Lesson 170- Good friends will be there for you even when you mess up.
**LINDY**
I’m quiet for a long minute as I think over everything Richard just told me. But one thing sticks out above everything else.
“Is your sister okay?” I ask softly. Richard seems surprised for a moment, then a smile crosses his face.
“Yeah, she’s alive and well. I convinced her to move out of town once she recovered. I didn’t want to risk her getting dragged into all the issues with Solem. She might come and visit again soon, but she’s fairly settled in there now.” Richard sighs. Is he… Lonely? I suppose he does come to the bar at least as often as I do. Considering everything that happened between them, it’s strange that he has chosen Torin’s bar as his hang out. But there really isn’t anywhere else. I need to work out what I’m going to tell Richard. The problem is, if I don’t hate him, how DO I feel about him? How do I treat him? Does it make us friends? He’s made it fairly clear that he doesn’t just want to be friends with me. If I accept that I don’t dislike him and forgive him for what he did to my friends, it also removes all the reasons I’ve been giving myself for turning down the handsome and charming guy who keeps paying attention to me.
“I’m… Really glad that your sister is okay. Also… I should have listened to you earlier. It was unfair of me not to give you a chance to explain yourself. I’m not saying I agree with the things you did or the decisions you made, but I can understand why you made them and I don’t think I can reasonably continue to hold them against you. Particularly since Rina and Torin aren’t.” I conclude. Richard sits up straighter and he has a grin plastered on his face.
“Seriously? Does that mean you forgive me?” He asks eagerly and I nod.
“As long as you’re willing to forgive me for holding it against you for so long.” I respond guiltily. Richard is still smiling.
“Of course I will. Question, does this mean you’re going to stop glaring at me when I flirt with you?” He leans in a little closer. I tense up nervously.
“Uh… I… Don’t know.” I stammer out. Richard laughs and I glare at him. He seems completely unbothered.
“Actually, I don’t mind when you glare at me. It makes me feel special since you never glare at anyone else. You’re too nice and too nervous to risk pissing people off.” He concludes. I want to argue but… He’s right. Damn him. Suddenly feeling very awkward and aware of the fact that I am alone with Richard, I stand and step slowly towards the front door.
“Well… I shouldn’t take up any more of your time. My ride is here waiting…” I trail off. Richard frowns.
“You’re leaving already? Well, if you have to go…” He stands and walks me out. He raises an eyebrow when he sees Torin waiting in the car. He seems momentarily concerned then relaxes.
“It’s good that you’re taking precautions to be safe when you go out. It’s not fair that you have to be so careful though. If you ever need company and someone to watch your back, I’m always happy to come along wherever you want to go. Events, random errands, anything. Just let me know.” He says cheerfully. I nod, still a little overwhelmed by it all and wave goodbye to him before returning to join Torin in the car.
I collapse into the passenger seat, completely exhausted. Why was that so draining? Torin glances at me, then starts the car and pulls out into the street. He doesn’t ask where I want to go, but judging by the direction I assume he’s driving me home. Thank goodness. I don’t think I’ve ever spent so long away from home before. I really want to crawl into my bed and sleep for a month.
“Did it go okay?” Torin asks suddenly. I nod.
“Yeah, it did actually. Better than I thought. But…” I hesitate before continuing. I’m not comfortable talking about this, but if anyone is going to understand, it’ll be Torin.
“I’m not sure how to treat him now that I’m not busy holding a grudge. He wants to be friends, or more than friends even. I’m not sure I’m capable of more than friends. It requires a level of trust that I’ve never tried to give anyone.” I conclude. Torin is quiet for a moment.
“I struggle to trust people too, but for very different reasons to you. You don’t trust people because it’s so dangerous for you, because so many people have tried to use you in the past. I’m distrustful because so many people just assume I’m not trustworthy. Honestly, trusting people is incredibly difficult, but I know it’s necessary because I know how it feels to not be trusted by the people I care about and it completely sucked.” He explains. I sigh deeply.
‘Torin… What do YOU think of Richard? Do you think I should trust him?” I ask curiously.
“I think… That he frustrates me. He makes me jealous and I don’t like sharing Rina’s attention. But honestly I’m jealous of most of her friends so that’s probably more of an issue with me than him. As for him… I don’t believe he’s actually a bad person. When he told Rina about how he got involved with Solem I had it looked into and as far as I can tell it’s the truth.” He adds. I risk a small smile. Torin really is a lot like me.
Since we’re sharing, I decide I need to more about his situation.
“How have you and Rina been going?” I question. Torin smiles a sweet smile.
“Things have been going… Really well.” He says, his tone pleased, although there is a slight hint of anxiety underneath it. I smile back at him.
“Something is still bothering you though.” I point out and he sighs.
“Despite everything, I can’t shake the feeling that one day Rina is going to realise that I don’t have all that much to offer and she’s going to want to leave me.” He explains. I frown.
“Is that why you haven’t asked her to move in with you?” I ask curiously. Torin blinks in shock.
“Move in? Well.. I’d love for Rina to live with me, but I seriously doubt she would say yes if I asked.” He says. I can’t help myself, I start to giggle.
“Torin… Ask her. She’s been hinting for a while now. Rina definitely wants to live with you.” I tell him bluntly. Torin seems shocked.
“Really? You’re sure?” Yeah, he definitely didn’t notice Rina’s hints. I nod.
“Pretty sure. Just… Be brave and take a chance. I think it will turn out better than you expect.” I advise him.
“I’ll definitely think about it and… Maybe you should take your own advice. Take a chance and… If things don’t go well, if you don’t feel safe… Call Rina, or me. We will always be around to bail you out.” He offers. Torin sounds super uncomfortable but entirely sincere and I adore him for it. Rina is right, he IS a big softie.
“Thanks Torin.” I say with a soft smile. He’s right. It probably is time for me to be brave. I’m not alone anymore. I can take the occasional risk because I don’t have to deal with it all alone.
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