime soon, seeing how skinny she's gotten makes me worry maybe having a baby wasn't a good idea I don't know why I let it happen .I am a little worried because no human has ever carried a pure blood before, even though she says she's fine,I always hear her groan because of her aches.
"Syrus you were so cute as a baby",she smiled. "Look at the little clothes Yedira brought",she said, struggling to sit up properly. I helped her and placed a pillow behind her.
"Where did you get these?", I asked my sister, looking at all the baby clothes she brought.
"They were in mom's things,I figured instead of letting them collect dust I'd give them to Eden",
" Awww thank you Yedira", Eden smiled.
Hearing about my mother put me in a bad mood and I didn't want to stay here any longer so I made up an excuse just so I could leave.
"Syrus wait don't go", Eden said "Jill please help me up",she groaned after falling to get up.
I couldn't stand to see her in pain so I went back to help her back to bed.
"Jill and Yedira do you guys mind leaving us?",
"Of course",Jill smiled. " Whatever", Yedira mattered and they left the two of us.
" I know what happened to your mother,it wasn't your fault",she says, touching my cheek.
" You don't know anything",I snapped, removing her hand from my cheek. Nobody understands the guilt I have to leave with knowing that I killed my own mother.
I couldn't keep my Lycan under control and I almost hurt everyone.
"Yes I don't, but I know you",she says, placing her warm thin hand on mine. "It must have been hard for you but it wasn't you fault and your mother has always known that you can't continue blaming yourself your entire happiness should not be conditional on circumstances that were beyond your control,she knew you didn't mean to hurt her everyone around knows",she says kissing the corner of my mouth. Circumstances beyond my control not to worry about circumstances beyond my control my mother would always say that to me.
I don't say a thing and just tell her to get some rest,she doesn't stop me this time as I walk out of the room.
"She's right you know,it wasn't your fault", Yedira says and gives me a hug,I don't remember the last time my sister gave me a hug.
I walk past her and into the office locking the door behind me. I remember it like it happened yesterday, unlike my sister I was a late shifter, I failed to establish a connection with my Lycan so I'd gain control of it,I wasn't in my right mind and my father wasn't home,I was texting havoc and my mother had no choice but to try and subdue me I got agitated and I attacked her.
"Calm down",I said to myself. I looked around for a bottle of scotch to calm myself and my eyes fell onto my mother's portrait. I haven't seen a picture of her in such a long time. All the memories of her that I forced myself to forget so I could ease my guilt hit me like a train.
"I'm so sorry",I sobbed. I tried to forget her,how could I, I removed her portrait that was now covering the safe and held it close to me.
The door slowly opened and Eden walked in.I knew it was her because I'd recognize her scent anywhere,it was like a calming sedative. She was like a breath of fresh air, soothing to the soul.
"It's okay Yedira,I can handle it from here", she said to my sister who was helping her.
She slowly walked to where I sat on the floor. She groaned in pain as she placed her hands on my shoulders and attempted to sit on my lap,my hands subconsciously bedding me to help her.
"Thank you",I said, placing my head in the book on her neck,she was all I needed and she was right. I didn't need Deborah at this point. All I wanted was Eden to be here wrapped in each other's arms listening to the rhythmic beat of her heart that was in sync with our son's, taking in her delicious scent,she was like a ray of sunshine to me at this moment.
"Let's mark each other,we can have our mating ceremony tomorrow",I mumbled.
" Are you serious?",she said, holding my face in hers.
"Yes, because I realized how much I want to be with you for the rest of my life",I say and kiss her cheeks as soon as she delivers. I'll have to put her on a diet so she can gain back the weight she has lost.
Colin was right, happiness was in front of me. Eden is my happiness.