Lesson 148- Don’t worry about things you can’t control.

When I imagined making a deal with a demon, I would never have pictured sitting on a bed, cross legged face to face with the world’s biggest cinnamon roll. Not to mention I never would have imagined I would be the one who suggested it in the first place. I’m a little nervous, but I do trust Torin, so I’m not actually scared. Not really. 

“So… What kind of bargain are we making? I assume you have an idea or you wouldn’t have agreed to this.” I ask. Torin nods slowly. 

“I have an idea… But I don’t know if you’ll like it. It sort of leaves us both an… Out… Assuming the magic doesn’t screw things up somehow.” He says uncomfortably. I take his hand and squeeze it encouragingly.

“Go on. Tell me your idea.” I prompt and he sighs.

“If we make a deal that says you will… Continue to work with me, and as long as you do, I have to protect you. The bargain would last until either I stopped trying to protect you, or you chose to stop working with me. It is vague enough that it should allow you to work in any capacity. If you didn’t want to work at the bar, as long as we spent a decent amount of time working on… SOMETHING together… It would probably be okay. I think the bargain would give us a decent amount of leeway, and if for some reason you wanted out, you could technically walk away. Although then Solem could try to take you again. I think that as long as you were willing to work with me, the bargain would be binding and he couldn’t come after you.” He says with a frown. I’m a little confused, it sounds like a pretty good deal. What part am I supposed to be hating?

“It sounds like a good plan. Why wouldn’t I like it?” I wonder aloud.

“Because you would still have to work with me. You still wouldn’t be totally free.” He explains. I shake my head with a smile.

“But I would be. It’s not up to you to keep me safe. Plus, you’ve made it so that I can choose to leave if I want to. It’s not the same thing as keeping me trapped in a building. You’re making the bargain to try to give me more freedom, not less. It’s different.” I assure him. Torin seems a little less anxious. He still seems worried, but now he also seems a little bit pleased too. 

“You’d be okay with that deal? With having to work with me?” He confirms. Is that why he’s happy?  Because I agreed to keep working with him. And it hasn’t escaped my notice that he has very specifically said he wants me to work WITH him not FOR him. He’s not even trying to put himself in a position of power over me. I knew I was right to trust him. He could have used this to try and force me to stay with him, but instead he’s using it to give me a choice. 

“I think this bargain is perfect.” I tell him with a smile. Torin nods.

“So how do we do this?” I ask. Are we meant to write it down and sign something? Is there some magic thing involved?

“Carina, work with me for as long as you are willing and in exchange, I will protect you for as long as I am also alive and willing. Do you agree?” He states clearly. 

“Uh… Yes?” I answer, a little confused. Is this all there is to it? Torin releases a breath.

“Then we have a deal, it’s done.” He concludes. Torin narrows his eyes, like he’s looking me over and trying to work out if something has somehow gone wrong. I want to tell him that I feel totally normal, but I actually don’t. There is something a little strange. I don’t know what it is, but I feel different. Not bad, not good either. Just different. It’s weird, but I’m also weirdly sure that it’s nothing bad. 

“Something feels different, but I don’t know what. I’m pretty sure it’s okay though.” I rush to add before he freaks out too much. It doesn’t help much. Torin still looks more than a little alarmed.

“Tori, relax. I’ll be okay. If something happens, we can figure it out together, right?” I say with a smile and THAT seems to actually help. He relaxes a bit. I relax a lot. I’m not sure he’s realised it just yet, but he has pretty much just solved like, ninety percent of my life problems. I feel more free than I have since the night I met him. Sure, we still have to actually TELL Solem about the new contract and there is still a chance it won’t keep me totally safe. But none of that seems important right this second. I just want to celebrate. 

I get to my feet, suddenly full of energy. I can’t hide my silly grin. 

“We should go somewhere.” I announce suddenly. Torin blinks, a little confused. But he has a small smile on his face as he enjoys watching my excitement. 

“We should go out, leave the house. Do something fun, or something boring. Grocery shopping, anything. I want to go out. I want to move around and do something other than hide. I know it’s starting to get pretty late, and we ought to head into the bar soon and start cleaning the place up, but we could spare an hour or so right?” I say pleadingly. Torin actually laughs.

“You don’t have any clean clothes to wear.” He reminds me. I shrug, refusing to be put off so easily.

“So? Your shirt is basically a dress on me. It’ll be totally fine. Please Tori?” I ask, batting my eyelids dramatically.

Well… Alright. Where do you want to go?” He relents, but he doesn’t seem all that bothered by it. 

“Where would you want to go?” I turn the question back on him. Torin just smiles and gets to his feet.

“I will happily take you anywhere you like. I’m just glad to be invited along.” He answers. I tilt my head sideways.

“Of course you’re invited along!” I can’t imagine celebrating my new freedom without him!

“I thought you might immediately want to run off and do something on your own. Show your independence or something. Or at very least get some space from me.” He says, his old poker face back in place. 

“Tori, I’ve told you before, but I’ll say it as many times as you need to hear it. I actually LIKE spending time with you. It’s fun. I enjoy your company.” I state firmly. He smiles happily. That’s much better. I go back to considering where we should go. 

“It is getting kind of late, so that does limit our options a little bit. We could go get food somewhere, orrr we could find somewhere nice to take a walk and- Oh, I’ve got it! There’s a desert cafe that’s pretty close to here I think. We could go there and get hot drinks and something stupidly unhealthy. It’ll be nice.” I suggest. I’m not surprised when Torin agrees easily. As he goes to the bathroom to wash up a bit, I pull out my phone and send a quick text to the work group chat. I also include Damien, Eli and Lindy.

Rina- Hey all, guess what? I am officially free. Who wants to go get manicures with me later this week? :) 

Laura- OMG?!? I need more information. But if this is for real, I’m there.

Mira- Seconded.

Kyle- Hard pass. You couldn’t pay me enough, you girls have fun though.

Damien- So it’s all sorted out then?

Lindy- About damn time. 

Loverboy- Hell yes. Can I come too? Men can take care of themselves too you know!
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