Chapter 34

As I watched the trees dance in the soft breeze, an owl hoots at a distance. There are no clouds in the midnight blue sky, and the moon shines brightly. I'm down on my luck. It's a sensation that irritates me greatly. I landed myself in a playground in the neighboring town after driving around randomly. I asked Gabriel for some much-needed time to contemplate everything after he revealed who he was along with what I meant to him. It was all quite overwhelming. He objected at first, but eventually decided that it was the best option.
The more I consider it, the lower my self-esteem becomes. There are so many uncertainties in my head that I'm afraid I won't be good enough for Gabriel. How am I meant to lead him when he's a Lycan King while I'm just a regular human? The news of Gabriel's mate's discovery has already spread, and Chris' pack mates are not being kind to me. People mock and criticize me, murmuring about how sad and weak I am, unfit to become a Luna or a Queen. They're gradually eroding my trust to the point where I can no longer bear that I have stopped visiting Chris and his folks.
Is it possible that they're all fine? My heart aches with pain as I ponder these questions. Gabriel can choose any lady he wants as his mate, a strong and ideal werewolf who will be acknowledged as someone deserving of leading with him. I sigh deeply and shuffled my feet as I sit on a swing in a deserted park. I wanted some time alone in a calm spot to sort through my muddled thoughts. However, I had not spotted a figure approach where I sat and leap from out of my skin as they placed a hand upon my shoulder during all of this. Turning back after leaping from my seat, I see the boy remove his hood, exposing a recognizable face.
Kaden Reid.
"What are you doing out there - wait, what are you sobbing about?" Kaden takes a step closer to me, his thumbs wiping away my tears. "What happened, Amanda?" I shake my head, pull back, and wipe my damp cheeks once again, the chilly air quickly drying them. When I return his stare, I bite my lower lip at the worried gaze. "It's nothing, just some random thoughts." I groan and sway slightly. "Would you like to discuss it?" As I stand, he asks gently, and I shake my head.
I turn around and begin walking up the driveway where my car is situated because a sob rises in my throat. I wouldn't want him to watch me cry because I won't be capable of expressing what I'm going through to him. Kaden stands in front of me, obstructing my route, and I hear rushing footsteps. I'm about to say anything when he speaks, and I'm glancing at him through foggy eyes. "Do you want to have some gelato? I'm aware of a location." I let out a gentle laugh right away. The moonlight reveals his smile and his waiting hand for mine to grab it. I nod, sighing, before accepting it and allowing him to take me down the trail and into town.
My eyes is drawn to the city lights, the pulsing music emanating from open nightclub doors, and the lit-up windows of many little businesses.
We wander for a while until I come to a stop in front of the cutest gelato shop I've ever seen. I hardly have time to enjoy it before I'm dragged inside and dragged to the counter, where a colorful array of different tastes is displayed in a display case. After a lengthy debate about whether flavor seems to be the best, I decide to sample a blueberry and blackberry gelato. Kaden despises pistachios, but tries them because I dare him, and he needs to "keep his rep."
"I think," he begins as he sits down in the booth next to the window, followed by me. "That you look lot better whenever you're smiling than being a weirdo, rather than weeping your eyes out on a park swing at midnight." "Just one of those days." I say, spooning the sweet delight into my mouth while enjoying the delicious explosion of flavors. "You know, when you're driving around and you start crying." I look up to see him looking at me expectantly, his eyes full of wonder. "I'm sorry, but I would not want to speak about it." "Don't worry." "Everything is known to the sensei." As he consumes the ice-cream, he gazed at me even as his Adams apple bobbing.
"However, you're a long way from home." I shrug, carelessly, because it's late plus tomorrow is a school day." "I'll sleep inside the car or something," says the narrator. "I'm not sure I would like to go home just yet." Returning my gaze to him, I observe him looking at me in surprise, his blue eyes slightly expanded. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, "You're spending the night at my place." I quickly shake my head and push the now-empty dessert cup away. "So, you're being formal now?" "I don't want to intrude," "I can -"As he puts the remaining of his ice cream into his lips, one heavy brow arches.
''Kaden -''
"Amanda, I'm not allowing you drive yourself home this late." I don't share a room with anyone and have a spare room. 'OK, we'll go to school together tomorrow.' I huff in surrender and nod tiredly as Kaden gives me a severe glare. He pulls me up and leads me out from the parlor, grinning. I'll definitely return here, I thought to myself as I turn around to see us walking to the park. Kaden insisted on taking me to the "beautiful ride" back to his apartment after I told him my car was left there. Despite my concerns and fears, the notion of not being with Gabriel causes me to feel a pang in my heart.
I desire him, regardless of who or what he is. I want it all: the tingles and sparkles, his husky laughter, his forest green gaze, his touch, his beautiful lips. Is it correct to conclude I'm dependent on him? Why would I want to experiment with drugs when I already have him? The notion of him has completely dominated my thoughts. I want him to hug me close and assure me that everything will be fine, to kiss me as well as make me neglect about anything else. How am I falling for him so hard and fast? Is this how it goes in normal relationships as well, or am I being strange? I wish my mind would shut up; I've had my fill of thinking concerning life today.
Kaden, thankfully, turns up to a double-story house with a picket fence. He pulls into the driveway and exits, with me following closely behind. "Well, aren't you a halo-wearing rebel?" I taunt, a smile on my face as I look at the growing flowers. He grabs the key from his pocket and walks up the porch. "I despise unkempt gardens."
As we enter the warm home, I laugh and hum in agreement. I followed him into the spare bedroom, chatting with him the entire time. He opens up the door on the right side of the hallway, which leads to a room with a single bed against the wall, a bedside table behind it, and a lamp perched on top. The carpet is a squishy beige, nearly cream color, and the walls painted plain white.
"This is it." I'm predicting you want to go to bed now because you look tired?" Kaden inquires, leaning on the door as he observes me sit just on the bed and place my bag next to me on the ground. Knowing I wouldn't be staying overnight with the Winks', I returned home and carried some clothes before leaving. They wouldn't let me stay at my house by myself, but I felt suffocated and didn't have so much space or time to think.
"Yeah," I say, my eyelids sagging as I hide a yawn. "I'm sleepy, so I'm going to change and then go to bed." Would you please wake me up for school in the morning?" "Sure." I'll leave it to you, but if you want a pizza, come into the sitting room." On his way out, he winks and chuckles as he shuts the door.
Suddenly, I'm not as fatigued as I used to be. If I had to choose between sleeping and eating pizza, it's apparent what I'll do. I immediately change into my pajamas and exit the room, tying my hair in a messy bun as I walk down the corridor. I walk past the kitchen before turning around and entering through an open doorway, a cheeky look on my face while Kaden chuckles and cuts the pizza to slices. "Are you no longer tired?" He teases, his voice rising to a higher point as he cracks jokes, making me laugh out loud.
"No, now give me a slice." After calming down and retrieving the plate from him, I smile. We walk into the living room, and I'm surprised to discover that he does have 'White Chicks' taped on the TV, ready to be played. As he bites into the pizza slice, I take a seat near him and rest my dish on my lap. Soon, we're so engaged in the movie that we forget about everything else, mouthing the words, choking on food, giggling and pointing towards eachother's faces. I went to bed happy that night without anything on my mind since overthinking destroys you and making everything appear much more worse than it really is.