Chapter 59 (End)

"Say that you like me"
Again, he"s acting so weird again that Jiwoon became a bit awkward to do what he always requested. It"s been a month that they spent together—learning and understanding each other, gaining pain and affection as the days flew by—they"ve become closer than lovers would yet, they aren"t one. Not even a bit of the label of being in a relationship.
What even are they? Friends? No, Fuck buddies? No, they were intimate but not to that extent. They were slow and progressive but Jiwoon was now beginning to be unsure what Yenn even felt for him. Was he toying with him? No. Then what? He was really confused and overwhelmed about their current state.
Is it time to—
"Hey"
Yenn grinned for the first time. Jiwoon really don"t know what he should say that moment but he suddenly forgot what he was even thinking of—and one thing for sure...
He would say the words Yenn wanted to hear no matter how many times he would make him to.
But...
Isn"t it a bit too much?
Jiwoon sighed and just plastered a helpless smile and said the words he had been saying for almost an eternity now.
"I like you"
"Again" Yenn urged. He seems to be expecting something on the words but no matter how much Jiwoon tried to say it in the sweetest and romantically possible—Yenn doesn"t seem to be satisfied. He was much more irritated than before.
"I like you"
"Repeat it until I say stop"
Jiwoon chuckled and deeply obeyed his words. He"s definitely throwing a childish tantrum but he wasn"t in a least annoyed. He was actually happy even though he was totally expecting a response from Yenn who"s now grinning so wide at him as he repeatedly say the words he want to hear. What was it though? The thing that Yenn was expecting? Yenn firmly looked at him and stared at his face. There it goes that disappointed look again. Just what the hell was it?
"I l-like you...hey stop staring at me like that. You"re making me embarrassed"
Jiwoon then covered his own mouth and looked away. Yenn just chuckled and waited for him to say the words again. He then sighed heavily and screamed.
"I Like You I Like You I Like You I Like You I Like You I Like You I Like You I Like You I Like You I Like You so please....like me too"
"Please"
Jiwoon, in a split second burst into tears. He didn"t know why but he deeply accepted the tears flowing down in his cheek and repeatedly say please like me too'.
Damn it how many times more? How long does he have to prove things to this guy? He genuinely like him for God sake! What does Yenn really want?! Yenn opened his mouth then closed it in a tight pursed. He hen began to cry too. Damn what now?" Jiwoon just lowered his head and look away. He much as well give up if Yenn just want to humiliate him like this. Yenn let out a long sigh then he said in a serious tone.
"You"re really stupid aren"t you..."
He let out a hic and then began to sniffle in Jiwoon"s arm. This time he was the one hugging him and Jiwoon was just there crying as he say please for how many times now. He really couldn"t count those and he"s beginning to crumble in embarrassment. The two of them cried, not because of pain, not because of sadness but the failure to realize what they really felt from the start.
Why have they waited for so long?
Why didn"t they both realized it much sooner?
If they could have made up before and just throw away the guilt and stupidity that they have played all this time then maybe....
Maybe...
They could have said it to each other sooner...
"You"re really stupid. I"m here waiting for you to say that word so that I could respond properly to you too. Why are you even crying, now you"re hurting me too so stop it please." Yenn gripped the hem of Jiwoon"s shirt as he buried his head on his chest.
He really couldn"t stand seeing that crying face...
The first time he saw it he was totally taken aback that he couldn"t bear to hit him anymore. It was a very splendid sight. He never saw a man like him shed that kind of tears. It was so clear that when it flowed in his cheeks he couldn"t help but get sad too. Yenn, at that time—cried involuntarily too.
Jiwoon"s tears was too pure that he felt so weird out and guilty back then, he vent his frustration out in him. He hit him so hard that he felt the extreme superiority and was totally satisfied because of he years he had suffered because of his frame. He was picked on and for he first time in his life he beat Jiwoon back then. It was thrilling and it really drove him mad to the point that he think he was on top but then...
Those tears...
He was stopped by those pure tears and made him realized that he...
He too...was just like those people who picked on the weak.
He hated it but it"s necessarily made him realized what he truly felt. He just couldn"t admit it first but who would if he didn"t. Let this long hide-and-seek between feelings and pride end. Yenn opened a gap in his mouth and was readying to say something but Jiwoon interrupted him first.
"I like you..."
"All this time, I"ve been telling myself this was so wrong and absurd but I couldn"t help it. I want to see you, I want to make you mad, I want to make you smile and I would always tell myself it"s nothing but a mere curiosity but then I realized that..."
"I"m already fallen to the pit of no return. I wanted you so much that I raped you but...I"m fucking out of my mind. I like you not because I was lusting over you but I still did such a thing! I"m such a trash and I couldn"t forgive myself for that. I want you to punished me so much but I still hold my pride in when you did. I was so confused that one day I realized I have fallen really hard for you so, please Yenn...will you like me too?"
Jiwoon pushed Yenn aback lightly and looked into his crying eyes. The amber color, it was something he didn"t see before but he knew... It was Yenn"s feelings. His very emotions lie beneath his eye colors. Yenn wiped his tears then he halted his hand and looked at Jiwoon seriously. He pursed his lips and looked away.
