What's my feelings about

Chapter forty-nine
Henry
My arm and legs wrap around something warm, or someone warm? I open my eyes slowly and look down at a woman beside me.
She's in a blue dress but the dress has been pulled up and I can see her fresh thigh. If I tilt up my head, I will probably see everything under her.
Her hair is covering her face but she looks like Jayde. I don't think so, I know.
I pull back the hair from her face slowly, revealing the beautiful woman in my face. She looks cute too.
I remember kissing her last night in an attempt to shed off anything that's Declan on her body. I felt so different yesterday. I can't even point out the reason why I felt that way last night. All I know is that I wanted to have Jayde close to myself. I was so scared someone might take her away.
But how did she get in bed beside me? I put some rebellious lock of hair behind her ear. Why does she look so beautiful?
Then, suddenly it came to me. After pulling her to my chest yesterday night. I can remember her pulling me up walking into my bedroom.
She was about to leave but I caught her hand and whisper for her not to leave me. After waiting for some minutes and she made the move to leave again. I pull her back to myself on the bed.
She fight for a while but soon surrender and I think she slept off. I don't even know when I slept off. Gosh! I must be going insane.
I wonder what she's going to do now. Is she going to leave? I mean Declan must have threatened her to leave quietly or spill the milk.
She opens her eyes slowly and look up at me. instead of letting go, my arms hold her firm
She didn't try to fight free and for once, I wish I can read her mind. I wish I know what she going through her tiny head.
"Why did you drink that much?" She asks softly, "Did something happen?" Her voice was filled with concern for me. Is that really true? Does she care about me?
"Just some thoughts," I reply and smooth her hair again. It seems so ordinary as if I'm really her husband and we are really in love with each other. It seems like we are entangled like this after a hot lovemaking.
I'm sure my dad will be expecting a baby soon that's why he kept insisting I stay another one week for our honeymoon.
"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" She asks again.
I look at her eyes for a while, calculating and debating on my head if I should ask her about Declan or not.
Jeez, I wonder why everything is this way. I wonder why it's not easy for me to question her. Why can't I just let her know I'm aware of everything.
Then, it came at me slowly and suddenly, hitting me so hard that it nearly knocked me off.
I believe I'm in love, finally. Though, I'm still unable to answer who my heart is really beating for. Should I say I'm in love with Hattie or Jayde?
No! I can't be in love with Jayde.
I'm obviously in love with Hattie. Jayde and Hattie look so much the same is why I'm misplacing the idea together. I've fallen in love with this face.
But if that's the case, why was I jealous when Declan kiss her. I shouldn't be because I know better than anyone else that Jayde was the one Declan kissed.
Would I have been so jealous if it was Hattie he kissed?
But then, I think it's because of the face. They have the same face so it's normal to feel whatever whenever we are them kiss someone else.
But I'm never going to allow it again. I'm not going to allow those two to see each other again. And I'm not going to let Jayde leave, not until Hattie comes back.
I will be useless if she leaves like this. Dad will put all the blame on me. Also, If she tells the truth, my honor will be at stake.
I will do all my best to make sure she doesn't leave.
"I tried your number yesterday but you didn't pick up. Where were you?"
She tried to smile but failed. She covers her face in my chest instead.
I didn't push the question further, instead, I tilt her head up so I will be looking into her eyes.
"Will you promise me something?"
She blinks once, "What is that?"
"Will you let me know whenever you think of disappearing like what you did that day? Will you let me know a day before?" My eyes plead softly.
" If I let you know, will you let me go?"
No, I won't. I'm not even planning to let you go, well not until I find Hattie. I think I'm in love with Hattie. And I don't ever want to leave her.
Gosh, I don't believe I'm going to fall in love with someone I was so certain I wouldn't. I told myself I would file for a divorce the second month after we got married.
Now, things are not even going according to my plan. Gosh, it's annoying at aside and the other, I think I like it.
I just want to keep her for myself.
"Don't tell me then, give me signals that night give it off. So, I won't be able to stop you," I say instead and watch her expression.
She stares at me for a while, "I will do just that."
I smile and nod briefly, "And don't ever ignore my calls unless you've left finally, ok?"
She nods briefly. I tilt my head in and kiss her on the lips softly, "You taste nice."
"Will you let me go now?" She asks innocently, even though I can hear the increase in her heartbeat. Does she love me too? Or is she just anxious?
"No!" I shake my head negatively. I bend towards her again and kiss her.
"I need to take my bath," she announces.
I pull back and glanced at the clock. It's eight in the morning. Gosh, we need to bathe and eat. I wonder what the maids are doing currently. But then, they wouldn't be able to come inside seeing we might be busy and we are, we really are.
I laugh and pull away from her. She gets up and starts towards the door.
I turn around to look at her, at her, she innocently try to pull down the gown, "Where are you going?"
She looks back, her brow raises, "To bath, in my room."
"Ooh!" I say and walk back to my closet. I take a pair of black trousers and a t-shirt. I take my cream and my perforant. I am really going to surprise Jayde today.
I walk back into the room and she's gone.
I walk out of my room, towards her room. I open the door slightly and walk-in. She's not anywhere around. She must be in the bathroom already.
I drop my clothes on the bed and pull off the ones on me, I drop them around me, not worrying about where they will land. I don't really care about those trivial things.
I walk to the bathroom, still naked.
Opening the door, she didn't even know I'm near. Her eyes are closed and her head is placed on the edge of the bathtub.
I smile, admiring her cleavage before slipping in beside her.
She opens her eyes quickly and look up at me, "What!" She screams as she beholds me, "What are you doing here?"
I shrug slightly, "Bathing with my wife?" I wink at her and my eyes go to her cleavage.
She traces the path of my gaze, realizing what I'm looking at, she went deep into the water.
I laugh and look at her face. She's blushing already.
"You are supposed to tell me!" She says strongly.
"Oh!" I exclaimed softly, " I'm supposed to tell you before I bath with my wife? Meanwhile, my father is expecting you to get pregnant already. He gave me an extra one week to get you filled with my sperm."
I touch her leg and she shudders uncontrollably.
"Yet, you should know this is a marriage of convenient!" She protests.
I sigh, " Sure it is. But they wouldn't want to hear that, will they?"
" No one will believe it if I tell them I haven't even had any sex with you after our wedding."
She turns to look at me very well, " Wait for a minute, you have never_," she stops suddenly, getting embarrassed already.
I smile and relax in the shower, "Why should I do that? I should do it when both parties are ready and you were not ready."
Her eyes widen in shock and I wonder why.