Lesson 139- Waiting can be hard, but it’s usually worth it.
Torin shakes his head adamantly.
“Absolutely not. To make a bargain that would stop him from taking her… It would have to be one hell of a bargain. It’s far too risky. Bargains with demons… There’s a reason no one wants to make them. Our magic can have unexpected side effects. Even us demons usually don’t know exactly how they’re going to turn out. It’s why we avoid overcomplicating them and why most demons make deals that are skewed their way. It reduces the risk of the magic screwing things up for them.” He explains. I shrug.
“I don’t think it’s that bad an idea, as long as we think it through and are careful with the actual wording, it should be reasonably safe. It’s not like you would be trying to make some unfair bargain, and if it got Solem off my back it would be worth it.” I conclude but Torin is already shaking his head again.
“No, I will NEVER make that kind of bargain with you. Small agreements like letting you keep the kitten and promises that I know I can keep are one thing. But a bargain that would protect you from Solem? It would have to be long term and it would have to have no loopholes. Anything would happen and you would have to give up far too much to make it work.” He says, his tone suggesting that he would listen to no argument. I decide to drop it. Torin clearly isn’t willing to discuss this. Maybe it can be a backup plan. If all else fails and I HAVE to be kidnapped by a demon, I’d much rather it be Torin. Damien however doesn’t take the hint, and he keeps arguing.
“I don’t know man, it seems like a good solution to me. I mean, I don’t really want my sister under some deal, but if it’s that or having her kidnapped by some psycho, it seems like the better option.” Damien argues. Torin frowns.
“No.” He answers flatly.
“We could at least think about it, maybe you could think of a bargain that would have minimal effects.” Damien continues. I can tell that Torin is getting upset. He is tense and I think he might be about to bolt.
“I will not make a bargain with Rina.” Torin answers. His voice is stony. I nudge Damien, trying to indicate that he should probably stop. But he isn’t great at knowing when to shut up.
“Just consider it. We could brainstorm some ideas, it wouldn’t mean going through with it and-” Damien is cut off.
“I WILL NOT BARGAIN WITH RINA. NOT NOW, NOT EVER!” For a moment, his eyes flash black, then his eyes widen and he looks at Damien’s startled face. He turns and rushes from the room. I hear his office door slam shut.
“Oops?” Damien comments and I roll my eyes.
“Oops? You basically just found a sore spot and kept poking at it. Why didn’t you stop sooner?” I complain. Damien frowns.
“I wasn’t thinking about him, I was thinking about you. About what’s best for you. I’ll apologise to him later… When he calms down.” He says guiltily and I sigh.
“I’ll go make sure he’s okay.” I tell him, then I follow after Torin. I crack his office door open a bit and peek in. He’s sitting with his head flat on his desk. I step inside and approach him, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“Tori? You okay?” I ask softly. He shrugs.
“Tell me what’s bothering you. If it’s because you yelled at my brother, he kind of deserved it. He’s sorry for pestering you like that.” I tell him. He makes a sound of disagreement, but doesn’t sit up.
“Tori, come on. Tell me what’s wrong.” I keep trying. He sighs and slowly turns his head to the side so that he can see me, but he doesn’t sit up.
“I told you I would figure it out, but I don’t know how to fix this for you. I know you want to be able to have a more normal life, but I don’t know how to give that to you. Then what your brother said… About thinking of possible bargains…” He trails off, hesitating.
“Go on.” I prompt him.
“I… I’ve thought about it. So many times. I never really cared about making deals with people before. I feel the need to enforce them, like any demon. But I didn’t worry about making them. But recently, I’ve thought about bargains I could make with you. Ones to make sure you stay with me, ones to make sure you’re always my friend.” He pauses to sit up, looking at me anxiously.
“I know a bargain like that would make you miserable. You want to be able to leave here, you want to be able to choose for yourself if you come back or not. I could never do that to you, but asking me to make a bargain… I can’t trust that it would be fair. I might not even do it on purpose, but I would mess it up. I know I would. I’m an awful person.” He drops his head back down onto the desk. I bend down and wrap an arm around him.
“You aren’t an awful person Tori. If you were, you would have tried to trick me into staying, and made some bargain. But you didn’t. You have selfish thoughts sometimes, so what? Everyone does. But you wouldn’t act on them. You’re too good for that. You care too much. If you didn’t, Dami would never have suggested I make a bargain with you. He looks at us and he can see that I trust you, that you’re good to me. If you were really as awful as you think you are, he would never have pushed so hard.” I tell him. Torin lifts his head a little.
“Really?” He asks softly. I nod.
“Really. So many people have told you for so long that you’re no good, part of you has started to believe it. They’re wrong and so are you. Also… You don’t need to feel bad that you don’t know how to save me. You're not the one who got me into this mess, you don’t have to get me out of it. I appreciate every bit of help you can give me, but I won’t hold it against you if there’s nothing you can do. I promise.” I do my best to reassure him. Eventually he sits up properly again and turns to face me.
“I… I… You know I… Care about you… A lot. Right?” He says haltingly and I smile.
“Yeah Tori, I know.” I say gently. I want to say something more. Tell him how much I care too. But I promised I wouldn’t let myself do anything of the kind until he removes the binding spell. He’s agreed to it, but until it actually happens, it’s just words. I do trust him, but I need to stick to my word. Besides, if I have it my way, that spell will be taken off of me tonight, then I can sit down and have a proper talk with Torin about exactly how it is I feel.
Torin nods shyly, apparently not really expecting any more of a response from me. Although he seems pleased enough with his own confession. Either way, I give him a proper hug so that he knows that I’m not upset with him or anything since he is fairly prone to assuming the worst.
“Tori, can we get rid of the binding spell tonight?” I ask softly. He sighs. I know he doesn’t particularly want it gone, but it’s time. He nods.
“I’ll talk to Laura about it after her shift. We can close up early.” He offers. I want to ask him to do it right away, but I can’t keep making him close up the bar for me all the time. He’s probably lost so much money because of it. Besides, if he took off the spell now, I’d still want to work my shift. But I bet Laura would be too tired to help me. So I suppose I can wait a few more hours.
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