CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER TEN
With face resting against the window of the car, I let a small smile creep up my face. The ride back to our hotel was so short but I did not miss Sasha constantly throwing me a secretive glance. But I guess I was so deep into my world of reminiscing to actually let her bother me.

“Okay, spit it out,” she stated the moment we walked into our hotel room. Trina had gone off with a man she met at the bar and would probably not be around until an hour or so later. It was finally time the poor girl got some instead of being hung over a douche bag of an ex.

“What?” I played dumb, knowing very well what she was hinting at.

“The coy smile, disappearing for almost an hour, the flushed cheeks; so what’s up?” she questioned walking over to my side of the suite.

“I don’t have any coy smile and nothing is definitely up,” I said, proceeding to retrieve my nightdress from the neatly arranged suitcase. Will being such a clean freak and orderly fellow, had made sure to arrange everything in my suitcase to the very last detail. Still, why wasn’t the guilt of what I’d done hitting me yet?

“Come on, we have a sure one hour to ourselves before Trina comes,” she pestered me, fueling the thirst to gossip in me.

“Fine but promise me you are not going to make a big deal out of it,” I said as I got rid of my heels before changing into my nightdress.

“It depends. Was he good?” she winked mischievously as I joined her on the bed, putting a pillow on my lap.

“Good? He was way better than those sex scenes I write in my novel. It was like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. It’s like every inch of your skin could feel it, you know? I actually still feel his lips and the touch of his hand all over me. Fuck! I never thought it was possible for me to even let a man dominate and now I don’t even regret it even though I know I probably should,” I said it all in one breath.

“Oh Holy Crap! You fucking screwed that sex bombshell! This is so damn great. I never really thought you could get through with something like that, I mean, your absolute loyalty to Will is quite rock hard. Damn! How did he manage to charm your tight panties off?”

“I have no idea. One moment he was being all flirty and straightforward about wanting to fuck me and the next moment I’m in a bathroom having the hottest sex ever,” I was still reeling from the mind-blowing sex.

“Y-you cheated on Will?”

“Trina,” I gasped looking up at Trina who stood by the door, a look of pure shock on her face, “We did not see you there, “I added, knowing she was just about to give me a lifetime lecture. Was she not supposed to be with that hot guy for an hour or so?

“How could you cheat on your fiancée Nadia?” She closed the door behind her, walking towards us.

“Hey, enough. Will does not own her body. She can screw whoever she wants and no one is supposed to hold it over her head,” Sasha came to my rescue with probably the poorest comeback though it was a bit true.

“Are you being serious right now? They have been dating for three goddamn years and now you are so happy she fucked someone else who was not Will? Wait, was this your doing Sasha?” She narrowed her eyes. The more she talked, the closer I felt edging towards the sense of guilt but no, it was not the guilt of sleeping with someone who was not Will. It was something else, something that had not dawned on me until now.

“My doing? Yes, it’s true I had been pressurizing her to sleep with someone else before but this time it had nothing to do with me. This was all her and you have no right to judge her for it,”

“You don’t realize just how much it hurts to be cheated on because you have never been in a relationship before Sasha,” Trina snapped, “It snaps you completely and no matter how many times you tell yourself you’ve healed, you never actually do. There will always be scars,”

“Look, I’m sorry that Sean cheated on you but that was college. Get over it and stop trying to ruin it for her,”

“Can you both just stop?” They both turned their focus on me, obviously taken aback by my sharp tone,” Look, I love both of you because you are my best friends but Trina you need to understand that this is my life and Sasha you need to actually start being considerate and understand where Trina’s opinions are coming from. She was cheated on by her first love and you cannot blame her for the outburst. Sleeping with Alpha was-“

“Alpha? That is his name?” They both questioned.

“No it’s just a name I gave to him because…well, it doesn’t matter. Sleeping with him plus Trina’s outburst opened my eyes. Yes, I’m guilty but not because I slept with someone else, but because I now realize that I have just been pushing on Will, giving him hopes of something that I thought was there but was actually just an illusion in my brain. Yes, I loved being around him, the sex was fun but tonight, I’ve never felt so alive in my life. Maybe it was because I had been through so much pain in my life that when Will entered my life, I was so determined to hold on to that first speck of goodness that I created this bubble of belief that he was the one.,”

“Just a few minutes of pleasure in the washroom taught you all that?” Sasha questioned wearing a look of disbelief.

“I guess I always felt something was missing. I just never knew what it was. For a long time, I thought dominating over a man made me invulnerable but after tonight, I ‘m not going to hold on to those fears anymore. I want to explore now, figure out what I like and what I dislike. I want to have a taste of the world I had shut myself out from for such a long time and take the risks I have been so afraid of. When we get back home, I’m going to break up with Will. He is too good to be with someone as broken as me; someone who has not even figured herself out,”

“Well, if that’s what you want then you can always count on me for support,” Trina said, a small smile pasting on her beautiful face as she inched closer to hug me.

“This trip just got hella lot of fun. Welcome back to the single ladies club,” Sasha shouted as she joined the hug.

We would have probably hugged forever if it had not been for the ringing of my phone.

“Its Will,” I muttered, sneaking a glance at the two women as I swiped the screen to answer the call, my heartbeat a little quicker than normal.

“Listen Will we need to-What? Slow down…When? “I listen before I answered, “I’ll try to get back home as fast as I can,” I said before the call came to an end.

“What happened?” Trina questioned. I had to step off the bed, pace around for a second as I tried to absorb the shock before turning back to my two best friends wearing anxious looks.

“Will’s mother got hit by a reckless driver,” I paused, rolling Will’s shaky voice in my mind like a tape in slow motion, “ She is dead,” I announced.