Lesson 165- Remember what your goal is and never give up.
**LINDY**
Torin clears out the bar and I spend the rest of the night curled up on Rina’s bed with her. Theoretically we are watching a movie on her tablet, but honestly I couldn’t tell you a single thing about it because I have not been paying attention to it at all. I know Rina is just trying to keep me distracted, but it isn’t working at all. I’ve never been without my pelt before. I feel so… Empty without it. Plus, I still feel really, really guilty. It was my own recklessness that got me into this mess, and now I’ve dragged my friends into it all too. I also completely forgot to thank Richard for intervening and trying to save me. If he hadn’t shown up, who knows where I would be right now? I yelled at him and he tried to save my life. I owe him more than thanks… I probably owe him an apology too. Damn it. I don’t want to apologise to him, I don’t want to OWE him. He keeps treating me… Well honestly he’s been treating me really well and that pisses me off because I want to hate him and he’s just making it so damn hard to do.
Torin did leave us alone for a few hours and honestly I'm impressed. He basically tries to spend every free moment he can with Rina, so I appreciate his effort to give us a bit of privacy. He comes and takes a seat on the recliner.
“Are you both okay in here?” He asks gruffly and Rina nods.
“We’re doing okay. Everything alright out there?” She returns the question. Torin nods.
“Is there enough space for you both to sleep in here?” He asks and Rina laughs.
“Tori, you could fit Lindy and I in this bed twice over.” She points out and he frowns.
“It’s not that big.” He argues.
“Not to you maybe because you’re a giant.” Rina declares and he smiles a little.
“I would barely fit in your bed.” He agrees. Rina smirks.
“Good thing I like yours so much then.” She comments and I blush. Is she flirting with him? Right in front of me!
“I am… Glad you approve.” Torin responds awkwardly.
“Yeah, I was thinking about what my options would be if you decided you wanted to make this room into a storage room again.” Rina remarks pointedly. Is she hinting that she wants to go live with Torin? I eagerly look to see his reaction. This is a better distraction than any movie she could pick out for me. Torin seems confused.
“I never said anything about making this back into a storage room.” He responds and I drop my head into my hands. Wow, that totally went straight over his head, didn’t it? I can’t help but feel for him. Being socially awkward is hard. Rina sighs and Torin just stares at her, clearly confused.
“Never mind. We can talk about it later.” Rina answers with a fond smile and I feel a pang of jealousy. I have to admit that a good portion of the reason I wanted to try leaving my house was because I want to fall in love one day. That more than anything else makes me feel a bit better. Seeing Torin and Rina, I know that even though I’ve potentially lost everything, I know that the reason I’m taking risks, it’s worth it. I can only hope it isn’t too late for me. Eventually, I fall asleep curled up against Rina’s side while she chats with Torin. It’s relaxing listening to them talk, and I don’t usually stay up all night so I’m very tired. Not to mention I had a major surge of adrenaline earlier so that wore me out too. I’m basically crashing. I couldn’t stay awake even if I wanted to.
Despite being reasonably well settled when I fell asleep. I do NOT sleep well. I have awful nightmares. I dream about the way it felt when that man snatched me off the street. I dream of the way it felt to be unable to call for help. But mostly I dream of being stuck, of no longer having the small amount of freedom that I’ve claimed for myself by coming here. Of no longer being able to see the few friends I managed to make. Of never having the chance to make more. Hell, even the thought of never being able to bicker with Richard again haunts my dreams. Then, worst of all, my nightmares get darker as my mind imagines all the things I could be forced to do. It doesn’t take long for me to scare myself awake, breathing heavily, my heart racing. I feel sick. I jump out of bed and rush across the hall to the bathroom where I promptly throw up. I don’t think I’m sick or anything. I think I’ve just gotten myself too worked up. It doesn’t take long for me to completely empty the contents of my stomach. I rinse out my mouth and borrow a bit of Rina’s toothpaste on my finger to try and clean out my mouth a bit. I splash a bit of water on my face then comb my fingers through my hair. I automatically go to straighten my pelt over my shoulders but it’s not there. I feel so… Lost. My pelt is a part of me, and I feel so wrong without it. Unable to go back to sleep, I step out into the hallway. The door to the bar is propped open so I step out to see Torin sitting at one of the tables. His head is down on his arms as he doses off, but he looks up as I walk in.
“You’re awake.” He comments and I nod. Torin is nice and I enjoy his company but I’m too anxious to talk. Besides, we’re both pretty quiet people. Neither of us struggles to sit in silence. So I take the seat across from him and settle in.
Rina is asleep and I don’t want to wake her, so I spend a few hours sitting with Torin and watching him pet Crash affectionately. After a while, the trap door behind the bar cracks open and Jane kind of waves at me while purring. Somehow the sound she makes sounds… Concerned. I get up and give her a few of the empty bottles that are stacked up on the bar. I’m still a little frightened of her. But Rina assures me that Jane is her friend. Plus I heard how she dumped water over Richard and that mental image is enough to motivate me to be brave. She purrs loudly and vanishes into the darkness. I turn away to return to Torin when a light clattering sound draws my attention. I spin back and see something small and shiny on the floor by my feet. I bend down and pick up a small, ornate pocket knife. It’s too small to really be used for anything more than cutting string or opening letters, but I appreciate the gesture. I wouldn’t be comfortable with a larger weapon and Jane is just trying to give me a way to defend myself. I thank her gratefully. Torin seems perplexed. I guess Jane doesn’t leave him any gifts. I examine the little knife. It’s very pretty for a blade. It’s a shame that it won’t actually help protect me. They have my pelt. There is no way I could ever get close enough to hurt them if they wanted to take me. All they would have to do is order me not to harm them. I repress a sigh, not wanting to hurt her feelings. Suddenly, a loud knocking on the front door makes me jump and my heart starts to race. Someone is here.
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