Chapter 50

Yenn hasn"t seen Jiwoon for a week now. He is starting to think that Jiwoon is really not joking about what he said about scramming away. He scratched his neck and tried to forget about the thought. He shouldn"t be thinking of him like this. Jiwoon chose this and he don"t want to approach him either. He had his pride and prejudice about this situation so he won"t be coming to look for him like an idiot.
He sat up on the couch and stretch his arms wide. It was a nice sleep.
He looked in a daze in front for a moment and finally pushed himself to stand up. His mind were sober but he felt dizzy because of the voices he had been hearing while he"s asleep.
Again.
They"re talking to each other again.
They haven"t separated for a moment this week now and he"s starting to get pissed whenever he saw Jiwoon and Hailey tangled up together. He really felt annoyed right now. Not because he was woken up in his sleep but because he was woken up by the sweet laughter of that person with someone else.
He straddled away and looked for Ivis and Elena. Staying here would just pissed him anyway and Ivis was his only cure to this sadness. He went upstairs and towards the kitchen. He then realized something he forgot.
"Oh, Ivis already left the island"
He then paused in his steps and grip the railings of the stair tighter. He just stared in the air for a long while and the silence crept into his mind making him see his past self. It"s the same feeling he had when he lose his friends.
Silently, his expression turned sour and his golden eyes became dull. Remembering the bad memories that were already buried deeply in his mind resurfaced again and it all play back slowly in his head.
***
Back in High school, he got into a fight with his friends because of a certain misunderstanding. It was something that made his friends doubt him and in a careless manner. He did something that made him doubt even more.
"Am I really your friend?"
A fifteen year-old boy looked straightly into Yenn"s eyes. His fist was clenched tightly and his lips were pursed. His expression show how sad and angry he was but Yenn just looked at him silently waiting for him to speak more.
"Yenn tell me, am I even your friend?"
The boy yelled at him as he finally burst into tears. Yenn just stared at him cried then he exhaled deeply and finally spoke.
"Stop crying over it already. I told you just let them be and they would go away."
"But you told him. Didn"t you? You told that fucker that I fucked her." The boy expression turned grim and Yenn looked away but his cheeks were grabbed by a hand turning his head to the boy"s face—full of scars and bandages.
"Look at me Yenn! Look what they did to me!"
The hand tightened the grip and he was already feeling his jaws being dislocated. He tried to remove the hand from his face but the hold tightened even more. He was then shoved to the ground and his face was forcibly slammed in the dirt. His ears ringed and he hissed in pain.
"If you didn"t sound me out. We could still be friends! You traitorous bastard. You should"ve keep your filthy mouth shut in the beginning! You fucking homo! You liked that guy don"t you? If you don"t then why the fuck did you tell him that huh?! Answer me you piece of shit!"
The boy screamed at him again and he started to punched him harder and he could feel his face sting. His other cheek was getting buried deeper In the ground and he really don"t like the feeling of being helpless like this. Yenn kicked the boy away and got up to punch him back.
"First of all! I"m not a fucking homo you bastard! You fucked her and he knew that so don"t you dare start blaming me for your own fault you asshole!"
"Fuck you!"
***
"Aren"t you selfish? You always do whatever you want without even consulting us. Do you really think about our feelings even once?"
The boy slammed his table in front of him. Because of what happened yesterday, he became worried about their friend who"s already in the hospital. The outcome of their fight leads him to hitting his head on the ground and bled. Yenn didn"t mean to push him of course. But right now, it seems that he"s being blamed for that.
Yenn shook his head. He"d rather stay firm than tell how dumb his friend is. He shouldn"t have mess with the girl but he did.
"Why don"t you tell me that you did it"
"I didn"t. You know that"
"Fuck. So is it true? That issue of you sounding him out?"
"I didn"t!"
"Then why can"t you tell us?! Do you even trust us? Me?"
"I do but" Yenn but his lower lip. Unsure about what to say.
"Fine, forget it. You never treated us like humans anyway much more so than a friend."
"What the hell?"
Yenn flinched in shock. So that"s what they would do after all the effort he went through to beg that girl to defend his friend? They want to end things so badly.
"Yeah dude. Just let"s break it off. You never trust us and we know. There"s no point trying so hard to please you. We"re just tired of it"
"Fine! Do what you want! I"m sick and tired of you guys too anyway."
His friend clenched his fist and stomped away. He was exactly hoping that Yenn would try to hold on to their friendship that were already hanging on the cliff but he didn"t and that"s it.
Everything is over between them.
And right now, Yenn felt it like it was just yesterday.
He let out a long sigh then he shook his head.
He gripped the railings of the stair and exhaled deeply.
Why is it now?
He"s remembering every little bit of his past and he"s really not liking the idea. He shook his head and finally continue to walk upstairs. Remembering nightmares of his past because of his selfish pride—he really hate it.
Being unable to convey what he felt every time.
"Damn it. Fine I"ll talk to him tomorrow"
***