Lesson 112- When you get upset, take a deep breath and use your words.
It’s fairly late in the evening and the bar is starting to get more quiet. Torin hasn’t tried for any more PDA but he has been lingering close and has been in my personal space on more than one occasion. In fact, I’m fairly sure that he’s the reason that it takes me so long to notice Lindy hovering by the bar uncomfortably. He’s so big he was blocking my view of her. I step around him with a big smile on my face.
“Lindy! I didn’t know you were coming in tonight. How are you?” I ask. She rushes forward and grabs my hands, clutching them tightly. Now that she’s up close I realise there are tears in her eyes.
“Oh no, Lindy what happened?” I ask, tugging her around the bar and leading her out back. I wave at Torin to keep an eye on the bar and he nods, although I don’t miss how his eyes follow us out the back. He definitely wants to come along. Sure enough, by the time I’ve settled Lindy in my room and gotten us both cups of hot tea, Torin has kicked everyone out, closed the bar and is waiting in my room, hovering awkwardly as Lindy is in the recliner and he is apparently unwilling to sit on my bed like Laura usually does.
“Tell us what’s wrong.” I prompt her. Lindy sniffles and rubs at her eyes.
“You! Someone told me tonight that the bar was closed because the human was sick and then someone else told me you were sick because you nearly drowned! I don’t want you to die.” She wails. Oh. Lindy is here, and upset, because the news of what happened to me just reached her. I guess she does stay fairly isolated, it’s not really a surprise that it took a few days for the gossip to reach her.
“I’m fine now, really. It was another jerk trying to attack me but Torin and I fought him off.” I add with a smile. I expect her to be reassured but she just keeps crying. I glance at Torin for help, but he looks just as out of his depth as I am. Hardly a surprise, I’m the more socially competent one most of the time, but Lindy is almost inconsolable and I don’t know what to do to fix this. In the end, I just perch awkwardly on the edge of the recliner and wrap an arm around her and let her cry it out. She wraps her arms tightly around my waist and buries her face in my stomach.
“I… I was just so… So worried!” She sobs into me. Eventually her tears dry up and she loosens her grip on me. She considers me for a moment, then straightens up, rubs her eyes, then she starts to untie her soft, brown pelt from her shoulders. She pulls it off and drops it in my lap.
“You should take this. Borrow it until you’re safe. You can’t drown if you have a selkie’s pelt.” She says with determination. I stare at her.
“Oh honey no! You need that! I can’t risk something happening to you. Besides, if someone attacks me again, they could steal it AND kidnap me. Then we would both be stuck. I’ll be just fine. I know what to expect if that guy comes back and I won’t give him another chance to drown me.” I assure her. I have no idea how I would actually do that, but Lindy seems to have faith in me, because she sniffles and nods.
“Okay. I’m not much of a fighter, and I’m not very brave. But if I can help at all. If you need to borrow my pelt… You’ll let me know, right?” She says softly. I smile and nod then pull her into another hug.
“Thank you so much for worrying about me honey. You’re really too sweet. You can see I’m just fine.” I promise. Lindy sighs and nods.
“Okay, just please don’t drown. I can’t do much, so it would really hurt if you drowned when that’s the one thing I could protect you from.” She explains. The poor thing, I really think I gave her a fright.
Torin excuses himself to give up a little privacy now that he knows there isn’t some immediate emergency that he should be helping with. It takes Lindy a little longer to calm down, then she has me tell her about everything that happened and how I ended up nearly drowning. She is suitably horrified and when she hears I was nearly killed by the binding spell too, she looks like she might cry again. I attempt to change the subject, but she sticks to it. She demands to know every detail of the binding spell, everything I know about it, everything I felt. By the time I’ve finished explaining she looks baffled.
“I don’t understand. Torin is your friend. Why would he let you risk yourself with a spell like that when it would be so easy to get rid of it? I don’t even understand what it’s for!” She complains. I sigh.
“I agree. But he insists it’s necessary. I don’t agree with him, but I’m hoping to change his mind.” I sound sad, and maybe a little angry. Lindy can clearly tell.
“You should talk to him, maybe he will get rid of it now that we know it’s so dangerous for you.” She suggests. Lindy is sweet, I appreciate that she understands I’m friends with Torin, she doesn’t immediately assume he’s some evil, abusive monster like so many other people do. He is clearly in the wrong here, but one wrong decision doesn’t make someone a monster. Not always at least.
“I should, actually I’m planning to have a serious talk with him before he goes home today.” I explain. Lindy’s eyes widen and she jumps to her feet, tying her pelt around her shoulders.
“I’m in the way, aren’t I? You can’t talk to him with me around. I should go.” She insists. I frown.
“There’s no hurry, you don’t need to rush off.” I assure her. She shakes her head.
“No, this is important. You should talk to him right away. I’ll go home, we can talk another time.” She says firmly. She then insists on me walking her out.
“But… Usually Torin takes you home.” I object. She shakes her head.
“I’ll be fine. I’m a grown woman, I can get myself home. I can’t always rely on other people to protect me.” She argues. I frown, concerned. But she IS an adult, if she wants to go home by herself I can’t stop her and she seems determined.
“At least take a taxi or something.” I plead. Lindy eventually agrees and calls herself a ride.
All too soon, Torin and I are the only ones here and I have no excuse to put off talking to him. Which is how I find myself pacing the hallway anxiously. I really don’t want to have this conversation. Every time we talk about this, I end up upset or angry and Torin ends up miserable and guilty. But he doesn’t budge. Why would this time be any different? But it NEEDS to be different, because even if he isn’t willing to talk about it, our relationship is slowly changing, into what I’m not totally sure, but we can’t keep going like this, as much as I’d like to lie to myself and say it’s okay, it really isn’t. The longer I pace the hallway, the more worked up I get. Lindy has only met me a few times and she is willing to loan me her pelt, so she basically trusts me with her life. I’ve spent almost every free moment with Torin for over a month. I’m closer to him than I’ve been to anyone, maybe even including my own brother. But he still doesn’t trust me? Is he actually planning to keep me here forever?