"But I don"t like you..."
"A-hh?"
Jiwoon was stupefied and clearly dumbfounded that he almost passed out in that spot. Did Yenn just rejected him? Was he really that heartless that he would let him get trampled over without even blinking an eye to what he really felt. Was Yenn really that kind of scum?! Yenn eyed him up and saw him in that state. He just sighed helplessly and smiled at Jiwoon—he was really grinding his teeth and his expression was too dark that he couldn"t read it but he wouldn"t back out.
This time...
He would properly tell his feelings...
No more hiding and holding it in..
He inhaled heavily and then took Jiwoon"s hand. He then put it next to his heart and gave Jiwoon a genuine smile. Jiwoon just looked at him clueless and he just burst into a loud laugh. Ahh. Jiwoon was really slow.
"Listen to my heart you fucker. What do you think I"d feel when you just confessed?"
Jiwoon furrowed his brow and then opened his mouth but he couldn"t say anything at all and closed it back. Waiting, expecting and wishing that Yenn should"ve just reject him if he hated him this much. Why does he have to humiliate him to this end? He"s really heartless isn"t he.
Yenn grit his teeth and clicked his tongue.
"I can tell what you"ve been thinking but you"re wrong!"
"I don"t hate you!
I don"t like you!
So what do you think?!"
Yenn yelled but Jiwoon really couldn"t get it and it was starting to get on his nerves. Damn it why does he have to be he one to say it first? Geez fine. He just had to say it to him anyway.
"Hey, you still don"t know?"
"I don"t want to assume again so I won"t know unless you tell me"
Jiwoon firmly said and he tightly pursed his lips. His heart was already banging and he was nearing the suffocation he could feel in his whole life. He want to hear it. Not in his own mouth but by Yenn"s own lips.
"Fuck it. What a slowpoke. Give me a moment yeah?"
Jiwoon nodded nonchalantly whilst, Yenn—again inhaled heavily and screamed.
"I love this guy named Jiwoon so don"t you dare say you don"t love me you piece of shit! I love you so much so ingrained it to your very big brain and quit being so stupid and just tell me that you love me too?!"
Yenn pant and gave Jiwoon a big smile. Damn. He didn"t know screaming I love you was this good. He then switched into a normal voice and then looked at Jiwoon.
"I like you the first time you cried. I didn"t know why but that very moment I felt a trigger that you pulled and shoot in my heart. I was so mad that I realized I don"t want to lose you to that girl. It was frustrating that you suddenly ignore me and broke things off. I was so mad at you but then I realized we were just clinging to that very reason you would treat my non existent frigidity. I like you but I was scared to realize that you were just being nice to me and that you"re fed up. But to think that it wasn"t the case—"
Yenn looked at him teasingly—Jiwoon just laughed at him and then pointed his fingers to everyone who"s been eavesdropping on them since long ago. Yenn gasped but he just scratched his head in embarrassment and looked awkwardly at Jiwoon. So what? I love him no matter how they saw us in any way after all. They already knew it. Yenn wet his lips and urged to Jiwoon.
"Now tell me what I wanna hear."
Jiwoon just chuckled and then approached him closer and leaned down to gave him a deep kiss which Yenn gladly accepted. He then whispered between their kisses.
"I love you too babe. You did great though I thought you"d reject me"
"Well. Didn"t I tell you then? Just tell me that simple one-four-three than—mmh"
"Yeah. I love you"
"Fuck you"
"Yeah fuck me. I"m slow."
Thy both laughed and held each other"s hand as they walked toward the others.
"This time, no more backing out" Yenn smiled at Jiwoon as he tighten the grip in their holding hands.
" Yeah, bear with me till the end of our lives" Jiwoon just chuckled and gave him a peck on his lips.
"Hey! That"s not what I meant!"
" What then?"
"If I said I want you eternally...would you still be with me?"
"Well that"s—"
"Oh don"t you dare try to reject it you fucker!"
Jiwoon laughed out loud and then pulled Yenn into his arms.
"That is, if you let me have a way with you tonight"
***
There are many times in life, where we would wished we"d give up, where we would try ridiculous things and find comfort in it. We would smile and cry not just because of joy—sometimes feelings are all mixed up and that would make us do things, impossible, indescribable, yet enjoyable things. We met people, lose people and met another again but in those meetings we find someone unforgettable, unforgivable and unbelievable but because of them, we learned to grow, reap what we saw and shed tears in sorrow.
What can we do? We"re just people....
People who love, hate and ignore one another.
I am Yenn Reigh Ashville and this is Han Jiwoon my lover, we"ve gone through things, fight like cats and dogs but made up and healed each other"s wound.
He is a sinner but I am nothing but a commoner.
I like life to be simple yet this person want was to be humble
We are men and in love at that,
If it was weird and disgraceful to you, so what?
I would always say it"s weird and cussed afterwards
But my boyfriend would always replied with a mischievous smirk
"Well, then let"s just make it weirder...."
The End~