Lesson 56- Smiling makes you and others happy… Most of the time.

I was very wrong. Not about being able to handle things, but about not being surprised by anything anymore. Because nothing could have prepared me for this. Sitting ON the bar in front of me are three very small people with wings that I have been informed are called pixies. They’re about a foot tall and they are completely wasted. There is one man and two women and I’m legitimately concerned that one of the women is about to fall off of the bar. They each had one shot. ONE! I suppose they’re tiny so it makes sense. The problem is that they don’t seem like they have any intention of stopping, and I don’t think I can realistically give them anything else to drink without feeling bad about it. How much alcohol does it take to kill someone? Does being supernatural make a difference? In this case I’m thinking not.
“Hey, would you guys maybe like some water or something? I could maybe find some chips or bread or something if you need something to soak up the alcohol.” I suggest. The pixies burst out in a round of laughter. Okay rude.
“No water… We wan- booze. More shots!” One of the women demands, getting to her feet. She stumbles forward, off of the bar and directly into me. Instinctively I catch her under her armpits and scoop her up like I would a toddler. She struggles and kicks at me, again not unlike a toddler throwing a tantrum. I go to lift her back onto the bar but a sharp pain on my forearm makes me drop her and she falls to the floor with a thump.
“What the hell, did you just bite me?” I ask incredulously. I hear the scraping of a seat and glance over at Torin who has just gotten to his feet. I wave him off, I can take care of this. I stand over the pixie woman with my hands on my hips.
“You have ten seconds to get out from behind the bar or I’ll have you removed.” I warn. She glances over towards Torin looking nervous. She’s drunk enough that she didn’t notice him standing up the first time, but this time she gets the warning. With a fluttering of wings she rises up into the air. Not smoothly though, she sways and dips as she moves like a badly made paper plane. She does successfully make it back onto the bar where she collapses and ends face down on the bar. The male pixie taps the bar with his tiny foot.
“Human, mmore shots!” He demands. I shake my head.
“Absoloutely not. You are all cut off. I suggest you call for a ride home.” I say firmly. The pixies all stare at me and the man stops his foot again.
“You can’t cut us off. We only had like one drink each!” He objects. I shrug.
“You’re tiny. Your blood alcohol levels are probably through the roof. You are all drunk and i can’t reasonably serve you any more alcohol.” I reason. Their jaws drop open.
“TINY? HOW DARE YOU CALL ME TINY. I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW I AM ABOVE AVERAGE HEIGHT!” THe male pixie rants. I shrug.
“For a pixie maybe, and I don’t really care about your height. I’m not being judgey. You are objectively small compared to the person that the standard drink is calculated for. It’s just the way it is.” I answer.
“That’s not FAIR!” The man argues.
“Life rarely is. Now, are you going to call for a ride? Or I could get you guys some water if you like.” I offer again.
“We want alcohol!” The man insists. I shrug.
“And I want a pony, but we don’t always get what we want. Now, make a decision.”

Twenty minutes later I’m following the pixies to the door as they stumble out of the bar and into a waiting car. I have no idea how they get through life because there is no way they can pass as human. But I get a quick look at the driver through the car window and he doesn’t look human either. A vampire maybe? I’m about to head back behind the bar when I notice a shadowy figure standing off to the side outside. For a second, my heart leaps up to my throat and I start to panic. Then I remember where I am. I’m inside, and Torin is like three metres away. No one can hurt me here. This might be the first time I’ve felt grateful to be trapped inside. If I were home alone I would definitely have been kidnapped by now. Obviously being trapped here still isn’t okay, but there are advantages. Like feeling safe enough to do this.
“Hey, are you alright out there?” I call out into the darkness. Everything is silent got a moment and then a soft voice answers.
“Is it busy in there?” it (she?) asks nervously.
“Fairly busy.” I respond cheerfully.
“Oh.” The voice sounds disappointed.
“Is that a problem?” I ask curiously, my voice naturally softening.
“I… I don’t do well in crowds.” She responds, taking a step towards me. The movement places her in the light from the doorway and I can see that I was right, the voice is female. The woman is small and compact. Although not in a delicate way. I would describe her as sturdy. She looks way more fit than I’ve ever been. She has tanned skin and medium brown hair with brown eyes. Something about her is just warm. I am immediately drawn to her in the same way I was drawn to the shy kids at work. They’re sweet and nervous. It makes me want to take care of them.
“You know, if you’re nervous about the people, you could come sit up at the bar. I’ll keep an eye on you.” I offer. More silence.
“Well, I’ll just let you think about it. I’d come out and introduce myself properly but I’m magically shackled to the building.” I add casually, then I head back to my place behind the bar.

It takes another fifteen minutes for the woman to come inside. She hugs her arms nervously around herself and is glancing around the room and flinching at every sound. I do my best to smile welcomingly. She creeps over.
“Hi… Where should I sit?” She asks nervously. I consider, if she wants to sit somewhere quiet, the best place would be the far end of the bar near Torin. But given how jumpy she is I’m not sure that’s the best idea. I know that he’s safe, but she doesn’t know that. Best not to push it for now. I pick the other end of the bar. It’s a little busier, but not that bad, plus I’m right here and able to keep an eye on her. If it gets to be too much I could rush her to the bathroom or something. I show her where to sit.
“Can I get you a drink?” I offer.
“Can I think about it first? I… Don’t get out much.” She practically whispers.
“Of course, no problem.” I assure her.

I’ve just finished pouring a drink when some drunk guy starts whining.
“Is that it? You can’t give me a little extra?” He asks. I shrug.
“I could, but I don’t want to.” I answer, handing over his drink. He pouts pathetically.
“But I had a really long day.” He complains. I just shrug but it doesn’t discourage him. He keeps complaining about how hard things are. They’re not even good complaints, just stuff like how his boss made him actually work until his scheduled finish time and how he got in trouble for napping during his shift. After a minute or two I decide I’m done listening. I reach out and grab his untouched drink from the bar in front of him and dump it out.
“Hey! I paid for that!” He glares at me and I roll my eyes.
“Oh sorry, it’s just you’re acting like a child so I figured you aren’t actually old enough to drink. Let me know when you grow up a little and I’ll consider serving you. But until then, I’m busy so move along.” I order. The man swears at me and heads back to his seat where a bunch of other guys are waiting. He immediately starts complaining and they all look up at me, not even trying to be subtle. I give them a little wave and my best smile.