Lesson 171- Sometimes you just have to take a risk and hope for the best.

**LINDY**
I pace my living room repeatedly. It’s all well and good to say I’m going to take a risk. It’s another thing entirely to actually decide how to do that. Despite my best attempts to think of a variety of options, one choice stands out above all the others, but the thought of following through with it makes me so nervous I want to be sick. With a deep sigh, I shuffle my way over to my kitchen where I have a pile of bills and general paperwork stacked on the counter and right at the bottom of the pile is a twenty dollar note. It’s the same one Richard gave me the first time he asked me out, the one he wrote his phone number on. I never recorded his number in my phone, and when I put the money on the stack of bills it was because I told myself I had every intention of spending it. Although now I’m thinking it might be because some part of me knew that I would want to keep the number. Checking each number twice, I dial Richard’s phone. 

His phone rings exactly six times. Then he picks up. He sounds sleepy.
“Hello?” He mumbles. Shit, I forgot that he’s been up for ages, he probably went straight to bed as soon as I left. Damn it. This was a terrible idea.
“Hello? Who is this?” Richard mumbles again. I force myself to take a deep breath.
“Lindy? Is that you?” He suddenly sounds a lot more alert. Did he just identify me by the sound of my breathing?
“Uhm… Yes.” I answer softly.
“Were you asleep? Sorry. I can call back another time…” I trail off. 
“No, no. I mean yeah I was asleep, but you don’t have to call back. What’s up? Is something wrong? Did you leave something here?” Richard asks, clearly concerned. 
“Uh… No. That’s not it. I just… I was wondering if… Maybe… You would want to… Go somewhere with me… Sometime.” I fight the urge to groan. That was TERRIBLE. I am AWFUL at this. Richard is cautious when he answers. 
“Was there somewhere you needed to go?” He asks. 
“N- No.” I respond shakily. There is a long pause.
“Lindy, are you asking me out… On a date?” He confirms. 
“Yes?” I squeak out. All at once, Richard lets out a loud cheer.
“YES! Hell yes. Finally!” He calls out. I don’t think he’s actually speaking to me, his voice is far away from the phone. I can only hear it because he’s speaking so loudly. A moment later he clears his throat and speaks into the phone again.
“Sure, that sounds great. I’d love to.” He says calmly. I can’t help myself. I burst out laughing and a moment later he joins in.
“I suppose you heard all that?” He chuckles.
“Yeah. You’re very… Enthusiastic.” I answer. 
“I have been waiting for this for weeks. Is there anything you wanted to do? Anywhere you wanted to go? I want this to go perfectly. I’ll plan it all out for you.” He says eagerly. I smile. It’s actually easier to talk to him over the phone. Maybe because I don’t have to see his face, or maybe because I’m home in my safe place and feeling secure. 
“Why are you trying so hard?” I ask bluntly. I immediately feel the need to cover my mouth. Was that rude? Richard just laughs.
“Because I want to impress you. I want you to like me Lindy.” He states clearly. 
“But… Why? You’ve been trying to get me to agree to this since the day we met. I never really did anything to encourage you or make you like me. I can’t figure out why you’re so… Determined.” I admit. Richard takes a moment to gather his thoughts.
“It’s… Because you’re so brave. I admire that.” He responds. I frown.
“Huh? I’m not brave. I’m scared of literally everyone and everything.” I point out. 
“That’s how I know you’re brave. You are constantly afraid for your safety, and rightfully so. But you still keep trying. Plus you’re just… Really kind. The first time we spoke, the way you got angry with me and tried to defend your friend. It was impressive BECAUSE you were so terrified. Not to mention it made me jealous as hell. All I could think was damn, imagine having someone who cared enough about me to want to defend me like that, even while afraid. I wanted that. I still want that. That’s why I asked you out. Then the more I saw you, the more I liked you. You’re kind to everyone, even the people who don’t really deserve it, and you’re careful and controlled in your actions. The opposite of me. I’m impulsive and the more I think about it the more I feel like that we could… Balance each other out a bit. You could help me learn to be a little more cautious, and I could… Be your backup. So you don’t have to be so afraid all the time. I really want that.” He adds quietly. 

I’m in shock. I knew he was interested in me, but a big part of me thought it was just because he liked the way I look, or because he enjoyed the chase of trying to get something he couldn’t have. But it seems like he actually likes… Me. He’s even thought about how we might… Work together. For a self proclaimed impulsive guy, he’s actually thought this through quite a lot. 
“Lindy? You’ve gone quiet. What are you thinking?” Richard prompts. 
“Oh, sorry. I was just thinking.” I hesitate.
“Thinking what?” Richard asks curiously.
“It’s just… I treated you so badly at first, so unfairly. I was so mean to you.” I remind him. Richard laughs.
“Lindy, sweetheart, your version of being mean is still nicer than most people I know. You were totally pissed off at me and the worst you did was ignore me or call me a dick… or Dick. I’m really not sure which one. Either way, it wasn’t enough to change my mind. Honestly, every time you ignored me all I could think was how much I wished you would care about me and act like that on my behalf.” Richard chuckles. I frown. Was my snubbing him really so mild? I thought I was trying really hard to treat him harshly. Is it weird that I’m a little bit put out at my failure.
“Oh… Well… That’s good I guess.” I answer grumpily. Richard laughs, still cheerful. 
“You’re sulking aren’t you? If it helps any, it really did sting when you said you hated me and would never hear me out.” He says, although he doesn’t sound even remotely bothered. I sigh.
“Yeah… Sorry about that. It wasn’t nice of me. I should have let you explain yourself earlier and… The stuff you said earlier, about us… Looking after each other. That sounds… Really nice. There are a lot of things I’ve never really done because I couldn’t go on my own. But I think with you… I could probably try some of them.” I admit.
“Yeah? What kinds of things?” Richard asks curiously. 
“Normal things, like going to the park, or grocery shopping. I’ve always had mine delivered. Or seeing a movie in a cinema instead of my living room. Or just… I don’t know. Lots of things.” I explain. 
“We can do all those things and whatever else you would like to try. I promise, I’ll always keep you safe. Next time someone tries to snatch your pelt, they’ll have to deal with me.” He says firmly and I smile. 
“I know you’ll keep me safe, and even if you can’t… I know you’ll rescue me again.” I say trustingly. Richard is quiet for a moment.
“Thanks Lindy. Seriously, thank you for trusting me. I promise I won’t let you down.” He says sincerely.
“And… I promise to always hear you out, and to do my best to keep you safe too.” I answer awkwardly. After that, we chat for a while longer about when we might go out and what we might do. Eventually, Richard starts to fade, clearly exhausted but reluctant to hang up. So I do it for him by saying good night and letting him rest. I still think Richard is annoying, and charming, and honestly he probably is still an asshole. But despite all those things, I like him anyway and I’m really looking forward to seeing him again soon.