Lesson 157- Sometimes it’s easier to show someone than to tell them.
There is something oddly satisfying about wiping down a brand new bench and restoring the newly renovated bar back to its pristine condition after the night ends. Despite the cleaning being oddly enjoyable, I rush through it, determined to catch Torin before he suddenly rushes off home or something. I don’t know what Lukas knows or what they talked about exactly. But it sort of confirms my suspicion that something is up with Torin and I’m determined to figure out our relationship. This awkward in between phase is killing me a bit. It all seemed a lot more straightforward when I was at his house. I knew what I wanted and he told me he loves me so I have a pretty good idea of what he wanted too. Since then, it feels like we’ve backslid. As soon as I finish cleaning, I walk straight up to him.
“Hey Tori, I feel like we need to have a talk.” I tell him seriously, not wanting him to dodge or avoid the conversation. He gives a deep sigh and his shoulders droop just a little bit.
“Yeah I know. You want to talk about what happens next, right?” He says sadly. I nod, a little confused as to what has him so unhappy.
“Yeah pretty much.” I agree. He sighs again.
“Well, the binding spell was removed and it should be reasonably safe for you to be out and about again now. I suppose you’ll want to leave now that things are mostly settled.” He says flatly. Huh? Oh, he’s thinking about my living situation. I’m actually not in any hurry to leave unless he wants me to. I don’t have much of an attachment to my old place and I’m fairly comfortable here now that I can actually go outside when I want to. I was planning to keep staying here, at least until something better comes along. It is convenient after all. But I should probably check if he WANTS me to stay here or not. Maybe he wants his storage room back.
“Did you want me to leave? I ask quietly. Torin shakes his head quickly.
“No. I just assumed that you wouldn’t want to spend any more time here than you have to in order to fulfil our bargain.” He explains.
“Tori, I already told you I like being here and spending time with you.” I remind him. He shrugs.
“That was before, you’ve had more time to think about it now. I- I never should have had Laura cast that binding spell on you, and I never should have forced you to stay here as long as I did. I just… Enjoy your company. I should have tried harder to help you solve things earlier.” He says guiltily. I sigh and take his hand.
“Tori, I told you before that it wasn’t your responsibility. I already appreciate all the help you have given me. Without you I definitely would have ended up stuck as Solem’s slave or something for the rest of my life. I know we haven’t always agreed on everything, but I’m not upset with you. Besides, I’ve spent half the time we’ve known each other either trying to catch up on all this magic stuff or sick or injured or SOMETHING. I don’t regret the time I’ve been here, and if I’m honest I am really not in any hurry to leave. Would it be alright if I stayed for a while longer? I doubt I’ll want to live here forever or anything. But I’m pretty comfortable right now.” I tell him with a smile. Torin’s eyes go wide.
“Really? But you were so determined to leave before…” He trails off and I shrug.
“Mostly because I wanted to be able to see my brother. I don’t have anything against this actual place. Or you. Right now I’m pretty happy with how things are.” I add since it seems like he’s been psyching himself out a bit. Torin seems confused.
“You are literally stuck working with me for what could quite literally be forever. It sort of limits your choices. You can’t go back to your old job or find something else you might be more interested in. You’re stuck.” He says guiltily.
“Tori, making a bargain with you was MY idea. I’m completely willing to accept the consequences which by the way, really aren’t as dire as you seem to think they are. I like working here, I like working with you, and hey at least it’s good job security.” I wink at him but he doesn’t laugh. He seems like he’s thinking about my answer. I’m starting to think this bargain might be good for Torin because he is clearly a bit insecure about this relationship. It might provide a little bit of reassurance for him that I plan to stick around. Or maybe it will do the opposite and he will think that I’m only here because of the bargain. Damn it. This whole conversation has gotten off topic from what I intended.
“Right… So none of this was actually what I was planning to talk to you about.” I start and Torin frowns.
“It’s not?” He seems wary, and kind of tired. I get the feeling that these kinds of discussions are hard for him.
“No. I wanted to talk about… Our relationship.” I say awkwardly. I was going to just straight up ask him out, but I suspect he will misinterpret it somehow. I try to consider the different ways I could make myself clear.
“What about our relationship?” He asks, a little defensively. Screw it, I know how to make myself clear. I step in close to him and tug on his collar until he leans down towards me a bit.
“I mean the part of our relationship that involves this.” I answer, then I lean in and kiss him.
I’m not sure why Torin is always so shocked when I kiss him, I’ve done it a couple times at this point, but the shocked noise he makes tells me he wasn’t expecting it, however the way he kisses me back tells me he isn’t complaining either. When I pull back, his ears are red and he looks dazed, but the expression quickly changes to panic.
“Rina… I- I uh… Well, I…” He clearly has something to say, but is struggling to get it out. I’m not surprised. I did know that something was bothering him. I drop my hands to his chest and attempt to calm him down.
“Hey, relax. I know you struggle under pressure and I don’t want to put you on the spot. So you don’t need to have this conversation now.” I tell him. He frowns, confused.
“You said you wanted to talk about it… And then…” He trails off.
“I do want to talk about it. So, this is me giving you a warning, a bit of time to be ready for the conversation. Tonight Laura and Catcher are working. So I would like to talk to you about it then, alright? Figure out the things you need to say. Prepare yourself however you need to, but tonight I plan to ask you out properly. So find a way to put the things you need to tell me into words and we can talk it out. Okay?” I tell him. Torin’s eyes are wide and I think I just blew his mind a little bit. But he nods his agreement and I step away from him, pleased with his agreement.
“And no avoiding me or the conversation, okay? I can actually leave the bar now and I am not above showing up at your house… Or your driveway I suppose since I wouldn’t be able to get that close without you letting me through the wards.” I conclude. Torin smiles a little, but he still seems kind of concerned.
“Okay. I’ll talk to you later tonight. Sleep well Rina.” He says before turning and half running out of the bar.
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