Lesson 44- Don’t take things that aren’t yours. It’s not nice.

Screw it. Nothing is going to change about my situation unless I change it myself. I need to take control of my own life. I thought that I could manage things by making friends, earning trust. But that doesn’t seem likely to work out anymore. I mean, I can’t even manage a proper conversation with Torin right now. That’s not to say that I’ve totally changed my mind about him. I don’t think that he’s the evil monster that everyone seems to think that he is. But ‘not totally evil’ is a fairly low bar. I can’t rely on that. I have to take care of myself, right? I ignore the nagging feeling of guilt as I casually approach Catcher, planning to grab a stack of glasses from the bar behind him and (hopefully) take his phone at the same time. I’m about half a second away from making my move when someone calls out to me.
“Rina, you’re back!” I whirl around to face Jackson who is leaning on the bar with a friendly smile. I try to hide the guilt and relief from my face. I might be desperate, but I’m not a thief and I don’t particularly want to be one. Catcher seems nice, he doesn't deserve this. I jump on the excuse to cancel, or at very least delay my plan.
“Hi Jackson. Yeah, I’m back. For now at least.” I add with a wry grin. Jackson’s smile fades.
“Are you alright? I was here last night and they told me that you were indisposed. I figured you were sick or somethin’, but… You don’t seem like yourself. Has something happened? You aren’t hurt, right? I don’t know that there’s much I can do, but if I can help you… Are you… Safe?” He asks, his tone thick with implications. Jackson is watching me closely, searching for signs of injury or distress.
“I… What?” I ask confused. Is he offering to help me? Help me how? Unless he knows how to break a binding spell AND can figure out who wants to harm me, there isn’t a lot he can do.
“I just… I know I can’t get you out of here, but if that demon is hurting you, or… Well. I could try to talk to him. I doubt that he would listen but I could get a few guys together, remind him of his manners maybe.” Jackson offers. He sounds unsure and I can see the doubt in his expression, doubt that he would be able to actually follow through with this plan. Fear that I might ask him to.

I’m frowning at him before I know it. Torin might be a liar, but I still don’t believe he wants to hurt me, not really. He’s not all bad after all. I already told Jackson that I’m not being harmed but all it took was a night off and a sarcastic comment and he’s reverted straight back to thinking that my life is in danger? My judgement about Torin might have been a little off, but it wasn’t THAT far off. I might be pissed off with Torin, but that doesn’t mean I’m okay with people assuming he’s some abusive monster. If anyone should know the difference, it's me.
“Ah, no. I just has a bit of a… Disagreement with Torin. I don’t think we’re really talking right now.” I explain. Jackson frowns.
“I knew that damn monster would be trouble. I could try to-” I cut him off mid sentence.
“Excuse me, did I call him a monster? No. I said that we had a DISAGREEMENT. Tons of people fight, and his response to the argument has been to leave me alone. Hardly a serious crime. You need to back off. If I need your help. I’ll ask for it.” I say firmly. Jackson looks like I slapped him and I relent a little. That WAS very harsh.
“Look, I appreciate that you want to help and it’s very sweet of you to worry about me, but I am not in any physical danger right now.” I say gently. Jackson nods slowly then sighs.
“Alright, but you let me know if that ever changes.” Then he walks straight out of the bar. He didn’t even order a drink! I’ll have to make sure to give him a free drink next time, to thank him for caring. Still, my discussion with Jackson has made something very clear to me. Even though I am absolutely furious with Torin, even though he lied to me. I don’t actually have any truly hateful feelings towards him. Ugh, somehow that just pisses me off even more. I want to hate him, I want to think that he’s a monster and blame him for all my problems. But HE wasn’t the one who chased me into that alley. He saved me, and at great risk to himself. Sure he can’t keep me here forever, but I honestly don’t believe that he plans to. I don’t think he really has a plan to be honest. He just wants to do what he thinks is right because he is, mostly (damnit) a good person. He for the most part doesn’t want to hurt anyone. But he DID hurt me, by lying to me to keep me here. Except… He didn’t need to lie to stop me from leaving. I’m already trapped here. He also doesn’t have to worry about my happiness or my comfort, but he has. For the most part, he seems like a fairly reasonable person. So why did he lie to me? Was it REALLY to make me cooperate? It just… Doesn’t seem right. But I suppose I never gave him a chance to explain, not really. But he could have come and spoken to me at any time and he didn’t! Except I did tell him to leave me alone… And Kyle did say he is trying to respect my wishes. Damn. If I want to hear from him, I’m going to have to be the one to approach him, aren’t I? Well that’s annoying. Still, maybe I should shove back my pride long enough to let him get a word in, I mean, if I don’t like his explanation I can always go back to ignoring him… What do I have to lose? Screw it. If I’m going to talk to him, I’m going to do it now, before I steal some poor guy’s phone and set off a panic.

After telling Catcher that I’m taking a quick break, I storm off down the hallway and straight into Torin’s office, not stopping to knock. Mostly because if I don’t do this now, I might chicken out. Torin jumps to his feet, grabs my arm and pulls me further into the room, placing himself between me and the doorway and glancing back and forth between me and it.
“What happened? Is something wrong?” He demands, alarm clear on his face. Apparently he has assumed that if I’m so desperate to talk to him, that there must be something VERY wrong.
“Nothing is wrong. I need to talk to you.” I say firmly. Torin blinks in surprise then closes the office door, gestures for me to sit, then takes his own seat and waits for me to explain.
“I haven’t forgiven you, I’m still majorly pissed off. But the more I think about it all, the less sense it makes to me. I’m GOOD at reading people. I don’t usually misjudge people so badly. I can’t believe that I could have read you so wrong. Particularly when you keep leaving me thoughtful gifts, and you act like you legitimately do want to be my friend. But if that’s what you want, then why didn’t you defend yourself? And why the hell haven’t you even tried to talk to me or explain anything?” I demand. Torin sinks back into his seat.
“You wanted to be left alone. I’ve limited your freedom in so many ways, I wanted to respect your decision.” He answers softly and I sigh. I believe him, which just reinforces my belief that he isn’t a bad guy, not really.
“I… Understand that. And I appreciate it. But I don’t want that anymore. Now I want the truth, so I’m giving you one chance to tell me everything.” I state calmly and firmly. This is the only chance he has if he wants to be my friend. I might be able to forgive him eventually either way, but I can’t be friends with him if he isn’t honest with me.