Lesson 99- Disappointment doesn’t mean giving up. Sometimes, you just need to try again or find a new way to make things work!

When I wake up, Torin is already here and has continued sorting in his office, although it doesn’t look like he’s made much progress. On the bright side, he DID bring the filing cabinet. I want to complain that he locked his office door, but that would mean admitting that I tried to keep working and I refuse to do that, so I guess we both get away with being sneaky. With the two of us working together, we make quick progress. Particularly since we actually have somewhere to PUT his endless paperwork now. I swear he has kept every document this bar has ever used. I doubt most of this is necessary, but I suppose if there’s space, then there isn’t really any harm in keeping it all. By the time Catcher and Laura are ready for Torin to open up the bar, I’m just sweeping the floor and getting ready to mop. It’s SO satisfying. This office is finally clean! It looks so much bigger, I can hardly believe it’s the same room. Tonight is my night off and I fully intend to spend the entire time hanging out in here, just because I can. I might even bring a blanket and all my sketching stuff and spread out, because there’s actually space for me to do that!

I enjoy my evening hanging out in Torin’s office. He works up at his desk and I relax on the floor, picnic style with a blanket and some pillows. Even better, I don’t end up weird or flustered again for the entire night. The bar is closed and Torin returns to the office with me while Laura is cleaning up. Usually I would go help her, but I’m comfortable and to be honest I just don’t feel like it. I work plenty of hours, the world won’t end if I don’t help out this one time. I’m reluctant to ruin the relaxed mood we have going, but I promised myself that I wouldn’t just sit around and wait for things to change. I need to do what I can, and that means pushing a little every now and then.
“Hey Tori…” I start. He looks over to me.
“Yes?” He asks softly.
“Uh, well… If you were me, and you needed to find something to tell your brother, what would you tell him? Remembering that you don’t want to hurt him, you don’t want him to be offended, worried or lonely. What would YOU say?” I ask. Torin blinks at me and seems completely confused.
“You want… MY opinion?” he states, his tone baffled.
“SUre, why not?” I answer. He raises an eyebrow.
“Because I offend and upset almost everyone I meet. This is not exactly my area of expertise. ..” He warns and I sigh.
“I know that. But I really miss him and I want to talk to him… I was just sort of hoping you might have some idea of what I could tell him. You did say that if I thought of something decent you would agree to it.” I remind him. Torin considers.
“I suppose I did say that… But why ask me? There have to be better people you could ask, Laura maybe?” He suggests. I shrug.
“Maybe I will ask her eventually, but you’re smart, why wouldn’t I try asking you?” I ask.
“Because I’m the one who took your phone in the first place?” He points out.
“Why should that matter, it’s not like you want me to be unhappy, why wouldn’t you want to help me? If we can find an agreement that works out for both of us, then why wouldn’t we take it?” I add. Torin frowns, he really doesn’t seem to be interested in helping me and I don’t understand why. He has nothing to lose, and to be honest it’s strange for him to refuse me anything. I suppose anything other than wanting to leave or wanting my phone…
“Are you really that against letting me have my phone? You were the one who said you would think about it if I figured out the right thing to tell my brother.” I remind him.
“Yeah, but it’s not like there really is anything you CAN tell him that we would both be content with.” He grumbles. My eyebrows fly up to my hairline.
“Excuse me?” I demand. He looks uncomfortable.
“Well, it’s a bit of a hopeless case, isn’t it?” He points out. I cross my arms and glare at him.
“You never had any intention of giving me back my phone, did you?” I ask bluntly.
“I told you, if you can think of something to tell your brother, then I’ll think about it.” He answers. His words say one thing, but the way he looks away from me and refuses to meet my gaze says something very different.
“Torin.” I glare at him and he seems to almost shrink under my gaze which is a funny thing for such a large person.
“Rina… It’s not that. I just…” He trails off, clearly not sure what else to say. I just sigh and pack my things up.
“It’s fine, I don’t know why I ever expected anything else. You’ve been clear from day one that you don’t want to give me my phone back. I just don’t understand why. I did at first, but now? I don’t understand at all.” I turn to leave his office.
“Rina, wait!” He calls after me. I glance over my shoulder, an eyebrow raised. Torin opens his mouth to speak, but no words come. I think he just panicked and called after me, he didn't actually have anything to say.
“You never promised to give it back, not really. But you got my hopes up and that… That was really cruel of you. Now I’m going to bed. I don’t want to see you for a bit.” I tell him. I keep my voice even and calm, but I doubt he can miss the pain in my eyes.

I rush back to my room and block the door. Crash is curled up on my bed and I clutch him to my chest. I don’t cry and I'm not going to cry. But I just feel… Crushed. I thought I had a chance of making things work here, of speaking to my brother, keeping my friendship with Torin intact and eventually getting my life back on track. But now… That doesn’t seem so possible after all. And he knew it, Torin KNEW that he was never planning to actually give me back my phone. He knew my hope was all false and he just let me keep thinking I had a chance. I know it’s because he wants to get along, and because he doesn’t want to upset me. But I think I would have preferred he be honest with me. We spend almost every waking moment together, I’ve had no choice but to entrust my life and wellbeing to him, I’ve befriended him, and he’s STILL trying to manipulate me. I don’t believe it’s malicious. But it isn’t okay either.

I hear the back door open and close and I assume that Torin must have left. I leave my room and find Laura standing in the hallway looking baffled.
“Did he just leave before me?” She asks, completely confused. I shrug.
“I told him to give me space.” I tell her as way of explanation. Laura immediately looks uncomfortable.
“Relax, I’m not upset with you this time.” I assure her. She shrugs.
“I know, it’s just… I don’t like when he’s cranky. Besides, it’s like when mum and dad are fighting or something. I feel like a kid who is caught up in it all.” She jokes.
“This is nothing like that.” I say firmly. She just smiles.
“Whatever you say. I’ll see you later tonight, okay? Make sure to lock up behind me.”

I’m in my room getting ready to sleep when Crash starts meowing. I look for him and find him standing by my bedroom door, slowly backing up and looking very unhappy. Upon closer inspection, I find that there is a puddle of water creeping under my door. What the hell? Is something leaking?